Put my Rudy review into the streets yesterday. People seemed to like it overall, but I'm already afraid of the psychological effects rendered. In the words of DJ Khaled, I played myself.
Rudy Ruettiger stalks my mind. A Heisman House commercial featuring "Rudy!" chants and lead actor Sean Astin—I downgraded Lord of the Rings to "One Marionaire Gun Up" when I realized he played Samwise Gamgee—debuted during the Peach Bowl.
I can't stop thinking about the movie's awfulness, or the litany of petty jabs I forgot on the shelf. (James, a reader, pointed out Ruettiger is a talentless Art Schlichter.)
Yet millions of people enjoyed this movie. Who are these people? Do they live near me? I disavowed a decade-long friendship faster than Creepy Pete got incinerated on Sunday when my dude confessed to liking Rudy.
Your boy needs this W today, folks.
Urban Meyer says his goal is a pissed off team. I got pissed off last night watching the playoffs, and the closest I've come to playing for Ohio State is drinking liquor out of a plastic cup in a parking lot outside the Shoe on game day.
I assume Ohio State, laid up comfortably on New Year's Eve like responsible young adults and in no way engaged in youthful hijinks, felt similar feelings as they watched guys like Dabo Swinney live out their dreams.
Feed those runes into the bowl with ones about Notre Dame's defensive injuries—the Irish are missing its top two CBs and a starting safety—and it adds up to a remix of the 2006 Fiesta Bowl, a game we've all come to know and love.
| TIME (ET) | BOWL | MATCHUP | LOCATION | FAVORITE | TELEVISION |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12:00 | OUTBACK | No. 13 NORTHWESTERN vs. No 23 TENNESSEE | TAMPA, FLORIDA | TENN (-8) | ESPN2 |
| 1:00 | CITRUS | No. 14 MICHIGAN vs. No. 19 FLORIDA | ORLANDO, FLORIDA | UM (-4) | ABC |
| 1:00 | FIESTA | No. 8 NOTRE DAME vs. No. 7 OHIO STATE | GLENDALE, ARIZONA | OSU (-6½) | ESPN |
| 5:00 | ROSE | No. 6 STANFORD vs. No. 8 IOWA | PASADENA, CALIFORNIA | STAN (-6) | ESPN |
| 8:30 | SUGAR | No. 16 OKLAHOMA STATE vs. No. 12 MISSISSIPPI | NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA | MISS (-7½) | ESPN |
Picks: NU, UM, Ohio State, Stanford, and Oklahoma State.
THE IRISH DOSSIER. Here's everything you need to know ahead of today's clash with the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.
- Braxton Miller: The man behind the enigma.
- The Anchor: Taylor Decker will leave OSU as an all-time great. He almost played for Notre Dame
- The Roundtable, featuring Tim, Johnny, and Kevin.
- Q&A with uhnd.com.
- Film Study: Irish passing.
- Brian Rolle talks about the challenges of bowl prep.
- Containing Irish WR Will Fuller will be a big key in defeating Notre Dame.
Not too late to check out our "best of 2015" series either:
- Top 11 photos.
- The best tweets.
- An in memoriam ode.
- Top Buckeye moments.
SO LONG, YEAR OF WARIO. The year of Wario started with the highest of highs that, as highs are wont to do, didn't last for the long haul.
Tyvis Powell, one of the most candid members of the team, spoke on some of this season's struggles.
From buckeyesports.com:
“The way everybody was talking about us, it was, ‘Oh, they’re just the greatest team ever. They’re going to just roll through the schedule.’ We got to the games and we’re not rolling and we ain’t scoring as many points but we’re still winning the game,” junior safety Tyvis Powell said. “There were a couple of complaints about it, like why are these other teams all able to score points against these teams but we can’t? Stuff like that. But at the end of the day we were still winning games so we weren’t down about it. As a defense we knew the offense was going to get it together because we’ve seen them at their best. So we knew all we had to do was keep holding it down.
“We got to Michigan State and we needed both sides of the ball. One day the offense would click and one day the defense would click. That was one game we needed both sides of the ball and it didn’t happen. It was like, ‘Maaaaaaaan.’ I knew it was going to come back to bite us one day, but I didn’t think it would be like this. I didn’t think it would be at the time that we needed it the most. It was a slap to the face.”
This season can only be considered a failure due to expectations placed on it by last year's team. But if Ohio State toasts Notre Dame, then that's what we'll remember.
For example, nobody brings up that 2005 team that scorched Notre Dame, stocked with Troy Smith, Santonio Holmes, Ted Ginn, and Anthony Gonzalez, scored 10 points against Penn State.
CLEMSON MAY WIN IT ALL, HUH? Clemson did the damn thing last night, and it's easy to see why. They carried a Buckeye flag into battle.
Via the sharp eye of Fitzbuck:
OU using the #Buckeyes for inspiration. Good thinking. #GoBucks pic.twitter.com/1FxGJAIiOP
— Ben Smith (@GuyBuckeye) December 31, 2015
The insufferable Dabo Swinney aside, there are worse outcomes than a Clemson championship.
MENSA FOUNDER RUNS MENTAL LAPS AROUND MAN NAMED JIMBO. Tom Herman picked up his 13th win to go with an American Athletic Conference championship yesterday after Houston dumped Florida State, 38-24.
Tell me if this play, via landgrantholyland.com, doesn't bring about flashbacks:
Herman, who is recruiting better than Texas, basically unzipped his pants at his postgame presser:
Tom Herman, CROOTIN w/ Drake lyrics after the Peach Bowl pic.twitter.com/c5kqRSvpvJ
— Robby Kalland (@RKalland) December 31, 2015
What's hilarious is how destined this all seemed.
SKATEBOARDING IS STILL A CRIME. Sorry #teens, the knockoff junk your parents bought for Christmas (isn't tuition good enough, you ungrateful prick?) won't cut it in Ohio State's fancy new dorms.
From thelantern.com:
The Office of Student Life University Housing announced this month it will not permit the use or possession of certain hoverboards in university residence halls.
The limitation pertains to hoverboards and other lithium battery-powered transportation devices, if those devices are not approved by Underwriters Laboratory, a federally-approved safety consultation and certification firm.
The decision to restrict certain hoverboards, which are self-balancing personal transportation devices that don’t actually hover, was made due to fire safety concerns by the university, said Office of Student Life spokesman Dave Isaacs.
Hoverboards, which are devices that don't actually hover; Hoverboards, which are devices that don't actually hover; Hoverboards, which are devices that don't actually hover; Hoverboaradjklasjlkdakjldjkasd. I give up.
#BeatNotreDame
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