The key to enduring a beautiful summer Saturday without Buckeye football is professionalizing your fandom like I did. That way you equally enjoy all Saturdays.
- The biggest news from Friday: Chris Spielman (whose real name is Charles!?) filed a class action lawsuit against Ohio State, IMG Radio, Honda, and others to stop them from profiteering on the image of former players. (Consider me #TeamSpielman. Special shoutout to all the brave defenders of the multibillion dollar corporations.)
- No, J.T. Barrett did not break his wrist.
- Buckeyes favored to win the Big Ten (again).
- Thad Matta-era Buckeyes feeling welcomed from Chris Holtmann.
- Zach Lawrence, an avowed Ohio State fan recovering from traumatic brain injuries, still hates Michigan.
- Help put a life-size statue of Woody Hayes in his hometown of Newcomerstown, Ohio.
Word of the Day: Athwart.
ZEKE PREPARED FOR THE WORST. Ezekiel Elliott's ex-girlfriend accused the newly drafted Dallas Cowboys running back of assaulting her in July 2016, which means the NFL has investigated for a year now.
Thankfully, this issue will be put to bed in the coming weeks, according to ESPN NFL insider Adam Schefter.
From espn.com (emphasis mine):
"This is the question everyone has been waiting over a year to have answered—whether Ezekiel Elliott will face discipline. I think that there's a growing sense he could face some sort of short suspension here in the coming weeks at some point once the NFL wraps up its investigation. It is not over yet, but it is definitely far along into the process.
"Zeke Elliott still has to respond to the NFL's recent findings. The NFL has given him some report, and at some point here in the coming weeks Zeke Elliott will respond...
"... But I think that Zeke Elliott is bracing for a short suspension here in the coming weeks, and we'll see how that impacts the season. Keep in mind that the Dallas Cowboys open with the New York Giants and then the Denver Broncos. There is a chance he could miss one or both of those games.
"But again, the NFL has not made any final determinations. It's still going through its investigation. And until that investigation is wrapped up, we don't know how it will work out.
"But again, I think there's a growing sense that Zeke Elliott is going to face some sort of discipline and it very well could include a short suspension."
Schefter leaves wiggle room, but it's clear the man who was built to relay NFL factoids to the masses thinks one of the NFL's leading stars will start the season on the bench.
My only hope is to see justice rendered—whatever that may be. (Searing legal analysis from a college football blogger, I know.)
KENTUCKY SHOULD'VE LOST. Young Millennials probably don't remember it, but Ohio State entered a Sweet 16 game in 2011 as favorites over Kentucky. (Look it up, it's true!)
They should've dumped the Wildcats, too. It just didn't work out like that. The Buckeyes lost 62-60 thanks to a Brandon Knight game-winner.
“I’m not bitter about it, but at the same time I feel like we lost that game,” he said. “I feel like there were some things that we did that we shouldn’t have done leading up to the game and we got a little ahead of ourselves. I don’t think we had our full, 100 percent focus on that game and it was clear by the way we came out. I don’t think the game should’ve been that close.”
Six years removed, Lighty still remembered Ohio State’s shooting percentage against Kentucky: 32 percent. Yet, Diebler’s three-pointer in the final minute pulled the teams even at 60 before Brandon Knight — who finished 3 for 10 from the field — hit a tough, pull-up jumper over Craft to set the final score.
Craft still blames himself for the basket.
“I let him go right, and that’s on me,” he said. “He hit a game-winner during the tournament against Princeton going right, and that was my fault. I shouldn’t have let him get to his right hand. He made a good shot, but I think I could’ve made it different.”
I'm still bitter about it. I remember standing at Eddie George's Overpriced and Mediocre Grille (when it was in the Gateway, where I also watched Terrelle Pryor commit to The University of Ohio State) with my weak-ass Bud Light, mouth agape like the chump I was.
If Willie Buckets hit that three-pointer might be the greatest "What if?" of the Thad Matta tenure
AMAZING SANDWICH PHILOSOPHY. Mark Richt is a coach I like and respect but would never want head coaching Ohio State.
That said, I've eaten over 10,000 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in my life, and I have never seen anything like Richt's 10-bite hustle.
From David Hale of ESPN:
Mark Richt's sandwich philosophy is just amazing: pic.twitter.com/Gk3Ou8thhA
— David Hale (@DavidHaleESPN) July 14, 2017
I... I have never counted bites on a sandwich. I just stuff it in my belly as fast as possible.
GET DUMPED THEN, GATORS. Always enjoy a solid old-timey football program design:
— Sports Paper (@SportsPaperInfo) July 14, 2017
Imagine Florida playing at Tulane in 2017. Hilarious. We all know SEC teams never travel to environments that hostile.
THOSE WMDs. The exciting life and lonely death of a basketball vagabond... The Jerry Foster story... Shattered Glass: A classic story of fabrication... Chuck Blazer, who bilked United States Soccer, died this week... What a half decade reviewing porn does to a writer.