Saturday Skull Session: Get Dumped Then, Wisconsin

By D.J. Byrnes on December 6, 2014 at 6:00 am
it's mr smooth

If you can imagine Cardale Jones as the heavy-hitting boss of his own video game... then you have the beginning of a glimpse into how I feel about tonight's game (8:17 p.m. EST, FOX). 

The stakes of tonight's contest need no introduction:

On the City of Marion: I am more confident in Cardale Jones going berserk than I am in waking up. Perhaps this is the delusional psychosis one is worked into after blaring Mike Jones' "Mr. Jones" for 72 hours straight, but I'll be damned if I'm not rolling out with Cardale Jones 1000%. (Look at that header photo... that's a man who came into this season dripping swagger.) 

If you feel Ohio State is an underdog today, don't feel bad for your terrible #take. Feel bad because you're cheating yourself out of the best part of being a fan. 

Ohio State is going to eat tonight. Not to say Wisconsin won't land its body-blows, but it doesn't have the heart to go with Ohio State for 60 minutes. Ohio State by at least 14. Write it in my blood if you must.

Time (ET PM) Matchup Favorite TV Internet
12:00  IOWA STATE at No. 3 TCU TCU (-34) FOX Fox Sports GO
4:00  No. 1 ALABAMA vs. No. 16 MISSOURI BAMA (-14½) CBS CBS Sports
7:45 No. 9 KANSAS STATE vs. No. 6 BAYLOR BAY (-7) ESPN WatchESPN

(All odds provide by

ICYMI: Oregon beat up on ol' Dicke Rodriguez and Arizona last night in the Pac-12 championship. The Ducks are in, and they might be the No. 1 seed. Oh, and Marcus Mariota is your 2014 Heisman winner. (Via @foybj: Mariota is singularly as powerful as Michigan's entire offense.) 

I'd also like to buy some Missouri stock, but I have a hard time placing confidence in a QB named "Maty." The lack of the second T is infuriating to me.

I want to believe Florida State loses today, but I don't think it will matter for Ohio State. All the Buckeyes need to do is play competent and win, and I think ESPN greed will do the rest. I really do. (Do I care if that were the deciding factor of Ohio State leapfrogging TCU? Hell no.)

THE BADGER DOSSIER. Here's all the Badger-centric #content from people more talented than me:

R U NOT ENTERTAINED? Already up to date on your 11W medication? Here are some more words to help you pass the time until tonight's kick in Indianapolis:

Going B1G in Indy

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#PERTINENTHEISENBERG. I used this clip earlier in the year (maybe Week 1?) but with Cardale Jones assuming the reins today... hell, you already know it's true: NOTHING STOPS THIS TRAIN!!!!

Not even you, Melvin Gordon!!!

(< 100 yards on the day).

THOSE WMDs. Headed to Indy? Don't speed, but here are some OSU pregame spots... Complex portrait of OSU's Kosta Karageorge emerges after player's suicide... #SchianoForMichigan... Interesting strat, bro... Inside the world of bass fishing cheaters... The Man Who Created Tetris.

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