Ladies and gentlemen, our way of life is under attack.
College Football Saturdays are being encroached upon like in no other time in our nation’s proud history. Our children, whose weekend activities have increased in both cost and time consumption by over 3000% since the century began [Data: On File] routinely have Saturday events scheduled throughout football season.
Babies are good. Fall Saturdays are good. #coexist
It's unconscionable. You’re forced to cheer and watch a bunch of sleepy 3rd graders playing herdball disguised as soccer, or attend an all-day swim meet on our holy day. If you check your phone for scores or try to opt out of going to the park just once, you're branded a bad parent.
But you're not. You're just conflicted between two things you love to love.
It's not just your own school-aged children who wreak havoc on your football plans, though. This attack on our Saturdays comes from anyone and everywhere. Age is irrelevant.
One-year olds, none of whom will ever have lucid memories of their first birthday party have all seemingly colluded to plan their precious attention whoring festivals for fall Saturdays regardless of their birth month. You may find yourself invited to a one-year old's birthday party every Saturday this fall, and they all progress in the same exact fashion:
- Parents make small talk with each other, about work or parenting.
- Baby receives gifts; enjoys wrapping paper more.
- Mom subtly pockets gift receipts.
- Baby mashes moist cake into face for the first time.
- Baby defecates cake directly into diaper.
Haha. You missed another game for that. Who's laughing now? (the baby, because farts tickle)
It doesn't even matter if you're childless or lack friends with kids; you’re just as vulnerable. Oppressive chores, mundane homework and familial conflicts are just some of the obstacles parents place between you and watching college football on the precious few Saturdays when it’s available. Some parents just don't understand.
There are many reasons for The Saturday Project.
And if you’re living single under your own roof you’re now acutely aware of your "friends" who are "huge fans" and still choose to get married on College Football Saturdays, as if to say sure, it’s a game you’re looking forward to and possibly planning to attend; what we’re suggesting is you should sell your tickets and buy us these $150 matching towels instead.
Friends, what if I told you there was a way to erase the shame that comes with being distracted by college football games during a Christening, a dry wedding reception, a piano recital or any other hardship that stands between you and what you love?
What if there was a virtuous way to transform the very same adversaries who trample your dignity and try to pry you away from College Football Saturdays into allies who support you, both emotionally and financially?
There is. I'm pleased to introduce The Saturday Project.
TSP is a fundraising initiative that preserves your ability to consume and enjoy College Football Saturdays while benefiting a worthy charity. Here's how it works:
1. Choose 25 games (all of your favorite team's regular season games, plus 13 others - so, like, 2 games for every Saturday. This may already seem normal for you, if not light).
Since this is Eleven Warriors we've completed this exercise with Ohio State's schedule:
| Date | Time (ET) | Matchup | broadcast |
|---|---|---|---|
| Aug 26 | 10PM | Cal vs. Hawai'i @ Sydney | TBD |
| SEPT 3 | 12pm | Ohio State vs. Bowling Green | BTN |
| SEPT 3 | 3:30pm | LSU vs. Wisconsin @ Lambeau | ABC |
| SEPT 10 | 3:30pm | Ohio State vs. Tulsa | ABC |
| Sept 10 | 8pm | Tennessee vs. Va. Tech @ Bristol | ABC |
| Sept 17 | 3:30pm | Alabama at Ole Miss | CBS |
| Sept 17 | 7:30pm | Ohio State at Oklahoma | Fox |
| Sept 24 | TBD | Penn State at Michigan | TBD |
| Sept 24 | TBD | Wisconsin at Michigan State | TBD |
| Oct 1 | 12pm | Ohio State vs. Rutgers | TBD |
| Oct 1 | TBD | Tennessee at Georgia | TBD |
| Oct 8 | TBD | Ohio State vs. Indiana | TBD |
| Oct 8 | TBD | Florida State at Miami | TBD |
| Oct 15 | 3:30pm | Nebraska at Indiana | TBD |
| OCT 15 | 8pm | Ohio State at Wisconsin | ABC/ESPN/2 |
| OCT 22 | TBD | Utah at UCLA | TBD |
| OCT 22 | 8pm | Ohio State at Penn State | ABC/ESPN/2 |
| OCT 29 | TBD | Baylor at Texas | TBD |
| OCT 29 | 5:30pm | Ohio State vs. Northwestern | ABC/ESPN/2 |
| Nov 5 | TBD | Oregon at Southern Cal | TBD |
| Nov 5 | 8pm | Ohio State vs. Nebraska | ABC/ESPN/2 |
| Nov 12 | TBD | Pittsburgh at Clemson | TBD |
| Nov 12 | TBD | Ohio State at Maryland | TBD |
| Nov 19 | TBD | Oklahoma State at TCU | TBD |
| NOV 19 | TBD/3:30? | Ohio State at Michigan State | TBD |
| Nov 26 | 12pm? | Ohio State vs. Michigan | TBD |
| NOV 26 | 3:30pm- | RIVALRY WILDCARD | TBD |
That's 27 games. We must commit to 25 of them. Variety and kickoff time diversity were prioritized.
You can come up with your own slate, but this is a workable example. Ideally, it's two per Saturday with different start times. This is currently difficult with so many TBDs on the horizon, so as corporate slugs are fond of saying - what you see above is a working document. It may change when networks make up their minds.
But this is a real commitment. That's why we're streaming the game at your wedding reception, stunning bride. It's not disrespectful. We made a commitment to do this for charity. Hey, would you two like to donate?
Fall Wedding receptions and charity, living together. via
2. Tell your friends and family and ask if they'd be willing to sponsor you for $1 per game.
It's just like every other endurance-based fundraiser (walking a 5K, golfing 100 holes, dining at restaurants where a percentage of the check is donated, etc) or any one of a number of acceptable vehicles people have used for years to raise awareness and/or dollars for causes.
Except this one takes three months' worth of Saturdays. You can direct interested parties to the charity's Facebook page, @FallSaturdaysMatter. And you can let your sponsors know exactly which 25 games you'll be committing to this season.
3. You're asking for $25, 100% of which goes to charity. In return: Your dedication.
That's the starting pledge, and you're just as committed to watching all 25 games as you would be to finishing that charity 5K. Maybe your friends and family would like to donate more per game. Perhaps you're motivated enough to commit to more than 25.
For this first go-around in 2016, every cent of every donation all will benefit The Movember Foundation, which 11W has worked with for several years and benefits men's health initiatives.
Whenever you watch a game on your list, consider Tweeting, Snapping, Facebooking, Instagraming, emailing, blogging, carrier pigeoning, whatever social media you choose - a short blurb about what you're doing or even photo of yourself working for charity (from your couch, your seat at the stadium or in the back row of the Synagogue) with the hashtag #TheSaturdayProject.
You can donate your pledges directly to The Saturday Project's Movember page as you receive them, or all at once at the conclusion of College Football's regular season at the end of November, which is Movember's biggest fundraising month.
The Saturday Project is still in its infancy and will evolve - I'd love to see it gain 501(c)(3) status and segment different charities by month, e.g. Girls on the Run in September, NCADV for October and Movember each November - but we need to start somewhere. We need to start with the idea that watching college football games on fall Saturdays isn't selfish, self-indulgent or antisocial.
It can be selfless. And important to more than just those of us watching. Please consider participating in The Saturday Project. You can make a difference.
