Ohio offensive linemen Deontae and Devontae Armstong have committed to Ohio State's class of 2024.
Taking to YouTube to make ridiculous, hyperbolic videos featuring jiggling jowls and reasons why the hometown team is good and the away team is bad is apparently a thing in the South. (We last encountered this phenomenon with the Insane Clemson Fan.)
YouTube user LawTide423 is apparently one of those folks who is no stranger to ranting in front of his webcam. (Trigger warning: Video [and its recap] features football language.)
As you can guess, this guy has a few #takes regarding the Sugar Bowl, and if you suspend belief in reality and take it for its unintentional humor, LawTide423's latest work is a treasure trove of comedy.
It starts out with a montage of past Alabama glory and Nick Saban taking his players boating and then inconspicuously shifts to pudgy white men wearing Alabama clothing.
LawTide423 then makes his entrance, and in a belated gift to us all, he's wearing sunglasses indoors. Some other highlights:
- 1:11 LawTide makes you think right off the bat. On one hand, Ohio State is "Big Ten scrubs," but then on the other, OSU is "the only Big Ten team worth a damn."
- 1:40: TIL: Ohio State lost to Virginia Tech. ("Ain't no BeamerBall going up there at VaTech.")
- 2:18: Glorious bit of analysis with "Alabama does everything it needs to do to win the football games, people."
- 2:40: I wanted to correct LawTide423 in his assertion Ohio State lost the last time it "tried to play SEC football," but then I remembered the 2012 TaxSlayer.com Bowl. (Damn the 2012 TaxSlayer.com Bowl.)
- 3:30-:3:50: A missive against Oklahoma, whose fans told LawTide423 after last year's victory they'd see Alabama in next year's playoffs, but are stuck going to "some shit bowl" now. (I laughed.)
- 3:54: Slanders King Cardale by labeling him a "backup-to-a-backup."
- 4:15: Begs Ohio State to put eight in the box because "we will eat your fucking lunch."
- 4:25: The most cringe-inducing moment: He calls Vonn Bell "uppity" ... for leaving the South to play college football.
- 5:10: "Nobody thought Alabama would be here." (Everybody thought Alabama would be here.)
- 5:28: "No uppity sons of bitches from the Big Ten" are stopping the Alabama juggernaut.
- 5:40: Calls Woody Hayes a "crazy-ass." ("We do our asswhipping on the field, boys! We don't need our coach to do some crazy shit like that." He fails to mention their coach would get crushed like an empty pop can by 100% of FBS players.)
- 6:10: After explaining the Gold Pants trinkets, LawTide423 blasts Terrelle Pryor and "other stupid motherfuckers" for trading them for trading tradition-laden trinkets for "ink on their body."
- 6:45: "All y'all got is a good band."
In the end, this video brought enough crazy to check multiple Tide stereotypes off the list, so I refuse to be upset about it. In fact, I think LawTide423 should get a statue next to Nick Saban.