Halloween Skull Session: Get Dumped Then, Bye Week

By D.J. Byrnes on October 31, 2015 at 4:59 am
Halloween Skull Session: Jamarco Jones vs. Rutgers

Ah, Halloween: The one where disguised kids walk around in the dark, knock on strangers' doors and demand candy or to be tricked. Somehow, this is all seen as a good idea. Just make sure you don't feed the #teens; they're feral and will start loitering around your lawn, smoking cigarettes, and expecting to be fed candy every night. 

Unfortunately, it's also the one where the Buckeyes don't play on a day they normally do. It's hard for me to get too fake-mad about this, however, because Ohio State is banged up and this week off will its mind right for the trench run that's coming these next five weeks.

THE DAY'S SLATE, WHICH IS BAD. Not going to lie, folks: The only college football I'm watching today is whatever game the Boone Saloon has on its TVs tonight.

Not that any of you can blame me. Today's slate is bad, and I'll be hiking. How bad is it? Notre Dame's trip to Temple is the most enticing game of the day.

3:00 COLORADO at No. 12 UCLA UCLA (-23) FOX
3:30 GEORGA vs. No. 11 FLORIDA UF (-3) CBS
3:30 No. 14 OKLAHOMA at KANSAS OU (-40½) FOXS1
3:30 MARYLAND at No. 10 IOWA IOWA (-17) ABC
7:00 TULANE at No. 16 MEMPHIS MEM (-32½) CBSN
7:00 VANDERBILT at No. 18 HOUSTON UH (-13½) ESPN2
7:00 MIAMI at No. 22 DUKE DUKE (-11) ESPN
8:00 No. 9 NOTRE DAME at No. 21 TEMPLE ND (-10½) ABC

My (4-4) underdog money line pick: USC roughed me up like it was a bottle of cheap tequila last week, so I'm doing the responsible thing and doubling down this weekend. Give me the fightin' Owls of Temple and the Jerry Kill Testimonial.

I'm more confident of the former than the latter, but I'm comforted by the fact the Dilly Bar thaumaturgist still prowls those northern sidelines. (I assume he's now immortal too.)

11W WEEK IN REVIEW. Here's stuff written this week by people more talented than myself:

OHIO STATE SHOULD BE NO. 1 FOREVER, ACTUALLY. The College Football Playoff Committee (the originality displayed in the name still slays me) is set to release its first poll of the season next week. 

Should Ohio State be No. 1?

From CBSSports.com:

It's late October, and Ohio State is 8-0, outscoring its opponents by an average score of 38.5-15.1. That's right, the Buckeyes have not only failed to lose a single game, but they're winning by an average of more than 23 points per contest.

And those numbers aren't inflated by its non-conference schedule. Against schools from the Power Five, Ohio State is winning games by an average score of 42.4-19.1.

Yet, whenever somebody talks about Ohio State, they're trying to figure out what's wrong with it.

Well, I'll tell you what's wrong with Ohio State: nothing.

I agree with the assessment that people tend to critique Ohio State's third and fourth-round jabs when it's out here putting teams on the pavement by halftime. Such is the nature of the crown, though.

The only case against them to which I would agree is the fact Ohio State has yet to beat a ranked team. Thankfully, Ohio State's meat is deftly placed at the end of the schedule. It's all about that crescendo, baby.

The aforementioned trench run of Michigan State, Michigan, and (hopefully) an undefeated Iowa is going to be the stuff of which legends are made. (Becoming an Ohio State fan remains one of the best decisions of my life.)

JOSHUA PERRY AS NAPOLEON DYNAMITE? It could totally happen, although Perry apparently needs to tighten up his candy palate. A finely-tuned D-1 athlete sneaking Lemonheads is akin to surviving 40 days in a desert and choosing to eat a stale McDouble as your first meal. (You could do it, theoretically, but why?)

From MyDaytonDailyNews.com:

Ohio State senior linebacker Joshua Perry will have no problem being the biggest, tallest trick-or-treater in Columbus this weekend. He plans to get some candy one way or the other — Lemonheads, preferably.

Perry might dress up as Napolean Dynamite, which would be quite the departure from the costumes he wore as a kid. One year he dressed as a spy from the “Spy Kids” movie. Another year he was Michael Jackson.

“You know the Raggedy Ann dolls?” Perry said Wednesday. “One year I was Raggedy Andy.”

My friend wanted to wear sweats to work, so he dressed up as a "college student." I told he should've donned worn only socks and sandals and gone as "a sports blogger." (I can already hear my readers' groans as they head for the exit.)

JEFF GREENE: NO REGRETS. Jeff Greene came to Georgia Tech with dreams of being the next Demaryius Thomas or Calvin Johnson. He will exit college as an Ohio State national champion with student loan debt.

Greene regrets nothing.

From News-Herald.com:

“When I got 18 and 19 and got out of the house, it was just like, ‘You know what? I want to do other things,’” Greene said. “To have that chance to come up here and be part of something great, who would want to pass up that opportunity? Whatever it took to get up here, I made that happen. So it wasn’t that big of a sacrifice for me. I just wanted to be part of the Buckeyes.”

Greene’s college career at Georgia Tech looked ever so promising when he caught 18 passes for 284 yards and two touchdowns in his sophomore year with the Yellow Jackets. He was seemingly right on track to be the next Johnson or Thomas, players who went from Georgia Tech to NFL stardom.

“I didn’t think it would be a good fit for me,” he said of his long-term career at option-running Georgia Tech. “I just wanted to look for a better opportunity.”

Injuries have forced Greene into the fires, and I'm hoping the 6'5" Georgian takes an attitude to blocking. After seeing the void left by Evan Spencer, I think we've all come to value a good edge-setter. 

SMITH STRUGGLING TO ADAPT. Devin Smith, who evolved into one of the most electrifying weapons in college football by the end of the 2014 season, is struggling with the Jets.

I know this to be true because he's on my fantasy team, but also because I read these quotes from New York Jets offensive coordinator Chan Gailey. 

From NYPost.com:

“He’s struggled integrating into the whole system,” Gailey said. “He did certain things in college that were in their system, and getting involved in the whole system [with the Jets] — it’s been a longer process than any of us thought it would be.

“He’s just got a lot to learn and a lot to work on to this point,” Gailey added. “He’s got talent. We obviously all see that. If he’ll just keep working, things will happen good for him in the future. But he’s just got to keep working.”

Smith, a star in college with his speed and big-play ability, barely has been a factor with the Jets since they made him the 37th overall pick in last spring’s NFL draft.

Hmmm, here's a hot tip for Chan Gailey... have Smith run deep and then throw the ball to him. It doesn't get much simpler than that. Another classic case of the NFL overthinking things, smdh.

NEW DEAD SCHEMBECLHERS #BANGER. We're basically eleven months into the reign of Jim Harbaugh, and I still like the guy.

It won't stop me from enjoying the Dead Schembechlers' latest anthem:

Like the song? You might also like our "The Devil Wears Khakis" shirt.

THOSE WMDs. Danish man sentenced to 7 years after killing brother with potatoes... Yes, Game of Thrones is a soap opera... Sleep paralysis is a never-ending nightmare... Police: IRS phone scam call going around... Area concerned parent is concerned... Spooky face swap.

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