Friday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on November 27, 2015 at 4:59 am
J.T. Barrett hits a lick.

A little over 24 hours until The Game. It's bizarre being anxious.

This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS are herby moved to Saturday at 4:59 a.m. 

 TABLES TURNED? Some #teens living among us don't remember the 1990s. I do. Everything was good except Ohio State football vs. Michigan. The Cooper years don't haunt me, but like I said, I empathize with the pain when survivors speak. 

Jim Tressel saved us from that era, and he Senatorially guaranteed victory before doing so. Then took the heroin highway into Satan's Mitten and drove a stake through the heart of everything fake and wrong about this world.

Is this Michigan's turn at bat?


Many, many other things besides the 2001 game have gone into OSU winning 12 of its last 14 games against its rival.

But 2001 was a first step. And now, the cleats are on the other feet. Michigan has brought Jim Harbaugh in as its coach to restore the football program to the level expected in Ann Arbor.

A younger Harbaugh guaranteed a Michigan win in 1986 and delivered when he was the Wolverines’ quarterback. He has made no promises this year and if he knew how many days until the Ohio State game on the day he was hired, he didn’t share it.

But if Harbaugh and Michigan can win on Saturday, it will change the rivalry.

Crazy how a loss changes things, but I think Ohio State's chances of winning The Game went up after the loss to Michigan State.

Our beloved Bucks played like a family man with a lcareer to lose against Michigan State at the Shoe... even if they warded off the juggalo home invasion, it's not a great offensive trajectory for a road trip a week later into meth country.

The only way Michigan is putting a mark on my soul is if they demolish Ohio State in all facets of the game.

If Ohio State loses a "street fight" (as Urban loves to say), then whatever. It will suck but the world will continue to spin.

It's not like Michigan's season ends with Jim Harbaugh unzipping his human skin, showing his final form and taking a College Football Playoff Trophy back to his home planet for an element analysis that'll be used as a blueprint for an impending invasion.

That is the only way this thing of ours turns on a dime. It's an "alright then" and a "see you scrubs next year in Columbus" if it's anything less than an outright embarrassment. 

Riddle me this: What's Michigan's best win? A loss, right? Makes you think.

What's Ohio State's bes—hold on, y'all, my subpar and overpriced TimeWarner WiFi is breakin.>.~~~j

 MALIGNED O-LINE DOING FINE. Some word peddlers will tell you disarray reigns in Ohio State's locker room. 

The clattering class raised an eyebrow to Mike Weber's opaque #teen tweet, but where was the lamestream media on Matthew Burrell's Thanksgiving tweet? The silence was deafening.

Urban Meyer says Ohio State is an offensive line-driven program. The Slobs got bullied up front last week, and I'm sure Michigan's defensive line thinks it smells blood in the water.

We'll see on Saturday, but if the coaching staff doesn't trust the passing game—and there's no evidence to suggest they do—then I say they throw the gauntlet in the sand and hit them with the Ezekiel Elliott battering ram.

If Michigan's defense can weather that storm for four quarters then touché. I'd rather die trying to play to my strength than any other way.

 R.I.P. AUSTIN SINGLETARY. Sad news to pass along regarding the Mirror Lake death of third-year student Austin Singletary.


The Franklin County coroner tentatively has determined that Singletary, 22, who was found underwater at the lake about 12:20 a.m. on Wednesday, died of a broken neck. 

The autopsy, which was done today, revealed a fracture of the C-5 vertebra, which would lead to paralysis of the arms, legs and diaphragm, causing death, said Coroner Anahi Ortiz. She said the injury was consistent with him hitting his head on something hard, such as the bottom of the lake or a rock.

Even more tragic: Singletary was reportedly beloved by all who knew him. 

Though Ohio State tried its best to wash its hands of the event, I hope it makes sure Singletary's name is never forgotten by the OSU community.

 KURT COLEMAN RUINS COWBOY THANKSGIVING. I don't write about it often, but I'm a diehard/lifetime Carolina Panthers fan. (My dad bought me a Jake Delhomme jersey as a kid! Also, I liked teal.) In fact, some say I'm the No. 1 Panthers fan.

As a lifelong/diehard Panthers fan (11-0, baby! They gotta respect us now!) you can imagine the delight when my football words collided when Kurt Coleman almost single-handedly ruined Cowboy Thanksgiving.

Mmmm. Delicious. The best part is that wasn't Coleman's best highlight of the day.

All in all, that's not a bad day at the office for any player. But it was especially sweet for the former Buckeye safety:

Incentive bonuses sound clutch. Let me call my agent real quick.

 #BEATMICHIGANMEMORIES. It had to be this one today, didn't it?

From 2001, via our good pal Vico, who I know IRL:

A storm is brewing down in Columbus. Michigan just doesn't know it yet.

 THOSE WMDs. Your Thanksgiving went better than Eagles fans'... How to trap gators and influence people... Holiday at the dictator's guesthouse... Jackie Sherrill: motivational guru

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