Fall Weddings: Zero Tolerance

By Ramzy Nasrallah on July 23, 2014 at 1:00p
Oh that's just adorabTHE FUCKING GAME IS ON

Center of attention.

177 Comments

It began with some unfortunate news I received last week:

Their beginning was as undignified as their end. We'll skip over the humiliating separation details and instead focus on their abhorrent November wedding date.

The now freshly-single groom (still a friend of mine) also attended Ohio State. Their wedding was in Florida on Nov 20, 2004. I heard it was nice, via texts from attendees begging for Ohio State-Michigan updates while in disbelief over what the mediocre Buckeyes were doing to the Big Ten champions.

He had extended me an invitation. That exchange went like this:

I'd like you to come but it's the weekend of The Game. It's actually during The Game. I can't sugarcoat it. She's always wanted a fall wedding and the Buckeyes are going to be rebuilding this year so I figured it was worth a shot.

We were sitting at a bar in Chicago watching a Blackhawks game. I never gave him a verbal response. I just looked at him silently with a closed-lipped half-smile intended to communicate why would you do this. Why.

He bailed me out, we laughed and never spoke of it again. There was no guilt-tripping in either direction. The bachelor party was terrific.

I didn't bring it up last week when he informed me that lawyers had completed their billable work in making his disintegrated union official, because friends don't commit taunting penalties against friends when they're hurting.

Don't get married on Saturdays in fall. It's a simple social mandate with no what-ifs.

But almost immediately after I posted the tweet above my mentions began filling up with excuses to get married on a College Football Saturday. Evidently there are people who believe an Ohio State bye week is the same as baseball's All-Star break when the entire sport shuts down. That's...no. No.

Don't get married on Saturdays in fall. It's a simple social mandate with no what-ifs. This isn't the plea of a radical, selfish fan; it's practical advice that supports everyone's best interest in superior parts of America where college football matters more than it should.

Eleven Warriors has published numerous stories bemoaning football season weddings, as have slightly less-influential media outlets like CNN and the New York Times, all very recently.

Regardless of all this negative media coverage football season weddings have received, there still seems to be some confusion around what's appropriate. Therefore this refresher is warranted.


THERE ARE NO BYE WEEKS

Football season does not contain an intermission. 

Every week while you watch the Buckeyes there are literally dozens of other games being played at the same time. Football doesn't abruptly stop when the Buckeyes have a week off. That's like holding your breath and being declared dead because you're temporarily not breathing.

Bye weeks are also unpredictable. Look at this wedding misery:

This could be you, Bye Week Wedding Enthusiasts. September 6 was an Ohio State bye week only a few months ago. Operative word: Was.

Then ESPN approached OSU and Virginia Tech about rescheduling their game from the 20th to accommodate a night game opening it had, and voila - the best non-conference home game in four years now coincides with countless previously scheduled bye week weddings.

Sure, that doesn't happen all the time - but it's happened before and it will happen again:

Don't play Battleship against an uncertain future schedule with your wedding date. You and your sweetie deserve better. Besides, Ohio State having a week off has zero impact on the dozens of other televised stadium celebrations happening across the country. Don't declare any Saturday dead just because the Buckeyes are briefly holding their breath.

This is what that narrow view of the world looks like through an empty scarlet and gray toilet paper roll:

It's just like a dream: Marrying the love of your life in front of your most favorite Buckeyes in the world - who aren't even looking at you because holy shit Appalachian State is beating Michigan in Ann Arbor. (I "watched" this unfold on my phone in 2007 with 200 other Buckeyes also distracted from the altar as the news spread like a virus). 

You just don't know what that Saturday will bring. College football is as exhilarating as it is unpredictable. You can mitigate that risk by avoiding it entirely.

Not quite as perfect as any of the previous 35 weekends, but who uses a 12-month calendar anymore.

Well, then it wouldn't be during football season. If it is, that means the happy couple is openly ridiculing your loyalty. 

Which brings me to this thing which actually happened:

They had wedding gifts for everyone too: Homemade CDs of their favorite songs about Ohio. The Buckeyes beat Michigan State 45-7 in East Lansing that afternoon as the bride danced with her father to Oh Hey Look the Game is on in the Other Ballroom Across the Hall.

I'm attending a Friday wedding this September in New Jersey where two Scarlet Knights are exchanging vows. Their Saturday plan is to celebrate with everyone in town by going to the Rutgers/Tulane game.

They're huge Rutgers homers and it's a charming idea, but now you know why I'll be late to this year's Eleven Dubgate. [Spoiler: Skipping Tulane game; hopping on earliest available flight to CMH]

Friday wedding dates may not bite immediately, but they'll catch up with you eventually. This is a feature built into the Gregorian calendar we all still use today:

Your anniversary will eventually fall on a crucial, important College Football Saturday - perhaps the following year, Leap-depending. And you'll envision decades of your spouse being cool with whatever whimsical football plans you have for those Saturdays, because this is the delusion to which all newly-married people subscribe. That's part of what makes newlyweds so damn adorable.

Fifty-two beautiful Saturdays every year: Set aside 15 and then choose from the remaining 37. Try not to overthink it.


OHIO STATE WASN'T PLAYING A GOOD TEAM THAT DAY

Forget about the fact that Illinois has left Ohio Stadium as victors in three of its past six visits: You're asking fellow Buckeyes to alter their plans for something you could have done on dozens of other Saturdays. Oh you have game tickets? Eh, it's only Illinois. Hey, buy us a present from this list instead.

You know when your guests are guaranteed to not have football tickets? Of course you do. 

Guests forced to cancel plans due to game day weddings: If you want to win a medal for passive-aggressiveness, make your wasted tickets your gift to the happy couple. (But buy them something too - that's how you make it passive-aggressive instead of totally dickish).

This is what Indiana "hosting" Ohio State looks like:

Look at all that red

Those aren't Hoosiers. Mostly.

Conversely, this is what Indiana hosting not-Ohio State generally looks like:

fireworks

Ohio State hasn't played a road game in Bloomington in over 40 years. Also: It doesn't matter who's playing that Saturday.

Many of you fall wedding people have made it this far into the column and are starting to feel hostile and defensive: Well, we got married the day of the Northwestern game and it turned out great and everyone loved it! 

It's hard to be objective about your own wedding day. Additionally, everyone told you how great it was because it was your wedding day and that's what people generally do. Also, your baby is adorable. Best-looking baby ever. Everyone's favorite baby.

Nope, nothing cool ever happens when Purdue plays at Ohio State.

That FAMU game date was originally supposed to be against Buffalo, which was moved to the beginning of the month to cover Vanderbilt pulling out, and then San Diego State was added. It very easily could have been this year's Virginia Tech situation all over again.

It sounds complicated - but it's not. Avoid football season. That's simple.


WE PLANNED IT AROUND THE KICKOFF TIME

Your brain is working too fast. Slow it down. Actually sit down, take a deep breath and say this aloud to yourself: We planned our wedding around kickoff, because we knew interrupting a college football game - for one of the biggest days of our lives - would upset a lot of people.

Don't do that. It's your wedding day. You're going to have enough stress to deal with without having to also worry about delicately hopping around football land mines.

[old man voice]

Grandkids, my memory might be failing but I'll never forget the day I married your grandmother. Robert Reynolds choked Jim Sorgi on national television. Ohio State's 19-game winning streak ended at Wisconsin. What a wonderful and shitty day that was.

[/old man voice]

Sometimes bad things happen to your team. When you get married during those bad things, they get to share your anniversary with you forever.

NERO FIDDLED WHILE OHIO BURNED

Well well, Don Fouts. That was a bad call. Bad call. 

Regarding that 2004 Ohio State-Michigan game I attended in lieu of my celebrating my buddy's now-severed marriage in Florida:

That was a great day. It could have very easily also been Noon kick. Buckeyes lose to Michigan. 6pm wedding, everyone already drunk and somber. #losing


MEET SOME MARTYRS

I missed both of Ohio State's games with Texas in 2005 and 2006 due to two of those weddings you just aren't allowed to skip. Selling those tickets was fun.

Don't get married during football season because untold dozens of people you care about will quietly resent you. Yes they will. 


ROLE MODELS

The only bride who would ever agree to this flies around in Wonder Woman's plane, lactates bourbon and defecates solid gold coins.

Which makes this an impossible scenario, but kind of fun in theory: You may kiss the bride with 105,000 people cheering you on, and then you ride out through the North End Zone on his-and-her unicorns to live happily ever after. Buckeyes win.

Jane went to Michigan so she's very good with numbers: It's 365 minus a double-digit number. Plenty of lovely nuptial options within those hundreds of days.

These guys get it.

That's absolutely gorgeous and adorable and no one could ever suggest otherwise.

The People's Rabbi. God's on her side. Think about that.

Allison Wiley, everybody. Gentlemen, swipe right.

Hopefully this has been helpful. If you're getting married this season and you've paid non-refundable deposits already...well, don't let your kids repeat your mistake. You have made silent enemies for life. Like my now-single buddy told me all those years ago during that Blackhawks game: There's no good way to sugarcoat this.

But if there's still time to make changes...think about it. For you. For her. For him. For us.

177 Comments

Comments

Buckataltitude's picture

My wife loves the fall and Buckeye football. So, needless to say we married on a Friday night and had a big tailgate party on Saturday and watched the game.

I am a lucky man.

Oh and sadly I have weddings on back to back Saturdays this year.....VT and Kent State....Darn IT!

+2 HS
jbcuky's picture

~ the guy who didn't think through the anniversary problem in subsequent years.

+6 HS
Buckataltitude's picture

You mean me?

If so, then trust me, my wife and I look forward to our anniversary. All day of college football and turning off our phones. Ours fell on game day last year and we completely shut ourselves in and did not talk to a single person, just watched football. It was glorious.

+6 HS
Buckeye1004's picture

Nod to the wife! She's a keeper!  You are a lucky man!

+3 HS
Buckataltitude's picture

I know this...Thanks!

RunEddieRun1983's picture

I am a testament to this, I swear fellow buckeye fans.  I was married on 10/17/09, a Saturday... On that date the Terrelle Pryor led buckeyes lost to Purdue...  My divorce will be final by the year's end...  Let me be your lesson.

I don't always downvote, but I do always downvote a Michigan fan trolling the Buckeye boards.

+16 HS
Buckeye Knight's picture

So that was YOUR fault!!!

Buckeye in a Bobcat world's picture

Me too..... Not the second part though. I watched the entire game by myself as the rest of the family was getting ready etc. I was crushed. My feelings toward Purdue were always meh, but I developed a strong hate for Purdue ever since. Got tickets for the next season as an anniversary gift as a revenge game for both the team and myself. That helped... But I will never heal.

psibuck's picture

I was at this game and was openly mocked by Purdue "fans."  Thanks a lot, RunEddieRun1983.  If that's even your real name...

Buckeye Knight's picture

I'd like to add that kids' sporting events should not be allowed after 11AM on fall Saturdays, especially soccer.  Carry on.

+21 HS
psibuck's picture

This will be the first year that I encounter this scheduling conflict.  Youth soccer games on Saturday mornings.  The games are at 9:30 and 10:30.  I should be able to make it home in time even for the noon snoozers. 

Oyster's picture

Simple solution.  Don't get married.  As they say, why buy the cow when the milk is free...

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+10 HS
causeicouldntgo43's picture

But beware of tainted milk....

+9 HS
Oyster's picture

Get a new cow...

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+2 HS
Buckeye Knight's picture

One that makes chocolate milk!

+2 HS
jpbuckeye's picture

...or one that lactates bourbon and defecates gold coins.

That is one of several hilarious parts in an article that is 100% funny. Thanks Ramzy!

+1 HS
Fatpants's picture

This seems like such a basic concept but yet so many don't get it. Aside from screwing all your guests out of being able to watch the game, your anniversary becomes a roulette wheel where every few years it's going to land on a Saturday.

Seriously kids, don't cede too much ground at once to your lady. The battle to reclaim it is ugly.

+5 HS
dja.ohio's picture

I was married the first time on Nov. 11, 1995. That was the day Eddie George ran for 314 against the Illini.

Divorce followed 5 years later.

+10 HS
charles's picture

Sorta related - my in laws have claimed the Saturday after Thanksgiving as their day for Thanksgiving.  This was all well and good pre-2010 when the season was 1 week shorter on the calendar.  FML.

"Oh don't worry, we'll have it on pause and we can watch it that way."  Thats nice....until i start getting update texts.

+2 HS
ziplock007's picture

I must admit I picked the PERFECT OSU Saturday to get married

September 17th, 2011, When Joe Bauserman and Luke Fickell led hapless OSU into Coral Gables to face UM (of Florida).

This game was so awful, the game where they only had 13 passing yards in the first 59 minutes.  The game where we said, "2011 is going to be an awfully long, painful season'

http://espn.go.com/ncf/recap?id=312602390

If you're going to get married on an OSU game, build a time machine, and choose Sept 17, 2011

-3 HS
RedStorm45's picture

No.  You still fail.

+4 HS
cronimi's picture

I must admit I picked the PERFECT OSU Saturday to get married

There is no such thing -- did you not read the article??!!?

+3 HS
Todd-Not Boeckmann's picture

Down vote for lack of reading comprehension

On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.

+1 HS
BuddhaBuck's picture

Swiped.

Don't text while driving.

+8 HS
Norwalk's picture

I was married on October 16th 1993. The reception started at 3:00, kickoff against MSU was at 3:30. We had an open bar, 3 screens with the game on, and garlic sausage as on of the entree options. Ohio State won and I am still happily married (I think my wife is too).

MackRM408's picture

My brother is getting married the day of the Maryland game. She has a PhD from Ohio State, he has a Masters from OSU, and I have a Bachelors from OSU. He grew up a Michigan fan and SWITCHED to being an OSU fan after going to school there. I have never accepted him as a true fan and he only confirmed his non fandom when he told me his date. 

+8 HS
Oyster's picture

Maybe he is adopted?

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+5 HS
bethmowins's picture

I have a wedding for the Navy game that I'm not going to. Cousin is getting married during the KSU game which is probably the most acceptable of the schedule. I have to go to that one.

+1 HS
acBuckeye's picture

You should spare us all and go ahead and attend that wedding during the Navy game, Beth.

+12 HS
DaytonBuck1980's picture

This is the absolute greatest and most relevant article ever posted to 11w. The fact that ramzy even had to spell it out so fabulously is a damn shame. This should go without saying. You are no friend of mine if you invite me to a fall wedding and I am insulted that you would even ask. 

Still not giving a damn for the whole state of Michigan. 

+10 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

This is the absolute greatest and most relevant article ever posted to 11w. 

I'll go further and say that this post by Ramzy might be one of the most important works of literature ever written in human history.

+8 HS
Illibuck11's picture

Another lesson to learn: COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS ALWAYS CHANGING!!

My wife and I were married December 3, 2010.  She wanted to get married in November over Thanksgiving weekend.  I promptly squashed those ideas as the date fell on The Game.  We pushed it back one more week with my thoughts that The Game would always be the last game of the year for the Buckeyes falling either the Saturday before Thanksgiving or the Saturday after.  Then 3 months after we were engaged, Jim Delany announced Nebraska was joining the Big 10 and a championship game would be added to the end of the season.  Too bad our date was already set in stone by then.  Now my wife wants to take an anniversary trip this year which would coincide with the Big 10 championship game in the inaugural year of the the college football playoffs with my Buckeyes a legitimate contender.  FAIL.

+1 HS
Oyster's picture

I have heard great things about Indianapolis as a vacation destination.

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+13 HS
BucksfanXC's picture

You need to sell this hard, seriously. There is a lot of fun things to do in downtown Indianapolis. Get some brochures, find some hotels and price it all out. Broad Ripple is a fun bar and restaurant filled area. They have museums, aquarium, zoo, etc. You can still make this happen buddy, I believe in you!

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

+4 HS
Idaho Helga's picture

Indy a vacation destination in December?  Um, not so much but I wish you luck.
 

-1 HS
RodVedder4's picture

I think you missed the point...

Excellence and greatness will be remembered...there is no room for average. None. - Urban Meyer

+1 HS
Keith Byars is the man's picture

Sorry to say but we messed up the date for our wedding and got married on the day of the game. November 21, 1998. Preacher gave score updates during wedding. We played buckeye marching band music, had tv's for reception instead of music. Watched the whole 2nd half with family and friends. This was one of coop' s few wins vs that team up north. Became a big joke and still is. Everyone still says we need to renew that day since we won. We get credit for coop's win from many. 

Nothing is Impossible!!!

+1 HS
UrbanDreamz's picture

Does this only apply to fall weddings?  I have a friend who got married on 1/3/2003. 

"Twelve months ago on Jan. 9, my mom's birthday, I made the decision to come back. I had one goal in mind and that was to win a national championship."  ~Mike Doss

+3 HS
Phillips.449's picture

It does!  My friend was 1/4 2003, but I was in the wedding and the rehearsal dinner was on Friday the 3rd. I will never forgive them for that.  While we got to watch the game, I had to pass up SEVERAL options to GO TO THE GAME!  I remember them telling us about the wedding date vividly that summer.  They literally said "The only issue we will have is if OSU goes to the National Championship".  I have been angry about this ever since.

+3 HS
Haubtimus Prime's picture

Is this person REALLY a friend then? 

+1 HS
J.Mo's picture

I get pissed off when there is a wedding the same day as a Spring Game.

+4 HS
charles's picture

Do you actually go to the Spring Game as some sort of "every year with the family" kind of thing?  Then I understand.  

If not, and you just want to watch it live on TV....well, your level of fandom is beyond my comprehension.

-1 HS
luckynutz's picture

Cant speak for him/her, but I attend the spring game every year with my brother. Its the one day a year I know for a fact that we will be able to hang out, drink a couple beers and talk football. Which is pretty damn important the older we get. We have already talked about taking our daughters along in the near distant future. Its nice to have that written in every year because our planned yearly road game trip has been derailed ths past few by births, work and other commitments. That Saturday in April is our yearly bonding trip. Complete with buckeye football.

+1 HS
UFest57's picture

I was in a wedding for the 2012 Purdue game. We listened to the game on my phone while getting ready. I thought we had lost the game as we were walking down the aisle. I stood in front of my buddies family and friends trying to act happy when inside I was so mad that we had just lost to Purdue. THANK GOD for the smooth smooth jazz of KennyG. I went right to my phone after the ceremony and shouted for joy and spread the word of the Buckeye's improbable victory. Summer weddings, people. DO them. 

toad1204's picture

Went to a wedding a couple years back when OSU was under-playing to Toledo...  The bride and groom were both big OSU fans but the bride also attended Toledo.  At the reception I mentioned the fact that it's BS for a wedding to be on a gameday, she mentioned Toledo, I mentioned how close it was, she says I know we were watching in the basement, that's why the ceremony was behind. 

I punished them by punishing the bar, and my liver, that evening. 

Another pro-tip:  Don't get married on holiday weekends (Memorial Day Labor Day.) 

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

+1 HS
G_off's picture

I proposed to my gf this past September knowing that she has always dreamed of a Fall wedding. I made it clear that I would not be at any wedding related event/ceremony between the last week of August until mid January. She didn't try to call my bluff and conceded to a date in May. Everything turned out perfectly. It also helped that I told her the colors would be scarlet and gray. (She's from California and didn't quite understand. She is learning quickly though.)

"You can not use logic" -Gary Danielson of CBSec

+5 HS
GoBucksOSU's picture

This is one of the best and truest articles I have ever read.

+3 HS
acBuckeye's picture

My wife and I specifically planned our wedding date for June 26th 10 years ago b/c it's during the sporting dead season. The couple of times I've had to attend a wedding on gameday Saturdays, I've followed play-by-play on the phone and set up a recording on the DVR. This was years ago. Now I can actually WATCH the games on my phone.

Rogabone's picture

There can be successful bye-week weddings, though they are a big gamble. Mine was 10/04/2003 which was Ohio State bye week and the reception was in the entire bottom level of the Brazenhead in Grandview with a plethora of Televisions showing all of the other games and a copious amount of tasty beers on tap.

"Who is that madman?" the new arrival asked St. Peter.

"That's God," St. Peter replied. "But he thinks he's Woody Hayes."

-2 HS
FairfaxBuckeye's picture

I do not attend Fall weddings--no exceptions.

A good friend of mine, who went to Ohio State, asked me to be in his wedding the day of the Ohio State and Purdue game. He was not happy when I declined.  I was sitting in Ohio Stadium, section 14C, watching the Buckeyes win 25-22 during the wedding.  My friend is now divorced.

Last year, my cousin was married on September 14 last year, the day of the game at Cal. She thought it was okay to schedule a wedding during an away game.  She was, of course, wrong.  Some other invitees and I had already made plans to go to the game at Cal. I was sitting in California Memorial Stadium, watching the Buckeyes beat Cal the day of her wedding.

This year some other friends are getting married this Fall. I hope their weddings go well. As for me, I will be in Ohio Stadium watching the Buckeyes play.

+16 HS
chitown buckeye's picture

It is beyond me how people schedule these dates and call themselves football fans. Ramzy hit it on the head. When you say "and everyone loved it" they are lying to you. Everyone has their own CF Saturday rituals and none of them want that messed up. The things I have skipped over the years because it was a weekend in the fall would make you think I'm the worst person in the world. Maybe I am but I did enjoy watching 12 hrs of football all day without having to pretend I was somewhere I wanted to be!

"I'm having a heart attack!"

+6 HS
ChimdiCheckyaselfbeforeyawreckyaself's picture

My desire for a fall wedding stems from my thinking that it will (hopefully) be less-sweaty on my part.  Missing out on other games during a bye week or OSU v FAMU seem better than sweat stains on a tux in the middle of July...

A little is better than nada, sometimes you want the whole enchilada

-6 HS
Oyster's picture

Spring was invented a couple of years ago.  Problem solved.

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+19 HS
ChimdiCheckyaselfbeforeyawreckyaself's picture

haha good call, but spring has been pretty crappy lately..

BY THE WAY - not planning a wedding or anything, just sharing some thoughts.  I am a victim of the VT reschedule this year and am pretty bummed about attending a wedding that day.

A little is better than nada, sometimes you want the whole enchilada

Oyster's picture

Do you feel ok?  You seem a bit pale.  I think you are getting sick.

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+4 HS
chitown buckeye's picture

I would sweat-stain the hell out of that Tux before I would ruin a Saturday in the fall!!!

"I'm having a heart attack!"

+7 HS
Todd-Not Boeckmann's picture

EVER FREAKIN HEAR OF FEBRUARY????????????????

On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.

+1 HS
JBuckeye's picture

This was explicitly stated to my wife...no wedding during Buckeye season.  We got married right before season started.  Wouldn't you know it the little rug rat came 3 weeks early on 11/21/2013 and we'll be celebrating his birthday on Indiana game day, which of course is what my alumni tickets are for.  So we are making the best of it and having a Buckeye's themed 1st birthday party which will include watching the game from my living room. The moral of the story...it's not just weddings, it's births, deaths, national holidays, anything should not be planned or attempted from the end of August until the end of January.

+2 HS
achillesx's picture

I'm getting married on 9/20 this fall. I proposed to her in late September last year on a family trip with some friends. I had already tentatively booked the 9/6 date at the venue before I asked her. When she accepted, she paused and said "Wait...that's during football season. Did you look at the schedule and see if Ohio State has a bye week?" She rolled her eyes and smiled at my response.

We were frantic when ESPN moved the VT game, but somehow the DJ, the photographer, the venue, everyone were all open for the 9/20 date. When I asked the fiance if she wanted to move it, she replied with "Well, I don't want to just have an expensive football party!"

We've already discussed anniversaries - she says that we can celebrate in August. The toughest part for this year, though will be making sure I find a TV in Jamaica so I can catch the Cincinnati game...but I'm sure we'll make it happen.

+1 HS
rihmds80's picture

I have a similar situation. Actually getting married in Jamaica on Sept 20, yes we purposely planned it on the Bye week. Surprisingly we still managed to have 20 people (mostly non-football fans) want to attend our wedding in Jamaica. We won't be coming home till the 29th so I too have to find a tv for the Cincinnati game. My fiancé already knows that Sept 26th is all about the Buckeyes during out honeymoon. Reception is scheduled for Friday Oct 3, we are considering it an early tailgate for the Maryland game Oct 4.

achillesx's picture

Where are you staying in Jamaica? We'll be at one of the Sandals resorts. Maybe we can meet up and catch the game together!

rihmds80's picture

Couples in Negril till the 22nd then at Sandals Royal Plantation in Ocho Rios from the 22-29

achillesx's picture

Ah, very nice! We'll be in Montego Bay - probably half way between the two.

RodVedder4's picture

"Well, I don't want to just have an expensive football party!" <---THIS. Why don't more brides realize this?

My wife is not a huge football fan, but she is a Buckeye fan and knows how sacred these days are. We were married August 2, 2008, knowing full well we'd avoid football season.  Even not being from Columbus, she knew how many of our friends and family members wouldn't show up for a wedding that clashed with a Buckeye game.  

We've missed several fall weddings over the past few years, and feel zero guilt about it.  Knew she was a keeper before that, but that just solidified it!

Excellence and greatness will be remembered...there is no room for average. None. - Urban Meyer

+1 HS
J.Mo's picture

That NYT article needs to do some fact checking. The last paragraph

“I guess that’s why June became the traditional bride’s month,” Keating said. “No significant sporting events.”

Ummm... Stanley Cup finals, NBA Finals? July and early August is when you get married.
And why do so many women want to get married in the fall? There is nothing about the fall that makes it sound like a good wedding time. Unless you're excited about the possibility of gray skies and rain (which is awesome for football).

Acceptable events to miss a game over: funerals (because you can't control that) and birth of your children (because when you're getting busy with the wife in Dec/Jan/Feb/March you're not thinking 9 months from then). I had my first child last September and missed the Cal game.

causeicouldntgo43's picture

What's worse than a Fall Saturday wedding? Fall Saturday funerals, although Will (more meatloaf Ma!) Ferrell from the Wedding Crashers would disagree. It's hard to follow the game on your smartphone and shout for joy when your Wife is tearfully recollecting her Grandpa.  

+3 HS
Tater_Schroeder's picture

So eloquently written. My favorite point:

Your anniversary will eventually fall on a crucial, important College Football Saturday - perhaps the following year, Leap-depending. And you'll envision decades of your spouse being cool with whatever whimsical football plans you have for those Saturdays, because this is the delusion to which all newly-married people subscribe. That's part of what makes newlyweds so damn adorable.

For this reason, I got married on August 4th.  

How Firm Thy Friendship

+2 HS
JKH1232's picture

Nope.  Nothing interesting ever happens against Purdue.

(I'm just going to assume that worked.)

+9 HS
AJBor41's picture

Bigger jerk move: Scheduling a fall Saturday wedding or simply not attending a friend's wedding so you can watch an OSU game on TV?

+1 HS
LoufromOSU's picture

Easily - scheduling the wedding.  Its not a real jerk move as long as you haven't RSVP'd yes and do a no-show.   Send a card with money and all should be forgiven.

"The key to a winning season is focusing on one opponent at a time. Winning one week at a time. Never look back and never look ahead." - Chuck Noll
 

+5 HS
AJBor41's picture

Fair enough, and I'd guess it goes back to how close you are with the friend. Snubbing a friend because you have a game to watch, to me, could be much worse than being coerced into a fall wedding by the fiancée. That said, my anniversary is July 12 and I've been (or will be on 10/11) the best man at two fall weddings, so there wasn't much choice.

+1 HS
Oyster's picture

Yes, there is a choice.  Find new friends!

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

+5 HS
AJBor41's picture

Well, the bye week one this year is my brother. Tough to find a new brother haha.

The first was my college roommate in '08...he got plenty of crap from me, including a portion of the speech dedicated to this very topic.

+1 HS
Phillips.449's picture

You may be doing your friend a favor.  Maybe they are cheap and wanted to pick a time when they knew many of their friends wouldn't show up and rack up the bar bill.

+2 HS
Todd-Not Boeckmann's picture

If you were my friend, it wouldn't be an issue. 

On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.

DaytonBuck1980's picture

Gotta agree with Lou. They knew the deal when they set the date. You watching the game is only rational and should be expected. 

Still not giving a damn for the whole state of Michigan. 

+1 HS
Furious George 27's picture

Unless palm trees change colors, having a "fall" wedding in florida defeats the purpose of calling it a fall wedding...

Yeah, well…that’s just like, your opinion, man.

+8 HS
Otown Buckeye's picture

I was married during the 05 season, Penn State week, which we lost 17-10.  Also, I was married on a Thursday.  I don't mess with sacred days.

"because we couldn't go for three"

+1 HS
BierStube's picture

This is what happens at non football fan weddings.  If this was a "football fan" the wedding would not be during the season and this would never happen ... the flowers would have been caught and spiked appropriately.

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

+2 HS
BucksfanXC's picture

Nailed it. Just when I was about to say, out loud as I read, "But what happens when your Friday Fall Wedding turns into a Saturday Fall Anniversary?"

I got engaged in September, dude's tweet up above was exactly right, too late to get married this fall, too far away to get married next fall, June wedding it is.
 

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

doofenshmirtz's picture

Honestly, don't get married during March Madness either.

+8 HS
shadybuck's picture

This article is internet gold, took everything in me not to mention the michigan state game (17-16 2012) during my speech for my brother that had occurred earlier in the day, somehow (mentioning it to everyone i came in contact with) i managed to make it through the entire day without any knowledge of the game and was able to watch my recording the next day #beattheodds #missedeveryothergamethatday

+1 HS
UrbanDreamz's picture

I'm mostly past the 1st wedding phase in my life.  Birthday parties for the little ones are now the wrecking balls to my Saturdays in the fall.

"Twelve months ago on Jan. 9, my mom's birthday, I made the decision to come back. I had one goal in mind and that was to win a national championship."  ~Mike Doss

+2 HS
Son of Sevenless's picture

Yep. A niece and a nephew who always have their birthday parties the weekend after Thanksgiving, day of the Game. I am the jerk uncle who never has attended the party, and who never will.

+2 HS
osugreg04's picture

Not going to lie, I'm part of the problem.  Married during MSU game in 2004.  Yes, we won, the wedding was great, my wife let me name our dog "buckeye" as a "consolation," but Ramzy is still right.  Ramzy is always right.

+6 HS
kjonesATX's picture

Mine was easy.. Married a football coaches daughter. So if he was going to be walking her down the aisle, we weren't getting married in the fall. Helped that my wife loves college football as much as I do.  Unfortunately some of my friends don't see it the same. Two wedding this fall to attend..

#GoBucks

+2 HS
Todd-Not Boeckmann's picture

Gutless.  Two weddings to miss.

On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.

BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

My first child was born on that day that Ohio State's 19 game win streak ended at Wisconsin... What a wonderful and shitty day that was.

+5 HS
Pavs38's picture

Married on 11/6/2010.. bye week... got lucky I guess

Baby was born 12/4/2013 right after Michigan and right before our 2 game losing streak...  hopefully the baby doesn't keep up with the 0-2 record :(

+1 HS
BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

Don't worry... as I mentioned above, my oldest child was born on that dreaded day when Wisconsin ended the Buckeyes long win streak following the NC season... I thought I would have to sacrifice her at the 50 yard line of the Shoe. Luckily, the Buckeyes have done pretty well since then...

of course, we have 0 national championships since then... so maybe she and I need to make a trip to Columbus...

YTOWNBUCKI's picture

By my last count I've missed four weddings that fell on Buckeye game days.  I don't regret it one bit.  

+5 HS
Todd-Not Boeckmann's picture

If I could, I would down vote the idiot that down voted you!  

On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.

+3 HS
Denny's picture

/whistles, saunters away.

Taquitos.

+12 HS
Denny's picture

deedle-dee!

Taquitos.

+7 HS
brandonbauer87's picture

My wedding is on the bye week, October 11th. Therefore, my anniversary is not October 11th, it's the bye week. 

+9 HS
Baroclinicity's picture

Guilty as charged.  We did the Friday thing before the 2012 MSU game.  

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

+1 HS
J.Mo's picture

I missed the 2011 MSU game for a wedding. I was upset. My wife and I were married earlier that August and this couple, although invited, didn't go to our wedding. I tried to convince my wife we didn't need to go because they didn't go to ours. She made the excuse for them that our wedding was a destination wedding and they had a new born (hence why they were getting married.. too bad it wasn't before the baby) and we couldn't expect them to make it.

In the end we woke up early that fall Saturday in Columbus, tuned into 97.1, and drove up I-71 to Cleveland. Then I watched on the Gamecast updates on the iPhone the inept Jim Bollman offense do nothing during the ceremony. 

I wouldn't talk to this couple if I had missed a memorable game. 

+1 HS
Todd-Not Boeckmann's picture

You messed up during PreCana.  My wife knew to never make THAT decision.  She was free to go....STAG.

On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.

ellspar's picture

My wife and i got married on the Ohio State-Michigan game last year. In order to make it up, we agreed that the kids could have buckeye names. Baby Scarlett is due in 6 weeks :)

+3 HS
ExpatBuckeye's picture

I can't up-vote a man that let his wife bully him into that wedding date.  But if you can get a Scarlett and a Grey - both - I may reconsider!

+1 HS
ellspar's picture

Scarlett is first. If the next one's a boy, it'll be Grayson. I've told my wife if the 2nd is another girl, i'll nickname her "Gracie", regardless of what actual name will be on her birth certificate

+1 HS
ExpatBuckeye's picture

For many years a group of friends had a set fall Saturday schedule -- early morning football league we played in, hit the bar sponsor for breakfast and beer and then head over to the game if it was here or watch the game at the bar.   Then, one of us decided to get married and his wife lost her mind and scheduled on the same day as a home game.  What?!?    We had all decided not to go but our "w.a.g.s" started a campaign of nagging us until we finally relented to get into tuxedos after our game and skip watching the Buckeye game.

As you might imagine, it all ended badly -- for them.  Already fairly grumpy, we showed up at the reception - some fancy top floor restaurant - only to find out it was a cash bar.  What!?!  Some of the ... boys ... weren't about to pay $5 for a Bud Light so before you knew it they had brown-bagged it.  One of them got caught by the restaurant manager and refused to give up his 40oz and a ruckus ensued.  We all either got kicked out or left mad.  Not sure what happened to the rest of the reception but I heard tears were involved.  The only good news was we caught the 2nd half on TV!  

Hopefully that will serve as an object lesson to all the best-intentioned brides and mom-in-laws out there - check the Buckeye schedule first thing!

+3 HS
DaytonBuck1980's picture

This actually makes sense. If one MUST attend then the only thing to do is ruin everyone else's day as well

Still not giving a damn for the whole state of Michigan. 

+2 HS
MTBuckeye12's picture

My freshman year at tOSU was 2006 for the 1 v 2 game against ttun. My cousin got married that day. My brother and I both skipped out on the wedding and hundreds of dollars to go to the game. Best decision I ever made.

+5 HS
dubjayfootball90's picture

My fiance wanted a wedding in September, on a saturday, of next year. I said I could not do that because of football games on Saturdays. We settled on August 9th, 2015. I tried to get our colors as Scarlet and Gray, and she got upset... It was worth a shot.

You can feed a bobcat all the chili it wants. That don't mean it's going to crap out diamonds.

+2 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

Thanks, Ramzy, for this immensely valuable public service. Unfortunately, it won't register with those most in need of hearing the message.

+4 HS
Oyster's picture

Because those who need to hear it are still in love?

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

Frostybuck88's picture

Because those who need to hear it most are women and probably not reading Ramzy!

The Dude abides...

+4 HS
Todd-Not Boeckmann's picture

Hell, reading these comments, its not registering with half the people here!

On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.

+1 HS
IBLEEDSCARLETANDGRAY's picture

Who goes to 5 weddings in 5 straight weeks? Is that guy a wedding crasher or something?

"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest Civil War analogy EVER.

+2 HS
Buckeye Knight's picture

I heard the biggest day ever for weddings in Michigan was on Sept. 1, 2007, when Appy State beat them.  I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

+3 HS
jamesrbrown322's picture

Also had a friends get married during the first day of the NFL Draft. That was also very poor planning, due to how few churches had wi-fi and/or cable TV at the time.
 

"I can accept failure, but I cannot accept not trying." - W.W. Hayes

VintonCountyBuck's picture

Yeah.. I was supposed to be the best man at my buddies wedding on Saturday October 17, 1998.  I was late for the wedding because of a game that I would love to forget. But, there was no way in hell I was giving up the hope on that team. 

To this day..his now ex-wife still hates me for that.  

“Right now, Michigan is not at the pinnacle of college football, and that’s all Urban Meyer cares about...He’s been there and knows what it takes to get there.” 

+3 HS
BroJim's picture

This was forwarded to my partner. 

I season my simple food with hunger

+3 HS
sb97's picture

Before I met my wife (July Wedding) I was in a serious relationship with another girl.  At one we talked a bit about marriage and I found out she wanted a fall wedding with "Blue and gold" as her colors.  She was an Ohio State grad.  There were some "tense" discussions.

goodlifesean's picture

My wife and I were married 9/13/08. My wife insisted since it was her [dead] grandpa's anniversary. I was a bit sad until it was announced Beanie wouldn't play. Then I was like I'd rather have sausage made by Greek Grandmas and drink bourbon with everyone there. It took the sting out of 35-3

cplunk's picture

I've told my family many times that they can schedule their various weddings whenever they want but I won't be there during college football season. Over the forty-three years of my life, only my brother came close to violating the golden rule. He's a computer guy and a theater major and I doubt he even knows exactly when college football season takes place. In fact, he is probably a little bit nebulous on the fact that college football and pro football are different. Wouldn't surprise me if he asked me Ohio State's lifetime record versus the Oakland Raiders (I'm just going to assume the Bucks would be undefeated).

He scheduled his wedding for Saturday, Sept 4, 2010. That's right- one of the first weeks of the long-awaited season and at that time the date of OSU's season opener. Worse, he lives in Wisconsin so any football I was lucky enough to see that weekend was going to be among Badger fans at bars I snuck away to for brief snatches of time. I debated not going but ultimately the fact that he's my only brother won out and I reluctantly scheduled my flight for the middle of the week.

Fortunately for family ties, my brother was partly redeemed. My sister, brother in law and I (all die hard Buckeye fans) did miss the full day of non-stop glory that is the start of college football season after the long football-less summer, but Gene Smith stepped up and saved the family by rescheduling the Buck's opener to Thursday night. Under normal circumstances, I am about as opposed to OSU playing on a Thursday night as I am to vacationing in Iran or North Korea, but in this case I was over the moon.

We were able to watch Ohio State beat Marshall 45-7, and the only hitch was when some of the family members in the hotel room seemed to think it was okay to turn the game off and do family things just because the Bucks were up by a big margin. Um, no. We do not miss even a minute of the first Bucks game of the year. Or any Bucks game of the year. My sister and I successfully made our reltives understand they had committed a tragic error and they sat quietly as we enjoyed watching various young players get the first minutes of their career in garbage time.

Don't do it, folks. Don't schedule fall weddings. Even the people that are happy for you in terms of life are salty at you for missing the game. Don't do it.

+4 HS
Phillips.449's picture

I have done many stupid things as a youngster.  I am guilty and embarrassed to admit getting married in Cincinnati on September 21, 2002 (OSU vs Cincinnati), was one of them. I hear that was a good game. :(

This will sound like an excuse but at the time I believed that I had two choices, the weekend of THE GAME and UC due to the dates available in the fall at the venue the beautiful Mrs. Phillips.449 wanted. (so really one option).  I wish I had read this article back then and had been wiser.  I could have moved it to the spring and my entire family (mostly UC fans) would have been happier.  Apparently I wasn't doing them a favor by scheduling it so they didn't have to watch their team get blown away by "big brother".  Lucky for me the good guys won and it didn't ruin every anniversary for the remainder of my life.

Hey kids please listen to Ramzy!  He knows his sh!t!

+1 HS
CTBuckeye's picture

I remember planning the date for my wedding - I didn't tell the wife until after the honeymoon was over that I specifically avoided dates and came up with excuses that fell within the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament (in my opinion the best 4 day stretch in all of sports).  She was not amused, but it did let her know that those 4 days, plus any Saturday during college football season are sacred, so don't expect anything from me.

Not sure how I will broach the subject with my future children/in laws that they have a moratorium during college football season and parts of March for wedding dates.  Thankfully have some time for that...

"Because we couldn't go for three"

+1 HS
ULuvLucy's picture

I've definitely bailed on a family wedding in favor of OSU football. I'd do it every time.

Similarly, my birthday is September 21st and it's fallen on a football Saturday before. I planned accordingly and celebrated in the Shoe as any good Buckeye should.

BrutusBlock O

+3 HS
GoBucks713's picture

Single Men of 11W, the line forms to the left.

-The Aristocrats!

+6 HS
buckeye_chick's picture

My dad, an OSU emeritus professor who's also been going to games since the Fifties, always told me as I was growing up: You can marry whoever you want to, as long as he treats you right. But if you want me to be there, don't get married on a football Saturday.

I don't know if he would have actually gone through with not attending my wedding, but I decided not to test him. We got married on September 7, 1985, which was the Saturday before the season started (back in the Stone Age).

Of course, now our anniversary is always on a football Saturday, but how were we to know that football season would start in August in the next millennium?

+1 HS
Citrus's picture

For those talking about being coerced into a fall wedding date by the bride-to-be, you aren't married yet: RUN! Is this how things are going to be? Something is important to you but she doesn't care? Screw that noise. 

(says the 30something never married guy) 

+6 HS
Jeeves's picture

Grow up people. It is a serious life event (wedding) compared to a game (football) that in real life has no real consequence. 

-10 HS
chitown buckeye's picture

Some would argue the same about a wedding.

"I'm having a heart attack!"

+10 HS
Oyster's picture

Some?

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

YTOWNBUCKI's picture

Jeeves, does anyone ever ask you random questions?

+8 HS
Unky Buck's picture

I know it's not related to anything on this article, but that, sir, is the best post here.

...

+1 HS
BuckeyeGrl5's picture

I regret to say I got married last year during the Cal game.   I was literally walking down the aisle during kick off.  To my defense, I had no other option because every venue was booked solid on other dates during the summer.  My bridesmaids gave me minute by minute updates, and before the reception, i snuck into a back room with my husband and was able to catch a portion of the game.  We won convincingly, which I hope means good luck for our marriage.

"I love football.  I think its the most wonderful game in the world and I despise to lose" - Woody Hayes

GoBucks713's picture

Any man that agrees to get married on a Saturday OR Sunday during the fall, deserves a swift kick to the nards like the Wolfman from everyone invited to the wedding, regardless of their attendance status. Plain and simple.

wolfman's got nards

-The Aristocrats!

+6 HS
MassiveAttack's picture

Most dudes can't control their Bridezilla, and this is why it happens.  Free lovin "for life" (yeah right) is usually the reason not to protest too much.  You know what "lovin" does to guys.

+1 HS
Unky Buck's picture

Holy shit, a Monster Squad reference. Never thought I'd see the day.

...

+1 HS
GoBucks713's picture

You are very welcome sir.

-The Aristocrats!

DCBucki's picture

My wife was DEAD SET on a fall wedding. Our dating anniversary "was" Nov. 29, but I told her there was NO WAY we were getting married on that day. 1) It is typically the weekend of THE GAME, 2) If it isn't THE GAME, then it is now a weekend in which the B1G Championship is on, and 3) It is almost always Deer hunting week in Ohio (even though I live in VA). So, we compromised... we got married on 9/1/13, which was on a Sunday (no NFL games). As the anniversary comes around, "if" it falls on a game day it will almost always be a weak team. If its a BIG game, she knows me and will by me tickets to the game a present and we have 3 day weekend to celebrate/travel. Also, since its at the beginning of the season, OSU tickets are ALWAYS an acceptable gift!!

Side note, our wedding party entered to a remix of the Seven Nation Army song, we gave out AMAZING Buckeye Candies for favors, our wedding colors were Scarlett, White and Black (with hint of Grey). The place we got parried at is called Old House Vineyards and they have a giant "O-H" sign outside that stand for "Old House" that everyone took pictures in front of! Also, we all got together and took over the hotel lobby and big screen TV to watch the OSU game and other games Saturday. Great time!! Go Bucks!!

"The deadliest weapon in the world is a MARINE and his rifle!"
GEN. PERSHING, US.ARMY
 

DaytonBuck1980's picture

I don't know what's worse, the fall Saturday wedding or the 7 nation army entrance. That song should be abolished by all sports teams. It's actually very sad that The greatest university in the land plays it at all as it is painfully cliche at this point. We are above that

Still not giving a damn for the whole state of Michigan. 

+2 HS
Bucksfan's picture

Was at a wedding during the triple-OT thriller against NC State in 2003.  There were 20 of us huddled around a portable TV during the reception.  Missed the entire party, dance floor was empty.  The free beer was nice, though.

It's always cheaper to have a fall wedding.  But, ladies, let it be a lesson that you will get what you pay for.

hodge's picture

Getting married on October Eleventh - I WILL HEAR NOTHING OF THIS "BYE WEEK WILL NOT SAVE ME" BLASPHEMY.

-1 HS
yrro's picture

Spring isn't safe, though. We got married the day OSU played Georgetown in the Final Four. Totally could have seen that coming a year in advance :( Thankfully it was an early wedding, so we got to watch the game after, but we had several guests skip out for it.

Idaho Helga's picture

I have known brides who held their weddings in CBus on football Saturdays and whether home or away game, had the nerve to complain about poor attendance.  If you seed the cloud, it will rain.

Also, I had a job a long time ago where management scheduled me to work during tOSU's bowl game.  I told them I would not be at work at that time and I told them why.  They said no, I needed to work then.  I quit.

+6 HS
razrback16's picture

Very nice writeup Ramzy. I actually just got married this past April. I let my wife completely control the wedding as far as which location in Florida (beach wedding), date, decorations, etc. I only had 2 mandates:

* Can't be during football season

* Can't be on spring game Saturday in April (4/12 this past year)

She met both requirements and everyone had a great time at the wedding. Get married in springtime people! Listen to wiseman Ramzy!

+1 HS
ExpressiveBuckeye's picture

Much to the dismay of, well, everyone I know...my lovely wife and I were supposed to get married the night of the home Nebraska game in 2012. I will never forget the conversation I had to have with my groomsmen and future father in law. I felt like I had to tell them I just burned their houses down. Luckily for everyone I got her pregnant so we had to have the wedding early. Ok, actually we had venue issues (THANK YOU WOODY) and had to get married 5 months earlier on a beautiful spring evening (May is highly recommended). It even felt like fall!

My dad and I ended up getting season tickets and going to that game and it was one of those old fashioned ass-kickings...just like we wanted it. One of the best nights in the Shoe I've ever had, thanks to the venue double booking us. My friends and my dad still thank me to this day.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

+2 HS
Big Papa's picture

I ditched my buddies wedding because I got free tickets to the Indiana game in 1995. He was pissed. I responded with what kind of an asshole gets married on a game day.  We were undefeated and having the best season in a decade. I haven't talked to him since. He got divorced a few years ago so I am glad I spent the money at the Varsity Club that I would have used on their present. 

"To be the man you've gotta beat the man and just when you think you have all the answers, I change the question." The Nature Boy, Ric Flair

+2 HS
Buckeyeneer's picture

I had 4 weddings during football season last year. Its sucked. I was the best man at my brother's wedding during the Wisconsin night game last year. My best man toast began as:

Thank you all for coming to the reception. . . which is on the night of the Ohio State/Wisconsin game . . . because apparently both Christmas Day and Easter were taken . . .

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

+4 HS
MassiveAttack's picture

Brother-In-Law (wife's brother) got married in Florida during the OSU-_ichigan game in 2010 (37-7 Bucks).  I had tickets, attended The Game, and froze my @ss off!  But it was better than being on a Florida beach and watching him marry that fat psycho (apologies to fat, non-psychos). 

I told him when he announced the date what had done, and he was all "that's how we know who around real friends are". Yeah, real friends and family WHO LIVE IN OHIO should have to spend their own money to attend your stupid Florida wedding.  They got divorced May 2014.  Glad I'm not a "real friend"!

Edit: Forgot to mention she is a Purdue graduate, so she didn't care at all.

+1 HS
airbuckeye's picture

Ramsey great write up 10 thumps up and this part i had to stop reading because i could not stop laughing over it .

The only bride who would ever agree to this flies around in Wonder Woman's plane, lactates bourbon and defecates solid gold coins.

Which makes this an impossible scenario, but kind of fun in theory: You may kiss the bride with 105,000 people cheering you on, and then you ride out through the North End Zone on his-and-her unicorns to live happily ever after. Buckeyes win.

+1 HS
Tom57's picture

Priorities .... period. Someone is stupid enough to get married on a Saturday btwn the last w/e of August and the second w/e of January... joke's on them....or scheduling a holiday "dinner" in the middle of the afternoon. My true stories.

1. Dissed the entire family and watched the Game of the Century - OK v Nebraska in 1971... AT MY AUNTS HOUSE. Boy was she pissed, but not as much as my Uncle who couldn't join me in the basement. I'll always love my mom for letting me do this. She hated my Aunt.

2. NY Day wedding for family best friend.... Say What?? I said no as soon as I heard about the date, then OSU was playing UCLA in the Rose Bowl... No became HELL NO. No one ever forgave me for about two months.... I never cared.... pretty soon they all forgot about it.

3- N. Multiple times I've been invited - luckily not part of - CFB Day/Night weddings. SoP was to skip either the ceremony, or part of the reception and watch the game from Home, Hotel or worst case nearby bar. In all cases the bride and groom had NO IDEA. Fortunately, the game in question didn't overlap the meal.... If it did and it wasn't the end of the game, and there was a nearby bar.... I'd make the sacrifice for the quarter...

+2 HS
MassiveAttack's picture

My son was born 10/8/2005 @ 2:06pm, the day of the Penn State loss, where Troy Smith was QB.  I think it was a weird 5pm start time. We watched the game from the recovery room.  I wasn't too broken up, but it did sting losing to Texas and Penn State when we had such a good team.  At least we crushed Notre Dame and beat _ichigan!

+1 HS
diehardbuckeye's picture

My wife set the date for 10/27/01. There were many debates and discussions about this date.

I originally asked for April or May and was told, "all I ever dreamed about was a fall wedding." "Buckeyes are in the fall."

So I picked the open date.    "Kristine can't make it, she's already booked a trip to Cancun. Can we move it to the next weekend?"           "That's Penn State, PENN STATE I don't know about that, that's a pretty big game I'll be crazy trying to watch it during the ceremony."      Her, "It'll be OK to miss one game don't be ridiculous"   Me, "MISS A GAME, miss a game, do you know how CRAZY THAT IS? That's just stupid no way. My problem is, if we lose, you know I'll view that as a curse on our marriage"   Her, "Now that's ridiculous"                              "You've been around for a season you know what I am like, I can't even change the socks I wear unless they lose. How will this big of a change upset the gods and Woody? Not to mention every anniversary after we will have to make plans around the game you'll hate that." 

Needless to say she won. Fast froward a few years later on a trip for our anniversary. "I'm going to the bar to watch the game"                 "Come on, we'll never get to see this again"                                                                                                                                                 "Yes, but once again it's Penn State I am NOT missing this game. You're lucky I didn't try to get tickets since we're only a couple of hours away. I told you this is what it was going to be like before we got married. The only thing that trumps the Buckeyes on game days is the kids and that's it. Remember your birthday during the championship run and you yelling at me for sitting at the bar to watch the UC game while your family was ordering dinner. I can't forgive myself for leaving the bar when I thought they intercepted that pass at the end of the game and Rob had to call and tell me they won." 

We have been married now for 13 years. She scheduled herself to work for THE GAME each year because of the stress that it brings to me each season. She usually calls and asks if she should come home or take her time. 
 

Go1Bucks's picture

That's an understanding wife... just needed a little training, as if she thought Buckeye fandom was optional in your mind.  Lmao!  Great story.

Go Bucks!

Ashtabula's picture

I laugh at these smucks that say it's OK because they are married to the perfect wife..Newlyweds!

+1 HS
vwhiegs57's picture

D.A.R.E. = Say NO to Drugs!.....And Fall Weddings!!

I've Taking the Pledge, and so should you!

+1 HS
Goalscorer9's picture

Had a good friend of mine get married the day of the CAL game last year.  We left the reception as soon as the toasts were done.  Missed most of the first quarter, but watched the majority of the game at an applebee's bar somewhere in pennsylvania haha

Fugelere's picture

Weddings?  I won't even go out on a date with a woman if it conflicts with a game.

+3 HS
Unky Buck's picture

Wow, so much to talk about here.

First, hello Allison Wiley! How you doin'?

Second,

Which makes this an impossible scenario, but kind of fun in theory: You may kiss the bride with 105,000 people cheering you on, and then you ride out through the North End Zone on his-and-her unicorns to live happily ever after. Buckeyes win.

I'm not so keen on the time out nuptials since it takes our focus away from the game itself. How about this change:

Which makes this an impossible scenario, but kind of fun in theory: Buckeyes win! And now you may kiss the bride with 105,000 people cheering you on, and then you ride out through the North End Zone on his-and-her unicorns to live happily ever after.

Well, I guess that all depends on whether or not we can get the unicorns to sit still through an entire Buckeye game. God knows I can't, so I'm not banking on it.

Third,

[/old man voice]

I seriously LOL'ed at that one.

Lastly, I'm one of 3 Ohio State graduates that are groomsmen in a wedding in late October. The soon to be married couple are big ND fans and they have a bye week. To them, they don't care, but they sure as shit better have a TV at the reception since that'll be the PSU game. And since it's an Ohio State game, there will likely be plenty of Ohio State fans there. I hope they know what they're dealing with that night.

...

+1 HS
ibuck's picture

Ramzy, did this article crash the whole 11W website? I was going to post a reply and...crash. 

Our honor defend, we will fight to the end !

If you can't win your conference, just quietly accept your non-playoff bowl game.

+1 HS
The Rill Dill's picture

Most guys need to GROW A PAIR.  You get married on a frickin game day, leave for a honeymoon directly after-----and then miss the NEXT game, too?  WTF?  Who the hell lets the woman make all the damned rules , anyway?  NO weddings on Friday OR Saturday in the Fall------PERIOD.  Time to find a chick with her priorities straight, seems to me.

MN Buckeye's picture

My neice is getting married in CBus on Oct 24, leaving me all of Saturday to prep for the Penn State game. While she will have to suffer the potential OSU football Saturday occasionally in the future, it will not cost me all that much, and I will get to visit family and friends and the OSU campus once more.

grant87's picture

January 10, 2010. On purpose! I got a keeper!  Great month.  Beating Oregon then all went well for the wedding.  Ice storm was supposed to him but didn't.

The good is I have had relatives who were "in" weddings and I got good tickets as a result. Latest....Wisconsin at night in C-bus 2013! Silver linings    0*-)

 

Maybe tomorrow, when today will be yesterday things will be clearer.

GO BUCKS !!

OSUNeedles's picture

Married in Vegas... Came home to Columbus and had a reception in the back yard. Bonfire, burgers, hotdogs, and the 2006 OSU vs Texas game projected. Whole reception cost about $350... Loved every second of the day and every second of my life with my wife since.

+1 HS
Citrus's picture

Back when I was engaged (it didn't happen but she's awesome), we had planned to do the wedding on the Sunday after the home USC game. We lived in Miami at the time and wanted to show friends from all over the country how awesome Columbus was in the Fall. We were going to do a wedding party at Heinygate that Sat. If the date eventually shifted to a Sat. wouldn't have mattered cause she loved watching the games. We woulda made a return trip to C-bus for a romantic anniversary. I miss her. Now I am going to cry myself to sleep.

+2 HS
osusteveb5875's picture

Great article Ramzy...Like someone else said though, the people that need to read this the most probably won't.

Life many others, my wife had also "always dreamed of a fall wedding".  I promptly squashed any possibility of that and told her that under no circumstances would we get married on a Saturday in the fall.  I did tell her we could do a Friday, so long as I am never bothered to do something for our anniversary.  We had an April wedding.  

Additionally, some of her friends didn't have that same courtesy.  The year before, 2 OSU grads got married during THE GAME.  I was able to dodge that wedding, as even my wife understood that would be asking too much of me.  

Then last year, someone was inconsiderate enough to schedule her wedding during the Wisconsin game...What, Christmas wasn't available for a wedding?!?!?!?!  Additionally, no TV's radios, nothing anywhere within a 3 mile radius.  It was the worst wedding I've ever been to by far, and I definitely wasn't the only person there frustrated with the timing.  On your wedding day you SHOULD be the center of attention.  Due to poor planning, some of the attention was diverted away from your wedding.  Fortunately for me, I had a friend come through with the genius idea in the 4th quarter: He face timed me and pointed his camera in the direction of the tv.  This made it moderately more enjoyable, but as I'm sure everyone would agree, not nearly as much fun as it should have been.

+1 HS
Todd-Not Boeckmann's picture

I announced to all my friends at the first wedding in our group, which took place in May, "I don't do fall weddings.  PERIOD.  If you schedule one, I won't be there.   PERIOD.  If you schedule it for those 12 weeks (before 12 games and conference championship games) it means you don't want me to come.  Ok, I'm not insulted.  Its a win-win.  You don't want me there and I don't want to be there."  The only rant of my life I was/am proud of.  

My niece got married 2 years ago the same day as the Penn State game...in Kansas City...whenno one except the bride and groom lived there.  Easy for me.  See ya in Columbus.  Even my kids are on notice, not that they needed to be.  Fall wedding?  Pretend I died and toast me.  I'll be watching the Buckeyes.  You want me there?  Pick another day.

On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.

+1 HS
Stinson's picture

I've skipped multiple weddings and didn't feel an inkling of guilt. A handful of friends and family were upset. Don't care.

They don't get it. 

"The height of human desire is what wins, whether it's on Normandy Beach or in Ohio Stadium." -Wayne Woodrow Hayes

+4 HS
ScarletNGrey01's picture

Ramzy, my best friend, who pulled me out of a burning car seconds before it exploded, and later loaned me $50,000 to start up my now successful business, is marrying my sister on a Buckeye football Saturday.  Of course he wants me to be his best man.  What is the most tactful way to let him know I won't be attending the wedding?

Hilarious article, an instant classic.

The will to win is not as important as the will to prepare to win. -- Woody Hayes

+5 HS
Seattle Linga's picture

That Purdue game was an instant classic - great emotion the last few minutes of reg and OT. Downside was our favorite announcer called the game

+1 HS
Go1Bucks's picture

An absolutely fantastic article Ramzy!  Spot on on all counts, and I can't wait to keep this archived so that I can send over and over until the day I die, to all the selfish bastards and bitches that think Game Day is a Wedding day at any time of the year - but most especially, during FOOTBALL season.  Thank you for saying what is in the hearts of all TRUE Buckeyes and football fans.

Go Bucks!

+1 HS
OSUbonobo23's picture

My friend is smart. She scheduled her wedding for the Sunday after the football game. She did this so no one would miss her wedding because of the football game, and because she wants to watch the Buckeyes beat up Cincinnati. 

I put the The, in The Ohio State Univeristy.

Remy's picture

A relative scheduled her wedding for 9-25 (Cincinnati) at 2:00. Will send a gift. Will not attend the wedding.

Another thing to think about for those of you who schedule on a bye week. Your anniversary will forever be during football season. You will be celebrating many anniversaries during Ohio State games in the future.

No to fall weddings

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later." ~ Mitch Hedberg

+2 HS
THEOSUfan's picture

I was married 8/18/84 - the perfect date.  Our anniversary is right before the most wonderful time of the year begins.  I can focus on my love for Honey Buns, and then get ready for one of the great pleasures in life: Ohio State and college football.

Heading to Philadelphia for our 30th anniversary next month... but my mind may wander toward Annapolis, MD.

LABuckeye's picture

I'm fortunate that, living in southern California now, it is usually expected that your wedding is outdoors. Fall and winter are dicey times to hold an outdoor wedding here (after we were engaged, we held a legal ceremony in our living room in December solely to get the tax benefits, and it was storming violently outside). We had our real ceremony on a yacht sailing Newport Harbor in June. Perfect weather. No conflicts. That is the anniversary we celebrate.

catie611's picture

if you have get married on a GAMEDAY get married at the rotunda before kickoff...(urban you are invited) reception is a tailgate. then go to the game...simple. 

Myc24's picture

I missed this article the first time around, but it is glorious in its genius. 

"Because I couldn't go for three!"  - Wayne Woodrow Hayes

OSU_ALUM_05's picture

I likewise missed the article the first time.  My only story:

My wife was scheduled to be in a friend's wedding as a bridesmaid.  My wife and I had football tickets that day.  My wife just looks at me and says:  "you're not going to go with me are you?"  To which I promptly replied ... "absolutely not .. and my cousin will use your ticket."  To this day I'm surprised that went as well as it did ... I think she just knew I'd be mad at her all day if she drug me along.

costinjr's picture

I don't know how I missed this article, but this is easily one of my favorite I've ever read. Well done Ramzy as always. I've got a wedding during the vtech game. The bride said she'd take the TV away if too many people are watching...