Thursday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on April 30, 2015 at 4:59 am
Jeff Heuerman, Michael Bennett, Joey Bosa, and Ezekiel Elliott
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NFL Draft Day, baby! 

For Cleveland fans, it's like Christmas morning, except our parents are alcoholic serial abusers who worship Satan. 

DEVIN SMITH, THE NEXT REGGIE WAYNE? I've heard a lot of Devin Smith comparisons in my day, but this is a first.

From Anthony Amico of RotoViz.com:

Devin Smith seems like a close match to Reggie Wayne when we analyze him through the Box Score Scout App. Even if we extend the parameters to include things like vertical leap and freak score, the two players are very close. Based on the opportunity scores and draft order, there is a very strong chance that he ends up on a team that will target him frequently. If you have any concern over his potential need for an elite quarterback, Wayne was still effective when catching passes from career backups. Best of all, Smith shouldn’t cost you much in your rookie drafts with respect to his potential. I know I’ll be pounding the table for him all summer.

(You'll have to click the link for the full data rundown... but I'm 90% sure Smith would take Wayne's career in a heartbeat.)

There's a 0% chance Devin Smith doesn't end up on my computer football roster next year, and I am intrigued to see where he'll land. Wayne might've been serviceable with backup QBs, but I feel like drafting Smith without a quarterback is like going to Bibibop and not getting the purple rice. Like, why in the hell are you even in the Bop, amateur? IT MAKES NO SENSE.

Whoever gets Smith (he'll be the first Buckeye off the board, probably) will be getting a good one:

BENNETT'S MOTOR. Michael Bennett might not get drafted tonight, but he'll likely be the next Buckeye off the board after Devin Smith. Here's how NFL teams view the big fella.

From CincyJungle.com:

A projected Round 2 pick, Michael Bennett could be a player to make an impact during in his rookie season. Bennett has a quick burst off-the-ball and great technique to win at the point of attack. Against average guards in the NFL, Bennett could be a disruptive force in the backfield.

[...]

Some of the knocks on Bennett surround his effort, motor and durability. He probably furthered these concerns after not being able to workout at the NFL combine. Then, he pulled up in a 40 yard dash attempt at the Buckeye's pro day, with a 4.98 second run.

I've heard criticism of Bennett's efforts... but those seemed to die a silent death after the Penn State game. After that brawl in Happy Valley, Bennett seemed like a different animal. He might never make a Pro Bowl, but he's going to make millions in the NFL:

 GET WELL SOON, MIKE CONLEY. Folks: You do not want any part of a facial fracture:

If you thought Twitter wouldn't have its fun with this, you thought wrong (NSFW). 

I doubt Conley cares about the Twitter yuck yucks though, because his Memphis Grizzlies are onto the next round. (Memphis fans are lying to themselves if they think the Grizzlies would've closed the deal last night without a heroic 7 rebound/1 steal/0 foul performance from my main man, Kosta Koufos!)

OHIO STATE LINEBACKER U. Surprise, surprise: Another ranking, another Ohio State victory over the Big Ten.

From Tom Dienhart of BTN.com:

Yes, Penn State traditionally is thought of as “Linebacker U.” And the Nittany Lions have seen nine linebackers picked since 2005, second most in the Big Ten. But the Buckeyes pace the Big Ten with 13 linebackers selected in the last 10 drafts. Iowa and Nebraska also have done well with each school having seven linebackers tabbed.

The Big Ten has had 59 linebackers drafted since 2005 with nine first-round selections. The Buckeyes have had the most first-round picks with four: A.J. Hawk in 2005; Vernon Gholston in 2008; Bobby Carpenter in 2006; Ryan Shazier in 2014. Purdue is second with two first-rounders: Anthony Spencer in 2007 and Ryan Kerrigan in 2011.

[...]

Here is a look at the Big Ten linebacker NFL draft leader board from 2005-14.

  1. Ohio State: 13
  2. Penn State: 9
  3. Iowa: 7

I'm not sure if Josh Perry will get drafted in the first round, but I have a hankering Darron Lee and Raekwon McMillan will hear their names called early (when they declare).

One thing I do know: OSU's linebacker corps is about to be nasty this year.

NOT GOOD. [Insert the sounds of me bleeding to death from a shotgun blast to the gut.]

From Collin Blinkley of Dispatch.com:

The drum-major instructor for the Ohio State University marching band was arrested today on charges of rape and kidnapping, according to Franklin County court records.

Stewart Kitchen, 28, is in the Franklin County jail in connection with what Columbus police say was a rape that occurred on April 15. Court records say the rape occurred at Kitchen's home on Indiana Avenue in the University District.

The court records say that he invited a woman to have drinks, then raped her after they went back to his place. The court report says that she asked him to take her home numerous times, but that he refused, eventually forcing her into his bedroom and to have sex.

Innocent until proven guilty and all that, but wow, did my skin crawl reading that report.

*enters pulpit*

FELLAS: IT'S NOT COOL OR GOOD TO RAPE OR HARASS WOMEN. IN FACT, IT'S BAD.
FELLAS: IT'S NOT COOL OR GOOD TO RAPE OR HARASS WOMEN. IN FACT, IT'S BAD.
FELLAS: IT'S NOT COOL OR GOOD TO RAPE OR HARASS WOMEN. IN FACT, IT'S BAD.

I am so sick of this. Do I have to get a bullhorn to shout the message on the Oval at random bros and coaches? Because I will if it gets idiots/criminals to stop disgracing the university. 

*exits pulpit*

(BONUS READING: For some perspective on what women deal with at Ohio State, click here.)

DELANY FLIPS THE SCRIPT. Props to Jim Delany for using the time-honored technique of "Allow me to use this opportunity of you pointing out something you don't like about me to point out a thing I don't like about you." It's a classic deflection hustle. 

From Stewart Mandel of FoxSports.com:

"I don't think [satellite camps] are objectionable," Delany told reporters here covering the College Football Playoff's annual meetings. "I think there are some things out there that are practices that are legal that are probably far more objectionable."

Specifically, Delany mentioned oversigning, grayshirting, "flipping" committed players and 7-on-7 camps -- all practices, not coincidentally, widely associated with the SEC -- as examples of "things that people object to but are permissible. Coaches coaching at camps doesn't strike me as a bad practice."

First of all: Satellite camps are overblown. If they really made that much of a difference this loophole would've been exploited and closed a long, long time ago.

As for oversigning/grayshirting: I guess this means Jim Delany hasn't followed the drama surrounding the 2015 OSU class. (Hold on let me take a sip of this delicious tea.)

As for flipping commits: Urban Meyer might choke Delany over this one, but props to Big Jim for going to bat for his conference.

It's also hilarious how fast the big, bad SEC turned into sniveling crybabies. (I now understand what they meant with all that "SEC SPEED" bleating.)

THOSE WMDs. The Strange Afterlife of Edgar Allen Poe's Hair... Javaris Crittenton pleads guilty to murder... How to Write: A Year in Advice from Franzen, King, Hosseini, and More... The gold rush at the top of the world... Hulkbuster!

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