I ate lunch yesterday at 10:38 a.m. and it changed my life. I encourage you to immediately adapt this lifestyle.
From theonion.com (trigger warning: cussin' ahoy):
CHICAGO—Reasoning that he’s a grown adult who can eat food whenever he damn well pleases, local man Kyle Dunedin, 30, reportedly decided at 10:58 a.m. Wednesday that, fuck it, he was ready for lunch. “Who cares?” Dunedin said before putting on his jacket and leaving his office for a nearby sandwich shop. “It’s almost 11 o’clock, and I’m hungry. Do I give a flying fuck that it’s still morning? No, I do not. I’m getting food right now, and no one can do a goddamn thing to stop me.” According to sources, at 1:35 p.m. Dunedin had determined that, fuck it, if his coworkers were heading out, there was no reason he couldn’t join them and eat lunch again.
I go by Kyle Dunedin now. Shoutout to Mikado Sushi & Hibachi Steak House in Piqua.
- The G.O.A.T. Game Tournament: Bowl Bracket.
- Ryan Day wants J.T. Barrett to be more aggressive when throwing the ball.
- Dwayne Haskins and Joe Burrow preparing like starters.
- OSU's roster broken down by recruiting rankings (spoilers: local team ioaded).
- ESPN to "Megacast" Ohio State–Indiana.
- Construction on Cannon Road will eliminate 2,100 game day parking spots this season.
- Ezekiel Elliott officially files appeal of six-game suspension.
- Help put a life-size statue of Woody Hayes in his hometown of Newcomerstown, Ohio.
Word of the Day: Prevaricate.
WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE. If there's been a single staple of Urban Meyer's offense over the years, it's his love of sending his quarterback sprinting into the teeth of a defense. He does it on any down and in any situation. And this blogger is not arguing, because the results are in the trophy case.
But Kevin Wilson, offensive guru, has never had a runner like J.T. Barrett. It's a fair question to ask if Wilson, a former head coach, would use him in a similar manner.
I asked Meyer the same question on Monday: How does his quarterback run philosophy mesh with Wilson, who has never had a quarterback who's a run threat like Barrett?
"The one thing that makes Kevin -- and really all coaches that are successful -- is when he had those two great running backs at Indiana, both of them are doing well in the NFL, (Tevin) Coleman and the other big guy, (Jordan) Howard, he used them," Meyer said. "And then when he had the drop-back guy and the skill guy, he's very good at identifying personnel, and he's done very good (here)."
So don't expect Barrett to stop running. It bears repeating that as long as it's Meyer's offense, the quarterback run will be featured. Meyer is obsessed with the numbers advantage involved with running the quarterback, and the leverage an offense can gain when the quarterback is as gifted of a ball carrier as Barrett is.
You're damn right Meyer is obsessed with gaining a tactical edge on his enemies. The QB keeper can be lethal—as long as you have threats on the outside to keep a defense honest.
And Ohio State should have those weapons if Zone 6's talk lives up to its play.
OH HE'LL YEAH... TRADEMARK NEWS, BABY. The Ohio State Fan Experience Industrial Complex is looking to monetize "the 10th Unit," a catch phrase Meyer has attached to fans in a couple of tweets back in November.
The Columbus Blue Jackets have the fifth line. The Seattle Seahawksclaim the 12th man.
Now, Ohio State University wants its own official name for its fanatical football fanbase.
The university filed a trademark for “10th unit,” the name Coach Urban Meyer christened fans in an attempt to pump them up before big games.
The older I get, the harder I roll my eyes at merchandise like this. I don't attend games anymore (the tax I pay to provide local fans with the #content they love to know), but when I did my raggedy t-shirt, my Ohio tattoo, and two to 26 cans of illicit FourLoko were all I needed as my last will and testament.
But hardworking people spend millions of dollars on that kind of stuff every year. It's wild. But those people would probably think it's wilder I have readers outside my cat herd. Touché, them.
ALL RISE FOR THE BEST DAMN BAND IN THE LAND. The rumors are true: Football season is just over them yonder hills. But don't forget those thumping war drums belong to the Best Damn Band in the Land.
Its season opened Tuesday:
It's a shame a cabal decided to feature less of TBDBITL and more pop music pumped through the PA system. Bands are one of the greatest advantages CFB has over the NFL.
A MAN HAS NO NAME. Former Ohio State commit Kareem Felder resurfaced at Rutgers this season... under the name Tre Avery.
And no, unlike most people that move to New Jersey under an assumed alias, he's not apart of the witness protection program.
By the time that Tre Avery makes his Rutgers debut in 2018, it will be three years, two schools and one name change after he committed to Ohio State in May 2015.
As Felder, he was ranked as a three-star recruit and the No. 29 recruit in Maryland by RIvals.com in the class of 2016. Because of a close relationship with his mother, he wanted to change his last name.
"I was in high school and I wanted to change my name to my mom's (last) name," Avery said. "I changed my first and last name. My mom chose (Tre) for me. She was going to name me that when I was first born."
Can't hate on or following Ash from Ohio State to Rutgers. The Knights are trending in the right direction but unfortunately they're still in the same division as the Buckeyes, Nittany Lions, and bootleg badgers.
DEAN READY FOR ROUND 2. Speaking of former Buckeye commits, Auburn cornerback Jamel Dean is back in the hunt for a starting job this fall.
At 6-foot-2 and 215 pounds, the sophomore from Cocoa, Fla., is much larger than the average cornerback. Dean knows that whenever he steps onto the field, opposing offenses have to adjust to his “aggressive” style and imposing size.
“It’s a real advantage for me, because receivers don’t really go against corners my size,” Dean said Tuesday night after Auburn’s 12th day of fall camp. “Going against me, it makes things much harder, because you’ve got to change the way you release.”
Dean is 18 days away from affecting opposing receivers for the first time in a college game. After he wasn’t cleared to play at Ohio State in 2015, he transferred to Auburn and sat out the fall. Last year, he was on track to start at cornerback before suffering a knee injury that cost him the entire 2016 season.
Would be cool to see Dean rebound from two catastrophic knee injuries and raise some hell in the SEC West. Once a Buckeye, always a Buckeye. That applies to a Heisman career or two practices.
THOSE WMDs. "Body brokers" get kickbacks to lure people with addictions to bad rehab... Cracking the airlines' dress code... Saudi Arabia's missing princes... When you're "old" in tech... She thought she was Irish — until a DNA test opened a 100-year-old mystery.