Thursday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on August 27, 2015 at 4:59 am
Noah Brown out for season, Urban Meyer cranks up Virginia Tech prep, Bud Foster's bad #take, and more.

Sad news out of Wednesday night's practice: Sophomore receiver Noah Brown — poised for a breakout year — suffered a devastating, season-ending leg-fracture.

I'm salty about this one, and I didn't put any of the work Noah Brown did to get where he's at. Ohio State is still stocked at receiver with four-star gems, but it's still painful to lose a workhorse.

Here's Noah as a freshman, straight murking fools:


No doubt in my mind he'll be back to form in 2016.

ENTER SANDMAN. Folks, I haven't checked my sundial in a few days, but I have a feeling it's almost time to watch the team we all know and love do some work down in Blacksburg. 

There are worse songs out there than Enter Sandman, but if I had to listen it on repeat? 

There better be enough alcohol in my veins to kill an ox. 

It's easy to see Urban's play here. He wants a pissed-off team. If he beats this song into his team for the next week and a half(!!!!!!!!!!!!) then it will send the Buckeyes into a Pavlovian blood frenzy as soon as it blares through the 1980-era speakers that undoubtedly hang in Lane Stadium.

BUD FOSTER'S DUMB TAKE. Bud Foster made $1,365,000 last year as the defensive coordinator of Virginia Tech's amateur football team. He was the nation's highest paid assistant.

His players make decidedly less than that, but apparently some Hokie players have been slacking in the morning workouts. Foster thought a possible solution was fining them out of their cost-of-attendance checks.

This is an horrendous idea for a bevy of reasons, and it's hilarious to me that a guy who makes ~$1,365,000 a year didn't include "coaching better" as a possible solution. Nor do I expect him to give up any of that money if Ohio State hangs 60 on him two Monday nights hence.

Thankfully, Virginia Tech's athletic director intervened:

Still, Foster done goofed. For whatever reason, the loss to Virginia Tech doesn't sting anymore, and this is the bad #take bulletin board material I needed to conjure some good old-fashion loathing. I hope Ohio State goes for two after every touchdown.

PRYOR BACK ON TRACK. Terrelle Pryor showed some flashes in Browns camp, but the former Ohio State QB missed the last two preseason games due to a hamstring knock.

The plan, however, is to get Pryor back on the field this Saturday against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a game that promises to be a shit buffet.


“Hopeful is a good word. We will see how he responded to the work today,” [Browns coach Mike] Pettine said Wednesday after practice. “ ... We had him on a [repetition] count. He got to his number, and we shut him down, but it was good to have him out there. ... Hopefully, we can get him out there tomorrow, and if he makes it through tomorrow, he should be good to go for Saturday.”

I'm still hopeful Pryor can make some plays (if Josh McCown can get the ball within three feet of Pryor's hands — no small task for a guy who would be good if his brain were responsible for throwing a football) and end up on the final roster.

The Browns just don't have anybody like him and they could do a lot worse than T.P. for their Week 17 QB, a role usually reserved for a sud-soaked vagrant hauled off the street earlier that week.

TRUST THE SLOBS. Ohio State will be without four key players and Noah Brown against Virginia Tech, but I refuse to be worried because Ohio State is an offensive line-driven team.


Does Ohio State, which returns four of five starters, have that kind of line? [former Ohio State great LeCharles] Bentley thinks so.

“I was in Columbus last week to speak to the team, and naturally I gravitated toward the O-linemen,” said Bentley, who runs a training center in Chandler, Ariz., for young NFL linemen. “What I saw were kids taking ownership of what was taking place in the locker room and on the field. I watched older guys coaching up younger guys. I saw a level of passion and accountability being shared among them. Having been in other programs, that is so rare to find. A lot of times when a young kid comes in, all the sudden the veteran gets uneasy about job security.”

Bentley only noticed the linemen’s selfless culture because he wanted to focus on The Slobs — the name Ohio State’s linemen have given themselves, perhaps as a way to stand out collectively? — and not on the higher-profile skill positions. 

I'm going to work myself into such a psychosis by Labor Day that I'm going to be calling for Ohio State to win by 65. I'd say "I can't wait," but I can and I will.

It will be worth it.

THOSE WMDs. How Nairobi got its bus system on Google Maps... The Drone on a Leash... An Illustrated History of Soul Food... Young athletes may be drinking too much water... YouTube-taught javelin thrower Julius Yego wins gold at world championships... A Podcast with Jack Park.

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