Illinois football has just suffered its most crushing loss in years: Lovie Smith's beard.
— Illinois Football (@IlliniFootball) May 27, 2020
Song of the Day: "One Step Closer" by Linkin Park.
Word of the Day: Envisage.
LAST PANDEMIC. Despite how often you've heard the phrase "unprecedented times" these days (there's a drinking game in there somewhere), this ain't the first time modern(ish) America has dealt with a global pandemic
Jack Long of The Lantern did a fantastic deep-dive through The Lantern archives from the time of the 1918 Spanish flu outbreak to paint an eerily similar picture to the one we're currently facing – even down to the social-distanced football crowd before the 'Shoe was even built.
Although campus closed Friday, Saturday’s football game against Denison went forward with permission from the university’s Director of Student Health Dr. H. Shindle Wingert.
In a statement in The Lantern, Wingert said if the game’s spectators were “distributed throughout the stands as much as possible and at the same time being in the fresh air,” he could see no reason “why the game should be prohibited.”
The whole piece is worth your time if nothing more than a reminder that this is something we've overcome before, and we're gonna do it again.
And hey, it's not all bad – 1918 was also the first time Ohio State beat Michigan. I'd be concerned about Michigan flipping the script this year, but there are decidedly no Chic Harley's on that roster.
“AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE.” Listen, I'm used to a strong bit of delusion coming from the north – let's be real, delusions are all they've got – but this quarantine must have them extra frisky because I have never seen so much blatant detachment from reality as they've shown the past few months.
We've had Josh Gattis saying Michigan "beat ourselves" in a 56-27 home loss to Ohio State, then we saw him tout a bunch of bowl losses to hype Michigan's non-conference scheduling, and now we've got Jim Harbaugh suggesting that the past five years Michigan's been "about as close as you can possibly be" to beating Ohio State.
“It makes us mad. I know people are mad about it, and we’re mad about it, too,” Harbaugh said. “They’re the only team in the Big Ten we haven’t beaten and we’ve gotta beat them. That’s what we have to do. That’s what motivates us. That’s what kicks us into high drive and that’s what we’re about and after every day.”
...
Marcello asked Harbaugh about how close the maize and blue are in that regard to getting to the promised land, and Harbaugh noted that they’re close, but still not there yet.
“You can just look back at the last years that we’ve been here, the last five years,” Harbaugh said. “Been about as close as you can possibly be, but you’ve gotta put it over the top.”
That's a mighty creative way to describe two consecutive three-touchdown losses. If he'd consider the outright flaying his poor football team received these past two years "about as close as you can possibly be" to winning, I'm not even sure what to say.
There's a chance Jimmy is still stuck on that one time four years ago that the best Michigan team in two decades almost beat an Ohio State team without an offense (which would be hilariously on-brand for a Michigan Man to be living in the past about a game he actually lost). But even if that's what he's referring to, his team has been moving exponentially in the wrong direction since then, so that's a tough thing to hang your hat on.
At this point, I would honestly respect the hell out of Harbaugh and the entire Michigan staff if they just came out and said "Yeah, at this point we're just competing for second place." I mean, part of good leadership is setting realistic goals, and he's gotta know The Game is just unattainable.
PUTTING THE MLB ON HOLD. Archbold's Kade Kern was planning to play baseball professionally right out of high school, but with COVID-19 condensing the MLB Draft, he'll just have to play for the Buckeyes instead.
Can't say the circumstances are the most ideal for everyone involved, but it's tough to complain when the sports team you love to know just happens to land a commitment from someone talented enough to jump right to the pros.
Welcome aboard, Kade. I'm cool with being your backup plan. It's the only reason I ever went to prom.
“HEY VILMA, YOU SEE THE TROPHY?” It's been almost two decades since Ohio State stuffed Miami's entire football program in a trash can with one single game, and Mike Doss still isn't letting Jonathan Vilma forget.
Mike Doss didn't have to do Jonathan Vilma like that
— ESPN College Football (@ESPNCFB) May 27, 2020
The 2003 @OhioStateFB x @CanesFootball championship game at the @Fiesta_Bowl airs tomorrow on ESPN! pic.twitter.com/vgeV1Aw6h0
"Hey Vilma, you see the trophy?"
For those interested in one of the greatest Buckeye football moments in history, ESPN is airing the 2003 Fiesta Bowl.
The best part is, Miami fans are damn near extinct, so there's nobody even left to complain about their team getting robbed by a correct call in a game that wouldn't have even gone to overtime if instant replay existed.
BRING ON THE BETS. Degenerates rejoice, we're one step closer to legalized sports betting in the Buckeye State – kind of.
After more than a year of legislative hearings, a state bill that would legalize betting on sports in Ohio has taken its first step toward becoming law.
The Ohio House Finance Committee on Wednesday voted to recommend passage of House Bill 194. The bill would put the Ohio Lottery Commission in charge of regulating the system, and would tax betting receipts at 10%, sending net proceeds to education and gambling-addiction programs. Its next step is to head to the full House for approval.
...
If the full House approves HB194, it would then head to the Senate. However, the Senate has its own version of the bill that would put the Ohio Casino Control Commission in charge instead. Gov. Mike DeWine also has said he supports having the casino commission regulate sports betting.
“I think there’s a strong disagreement between the chambers, and I also think the governor is not in favor of through the lottery commission," Senate President Larry Obhof, a Medina Republican, told reporters on Wednesday.
“But we’re happy to take up whatever they send us and take a look at it," he added.
Basically, there's a relative consensus that this is going to happen, it's just a matter of how it's going to be regulated. Until then, everyone will just have to keep rolling with those green dot prepaid cards and/or bitcoin transactions on seedy offshore sites.
Alternatively, just get a local bookie. Love to support small businesses.
NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. The Instagrammer who was stabbed and robbed after posting his lavish lifestyle online... Why a Nova Scotia community is still searching for the killer of a beloved farmer thirty years later... The great koala rescue operation... Pakistani villager urges India to return his 'spy' pigeon... Brothers allowed a black widow to bite them believing they'd turn into Spider-Man... Two men are arrested for smuggling ex-Nissan boss out of Japan in a box...
