Monday Skull Session

By Luke Zimmermann on May 16, 2011 at 6:00 am
"Page-Turner" is euphemism for "Sh*tty Airline Read"This is probably terrible awesome.

Good Monday to you and yours 11Warriortariat. This is neither a "Manic Monday" nor a "Blue Monday" but rather a "Monday" of the only ilk and variety that should exist. Crank the good tunes, enjoy the good times, and confuse your boss by starting to drink at 9 a.m. When he asks what your damage is, apologize for partying sardonically and crank the Wilco. If he doesn't join you, you're working at the wrong place anyway.

Pretty quiet 'round yonder this weekend, in the best way possible at that. No silly scandals lazily suffixed with '-gate'. Your sweater vested fearless leader lawyered up but still has more than enough time to practice the Oscar worthy cross examination about the Pontiac Tempest's tires (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NOT A REFERENCE TO THE DISPATCH STORY OF LAST WEEKEND).

Special shoutout to the Men's Tennis team for advancing to the round of 16 in their respective stomping grounds. Let's dive into the weekend that was. *BOOSH*

TROLLGAZE2k11. Like many of his coaching co-patriots, Georgia's Mark Richt (along with Bulldogs' head hoops coach Mark Fox) is hitting the speaking circuit before summer ball/responsibilities becomes too all encompassing. From one such tour stop appearance this weekend in Greenville, South Carolina, the UGA head men found a sensitive subject around these parts brought to the table:

But the mood of this crowd turned early, during a question-and-answer session, when a fan asked Richt and men’s basketball coach Mark Fox what they would do to prevent Georgia “from becoming an Ohio State.”

It was Fox’s turn at the microphone. But moderator Chuck Dowdle stepped in and said Ohio State’s main problem was they “have a head coach who’s not truthful.”

Then he said pointed at Richt and Fox and said Georgia didn’t have that problem.

Fox, who just completed his second year in the SEC and probably doesn’t want to make too many waves, answered by saying people forget that the NCAA rulebook is thick and changes every year. Then he spoke about educating players to “think and not act, and not act and then alibi.”


“I have yet to visit a tattoo parlor in Athens, and don’t plan to,” he said, to laughter.

Pretty good zing, Mark Fox-bro. Speaking of honesty moderator Chuck Dowdle, in the spirit of, perhaps you should heed your own advice and set the top of your head free. Not sayin', just sayin'. 

 Your golden dry cleaning will be ready in never hundred hours. Following the controversy that may ultimately result in the 2010 season being vacated, Gold Pants club president Jim Lachey (yes, that one) is having to put the breaks on the usual early awarding of last season's swag. The reasoning is as follows:

"We're dealing with some outstanding issues that we've never had to deal with before," Lachey said.


"If they vacate the win, it makes no sense to award the gold pants, at least in our minds," Lachey said. "And if you hand them out and say, 'Oh yeah, we'll need to get them back if the win is vacated' - I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be a smart way to go.

"And I'll be honest: We don't want to see any 2010 gold pants on the market right now."

It's some serious weak sauce it's come to this but I can't fault Lachey and co.'s line of thinking in the least. He ultimately goes on to state that in the future the organization may wait to award the memorabilia until players' eligibility have been fully exhausted. Count this among the better by-products of the mess the program finds themselves presently in. 

 Lots of L's but lots class to boot. Say what you will about Lloyd Carr. Perhaps his time in A^2 had organically reached its conclusion . Maybe his approach/dynamic had run its course in terms of his ability to get Michigan in the mix at the level their passionate fan base commands. Regardless, you won't find many better men in or around the game of college football. The national championship coach appropriately had quite the weekend worthy of his admirable career. In the same night he learned that he'd been named to College Football's Hall of Fame, Carr also had a wing of hospital named in his honor. So what'd you do this weekend? Much deserved for a solid coach and an even better guy.

DOYEL ANGRY. RAWWWWWWWRRRR. Speaking of The Vest's legal counsel, humanity's watch dog Gregg Doyel thinks this of his choice of hire:

Jim Tressel and Ohio State are the latest alleged NCAA offenders to lawyer up in a way that makes sense for them -- but makes a mockery of the system.

Both have hired former NCAA enforcers who moved to the other side of the aisle. Now that they've left the prosecution for the defense table, these former NCAA insiders are able to find loopholes in the NCAA rulebook one of them helped write, or in the enforcement manual partially written by another. Or they use their cozy relationship with people still at the NCAA -- textbook, meet conflict of interest -- to find a way to minimize damages.

Truth in jest. Let us pray no one ever tells Mr. Doyel that former lobbyists often find themselves appointed to government positions to make policy implications in their previous fields.

 Gallimaufry. Video games are getting a bit violent (see: awesome?) these days... Basically every boss ever... Truest depiction of the internet ever... Kinda bummed I didn't get my invite... You look great, bb!

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