Depth Chart Happy Tuesday everyone. This week's depth chart is exactly the same as least week's, with the caveat that Jake Stoneburner will actually play this time. Boring. Does anybody actually care about potentially season changing personnel decisions on America's #1 college football team? I don't. Maybe I never did. And now I probably never will. Not when there are Youtubes to be had.
I'll admit it. I miss Ye Olde Youtube Fridays. There is incredible beauty and wonder all around us, and as an educator I would be remiss if I didn't share as much of this wide world as I possibly can with you, our loyal readers. We've made the conscious decision to make the Thursday article more about the team we are about to play than about my own personal obsessions and foibles, and while I think this is good for both the site and its readers, I can't deny there is a huge, gaping hole in my soul where poorly compressed 45 second videos once were.
Until last night, when Luke and I decided to pool our resources and bring to you some of the bad/wrong/badong Ohio State related videos available on this amazing series of tubes we call the internet. So sit back and relax, because this week I promise tears, dancing, incredible in-depth analysis, and possibly the greatest song ever sung. You've been warned.
Overture It all started with our faithful reader and excellent commentator Denny. Damn you Denny, you horrible, wonderful man. Denny brought up a sideline stunt by ESPN personality Rob Stone, in which he ate some kind of insanity pepper provided to him by New Mexico State.
Gleefully Sadistic Horticulture Professor: *after Rob takes a bite of pepper* "...that's a million Scoville heat units."
Rob Stone: "What does that mean?"
...
RS: *absentmindedly takes another bite* "That was a dumb move, wasn't it?"
GSHP: "Yes it was. Yes."
...
RS: "I'M DONE I'm done I'm tapped. Holy cow. UUUWWWAAAAAHHH!! Aaaaahuhauhhuhuh."
Act One Herbie, I will pay you any amount of money for that Snuggie.
Act Two Admittedly, Ohio State fans do not have great reputations as dancers, a source of great personal shame. Our athletes, maybe. But almost certainly not the fans. But this video, of what I believe to be members of the Hip Hop dance class at Ohio State performing the Thriller dance on Halloween last year, is utterly amazing, and is something you all need to watch:
Watch it once, and enjoy the dance. Now watch it again, and notice the dude in the background filming the action and as happy as any clam that has ever existed. Now watch it a third time, and notice the backflip by the dude in the wrestling gear, who then proceeds to bust out his own set of moves. Now live a long and full life, ultimately dying and playing this video on a continuous loop at your funeral in lieu of any kind of eulogy.
Intermission Quick Hits! Odoms, Michigan WR, has broken his foot and will be out for a while... Bielema is kind of a poopface... Also really, really wants to beat Ohio State for once... Duron keeps dominating... Sanzo interviewed by ESPN (special guest appearance by Eddie George!)
Act Three The Play That Made The Day. A truly spectacular analysis of a critical play during the Indiana game. Highlights include:
- A defensive lineman standing directly on top of an offensive guard
- Every player running to their assigned spot and standing perfectly still
- The quarterback throwing the football both in between and under two offensive linemen and a defensive lineman
- Literally nothing happening after that
Act Four (reprise) Please, Kosta Koufos. Please don't make me like you. Please.
Finale MlbIndian and lexco44 have been slacking lately, but FootballRocks216 has a message for all of us: Don't Stop Believin'
