Urban Meyer and Jim Tressel faced off against each other exactly one time during their coaching careers, and the result was a three-and-a-half hour horror movie we will not revisit today.
Rather, today we'll entertain a hypothetical matchup. Imagine if Jim Tressel could assemble a team of his best players as they were in the prime of their Buckeye careers. Then imagine if Urban Meyer was able to do the same.
If those two Buckeye squads faced off against each other, who'd win?
With the help of the heroes that comprise this Eleven Warriors staff, these teams have been built. Just a few things to note:
- There are John Cooper-recruited players on Tressel's team. There are Tressel-recruited players who emerged late and appear on Meyer's team.
- We did not assemble the complete coaching staffs, but important members will be called out here. Tressel's staff is highlighted by Mark Dantonio as defensive coordinator, Mel Tucker as cornerbacks coach, Luke Fickell as linebackers coach and Jim Heacock as defensive line coach (appropriate reaction here). Meyer's staff includes Tom Herman and Ryan Day as co-offensive coordinators, Chris Ash and Mike Vrabel co-leading the defense, and Greg Schiano, Bill Davis and Zach Smith serving as nothing but a night terror we can laugh about in the morning.
With that established, let's take a look at the rosters.
The All-Jim Tressel Team (2001-2010)
| Position | Player |
|---|---|
| Quarterback | Troy Smith |
| Running Back | Beanie Wells |
| Wide Receiver | Michael Jenkins |
| Wide Receiver | Ted Ginn Jr. |
| Wide Receiver | Santonio Holmes |
| Tight End | Ben Hartsock |
| Left Tackle | Alex Boone |
| Left Guard | Alex Stepanovich |
| Center | LeCharles Bentley |
| Right Guard | Nick Mangold |
| Right Tackle | Rob Sims |
| Position | Player |
|---|---|
| Defensive End | Will Smith |
| Defensive Tackle | Cameron Heyward |
| Defensive Tackle | Quinn Pitcock |
| Defensive End | Vernon Gholston |
| Outside Linebacker | A.J. Hawk |
| Middle Linebacker | Matt Wilhelm |
| Outside Linebacker | James Laurinaitis |
| Cornerback | Chris Gamble |
| Safety | Mike Doss |
| Safety | Will Allen |
| Cornerback | Malcolm Jenkins |
| Kicker | Mike Nugent |
| Punter | Andy Groom |
| Returner | Ted Ginn Jr. |
Some tough decisions had to be made for Tressel's team, particularly on defense. Leaving John Simon and Jonathan Hankins off made me feel dirty all over, but it's hard to argue against a defensive line that includes Will Smith, Cam Heyward, Quinn Pitcock (who is easily forgotten as an All-American in 2006) and college cheat code Vernon Gholston.
Linebackers were difficult to hash out as well because there were so many good ones under Tressel. My first draft of this roster included Brian Rolle (stop laughing, I had my reason which will be laid out as soon as this parenthetical novel ends) because I felt the need to get more mid-level speed on the field against Meyer's offense (which is so dangerous it's capable of creating nuclear energy out of thin air).
The offense is pretty straightforward and reunites my favorite one-two wide receiver punch I've ever witnessed live in Santonio Holmes and Ted Ginn Jr.
And now, here's a look at the All-Meyer team.
The All-Urban Meyer Team (2012-2018)
| Position | Player |
|---|---|
| Quarterback | Dwayne Haskins |
| Running Back | Ezekiel Elliott |
| Wide Receiver | Michael Thomas |
| Wide Receiver | Devin Smith |
| Wide Receiver | Parris Campbell |
| Tight End | Jeff Heuerman |
| Left Tackle | Taylor Decker |
| Left Guard | Billy Price |
| Center | Pat Elflein |
| Right Guard | Jack Mewhort |
| Right Tackle | Jamarco Jones |
| Position | Player |
|---|---|
| Defensive End | Joey Bosa |
| Defensive Tackle | Adolphus Washington |
| Defensive Tackle | Dre'Mont Jones |
| Defensive End | Nick Bosa |
| Outside Linebacker | Ryan Shazier |
| Middle Linebacker | Raekwon McMillan |
| Outside Linebacker | Darron Lee |
| Cornerback | Denzel Ward |
| Safety | Vonn Bell |
| Safety | Malik Hooker |
| Cornerback | Marshon Lattimore |
| Kicker | Sean Nuernberger |
| Punter | Cameron Johnston |
| Returner | Curtis Samuel |
Mortals wouldn't be able to get within a mile of this offense without wearing a hazmat suit. Getting Michael Thomas and Ezekiel Elliott back together with Dwayne Haskins behind center is a thought that just made Nick Saban glitch and reboot (because he's a robot).
Ohio State fans would get the amazing chance of seeing both Bosa brothers on the field at the same time with a linebackers corps of Raekwon McMillan, Darron Lee and Ryan Shazier behind them. And a secondary of Denzel Ward, Malik Hooker, Vonn Bell and Marshawn Lattimore could ground Air Force l if it wanted to.
So who has the edge?
| All-Tressel Team | Position Group | All-Meyer Team |
|---|---|---|
| Quarterback | ✓ | |
| Running Back | ✓ | |
| Push | Receivers/Tight End | Push |
| Push | Offensive Line | Push |
| Push | Defensive Line | Push |
| Linebackers | ✓ | |
| Push | Secondary | Push |
| ✓ | Special Teams |
As far as I see it, Meyer's team has the edge at key spots offensively at quarterback and running back, while the speed at linebacker would be the difference defensively.
If the two teams squared off, I see Meyer's team pulling away with a 38-27 win.
