What up, Wednesday? (Wednesday is good.)
The big news yesterday was another spring-ending injury to an Ohio State footballer. This time, the injury bug sunk its vile fangs into TE Jeff Heuerman, who sprained his foot last week and had surgery on Monday.
Kyle has the full breakdown of Ohio State's sluggish Tuesday practice over here, but here's some of his quick hits:
- At tight end, Meyer said there isn’t a huge drop off because Nick Vannett and Marcus Baugh have performed so well.
- Meyer: "Josh Perry's turning into an Ohio State linebacker — about. He's not quite there yet."
- Meyer said he doesn't feel student-athletes are employees. But he's always believed students should get a stipend. Meyer said he agrees with the 20-hour per week rule for players. Once you leave the facility, though, it takes more than that to be successful, which is why guys watch film, use iPads, etc.
TROLLOLOLOL. u/Plash apparently worked at a Cleveland-area bar that required him to wear Ohio State gear on certain fall Saturdays. It was a problem because Plash detests Ohio State and everything for which it stands.
He put the call out to /r/CFB to design a shirt that subtly mocks Ohio State. The masses did not disappoint. This was the winning ticket:
Unfortunately he allegedly wore it last season and has already left the bar on his own terms:
And I did wear it on every Saturday that I had to work. And I was not fired. I got a non-service industry job in December and left on my own terms.
My managers or GM (who I was most afraid would find out and take action), never noticed. When I first got it I had a moment of panic when my GM commented, "I can't believe we're letting you get away with wearing that shirt." I realized though that she was referring to the fact that it simply said Urban Meyer and not Ohio State. She either didn't see the back or didn't understand the reference.
[...]
There was only one table that outright called me out for it, but they loved it. It was a group of young dads with their kids who got together to watch the game. All were decked out in scarlet and grey. As I was getting drinks one of them said "So wait what's the back of your jersey say?", I turned around and they started laughing. "We'll be taking 10% off your tip for that." "But doubling it for the creativity."
Must've been some fake-ass Buckeyes, because I would have docked 140% of that guy's tip. That's what he deserves for playing with people's emotions.
Matterfact, not only is that dude losing 140% of his tip, but I'm also complaining to his manager that he cussed me in front of my son. (I don't have a son.)
TERRY BOWDEN ENDORSES THE VEST. If the University of Akron's trustees are worth their weight in unboiled Ramen Noodles, Jim Tressel will be Akron's next president. (His application can be found over here.)
Terry Bowden, Akron's football coach, also thinks making Jim Tressel campus kingpin is a swell idea. From the Alliance Review:
"I'd like to see (Tressel) get [the presidency]," Bowden endorsed. "He can build a program. He can lead. He knows how to activate the morale of a university."
Jim Tressel deserves to do as he likes as he hurdles towards blissful retirement, but I hope we haven't seen the last of the Vest prowling the sidelines.
If he gets the Akron job, that could be curtains on those hopes, however. Jim Tressel has never been much of a quitter, and I don't see him taking the presidency simply to keep the seat warm.
THESE Ls WONT CATCH THEMSELVES, BERT. Bert Bielema is coming off an historic season at Arkansas. Under the guidance of the third highest-paid coach in America, the Razorbacks went 0-8 in the SEC for the first time in school history.
The good news history will be easier to achieve: the schedule is even harder in 2014. From FootballScoop.com:
Top Five Toughest Schedules
- Arkansas - 103-54 (.656) opponent 2013 record; 2013 bowl opponents: 10
- Virginia - 102-54 (.654); 2013 bowl opponents: 10
- Tennessee - 101-54 (.652); 2013 bowl opponents: 9
- Notre Dame - 103-56 (.648); 2013 bowl opponents: 10
- Texas A&M - 100-55 (.641); 2013 bowl opponents: 8
Like a cockroach infestation, Bert Beliema refuses to go away quietly, so if anybody is up to matching the historical expectations placed upon his team, it's our old friend Bert Bielema. We wish him all the best in his quest.
IT'S STILL HAPPENING. Please let this mark the beginning of the terminal stages of Nick Saban's empire in Tuscaloosa:
Today's @TheCrimsonWhite says what we've all been thinking about the Lane Kiffin thing. ( @edsbs @finebaum ) pic.twitter.com/63JDup2a6O
— Kyle (@KFvsTheInternet) April 1, 2014
THOSE WMDs. Washington Post owns some uppity teen... The McDowell family continues their clinic on how not to handle a recruitment... Take that, Anti-OSU boss... Ian Darke calls a date... Purdue's president has some sweet hair... Texas-Texas A&M is dead, says Texas... Ok that's cute... Ok so's this... Photo released by DigitalGlobe gives striking perspective to the deadly Washington mudslide... $50 billion and 10 man-made islands later, this massive Kazakh oil production doesn't work... Child laborers having a smoke break... 17-year-old accepted to 8 Ivy League schools...
