Tuesday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on December 1, 2015 at 4:59 am
Eli Apple ruining Jehu Chesson's day.

Even by Browns standards, last night was an instant classic.

The Browns handed out "Dawg Pound" towels and set off fireworks after a field goal. They deserved that L. Why am I fan? I have no answer.

 ROSE BOWL ON DECK? Let's assume, even though there's no proof to say it won't, chaos doesn't break Ohio State's way and the Buckeyes don't make the playoffs.

Depending on how things shake out, it could mean a Rose Bowl bid against a four-loss Southern California team.

From cleveland.com:

A bowl projection from CBS Sports has Iowa in the Rose Bowl and Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl. So does FOX Sports. But SB Nation has Ohio State in the Rose and Iowa in the Peach. Both ESPN bowl projections have Ohio State in the Rose Bowl.


If Iowa loses, especially if Iowa loses big, the loss would show the Hawkeyes got to 12-0 against a schedule that included just one top 25 team, Northwestern. Ohio State would have the same, but its one top 25 win, over Michigan, might trump that Northwestern win. And Ohio State's loss to Michigan State was on a last-second field goal.

Iowa loses big: Ohio State to the Rose 

Iowa loses close: Coin flip

Another possibility: Ohio State vs. Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl.

I know the Rose Bowl bills itself as "The Granddaddy of 'Em All" but this isn't 1997. There isn't an Ohio State fan alive that would choose a Rose Bowl berth over a playoff bid. And if there is, they're a liar.

My faith in Chaos is strong—would've died in Marion if it wasn't—but if Ohio State misses the playoffs then it's all about the matchup for me. As much as I love to know Pasadena (I was born there), I'd much rather watch Notre Dame get split open like a heart surgery patient than face a four-loss team.

*looks at watch cellphone* Oh hell, Notre Dame is due for a dumping this decade. I don't care if it happens in the Peach Bowl or Little Lucifers Detroit Bowl. Let's just hope it happens if the playoff portal collapses.

 ASH TO THE ORANGE? Urban Meyer values assistant coaches with ambitions for their own programs, so this time of year always brings out the vultures.

From footballscoop.com:.

Syracuse: Sources tell FootballScoop that Ohio State defensive coordinator Chris Ash is a strong candidate for the head coaching position at Syracuse. Ash has served as co-defensive coordinator at Ohio State the past two seasons, as DC at Arkansas in 2013 and at Wisconsin in 2011 & 2012. We have not heard a timetable for a decision and were told earlier today that other candidates were still in the process.

I'm of the opinion Ash could do better than Syracuse, but if this is the end then his dishonorable discharge papers should be signed within the hour. He was instrumental in Ohio State's title run.

It will be interesting (read: like pulling eyeballs) to see which assistants end up poached. The Buckeyes were already headed for a player exodus, but that could be compounded with a coaching exodus as well.

 TROY SMITH GETS SOME YOUNG TYCOON MONEY. Troy Smith is no longer bound by NCAA restrictions, which means he's free to profit off his labor and also accept money from those that are giving it away.

The former Heisman Trophy winner is wading into the hangover cure game.

From dispatch.com:

Heisman Trophy winner and former Ohio State quarterback Troy Smith has signed on to endorse Life Support, a hangover-relief beverage with local ties.

Smith will make appearances in Ohio and will be part of radio advertising for the brand for the rest of the year, the company said last week.

Apparently A.J. Hawk is an investor in LifeSupport. I've never tried it; the one can I bought I froze like an idiot and ruined it.

Is it better than "hair of the dog," an ancient remedy 11W commenters put me onto? That, I doubt. 

 THE INCOMPARABLE. We've all heard the one where Michigan fans say, "Well actually, we were the ones who invented Script Ohio." Which is true if script Ohio was just a simple "O-H-I-O" formation.

From nytimes.com's profile of TBDBITL:

They didn’t actually draw it out as a script; they just ran to the formation and made it on the field rather than actually writing it out as if a giant pen were writing ‘Ohio’ on the field,” said Dr. Christopher Hoch, the interim director of Ohio State marching and athletic bands. “So it’s kind of a half-truth” that Michigan invented Script Ohio, he said.


The people in London didn’t really know much about marching bands,” [fourth-year sousaphone player Neil] Steffens said. “It was just so foreign to them, and all their customs were so foreign to us, so it was a really awesome experience just to be able to interact with the people and put on a good show.”


“No matter where we go or what we do, Script Ohio is still the most requested,” Hoch said.

Is there any history Michigan won't obfuscate in order to make itself feel more important? Script Ohio is iconic because of the script!

Michigan pedantry aside, it delights me to know Script Ohio is beloved worldwide. No other state could pull off the aesthetics of it.

 MANBUN BACK?. Thad Matta told assembled media Monday there was no update on the status of freshman forward Mickey Mitchell, who is currently sidelined by eligibility issues.

Matta, however, may have been holding some cards tight to the chest.

Via Austin Grandstaff's Snapchat:

makes u think

Probably a bad sign for the basketball team that we're turning to a freshman with a manbun for a pick-me-up this early in the season, but D'Angelo Russell isn't walking through those doors.

 THOSE WMDs. Marvin Gaye's wife reveals how he tortured her... Brutal baboon battle erupts for Toronto Zoo's throne after matriarch dies... On the reception and detection of pseudo-profound bullshit... Photographer toiled for six years to capture this Kingfisher in mid-dive.

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