Day the Ninth and Twentieth of the Ninth Moon, Two Thousand Ten and Eight

Seldom in the annals of warfare have there been battles of the ferocity and expensive visual splendour of the Siege of Mount Nittano, such that if one such man of the future using strange sciences to create a play of light and sound would feign to portray it, the necessary funds to pay the performers, set the stage, and create the illusions of light and shadow would surely make a pauper of even the richest patron of the arts. 

The men of Columbus knew even before they came to the foot of dreary Mount Nittano that they had strayed into a godless place of desolation. Ashes piled like snow at their feet, the very air was pestilence, and everywhere hung the odd, sad spectre of unreasonable expectations, arrogance, and drunkenness. Such were the Catmen who made Mount Nittano their home--a savage, oft-inebriat'd, delusional folk who believed themselves equals if not betters to the Gods. 

The Ohioan campaign was at the behest of the great pontiff himself, Pope Urban (no relation), who had called a holy crusade against the Catmen and their devil-worshipping leader, Lord Jamus of Frankland (no relation to Lord Jamus of Winston). Marching with five thousand men, Lord Urban of Meyer did intend to besiege and thoroughly unmake the fortress on the mount. Attacking such a fortification was a daunting errand: built abutting the unscaleable granite slopes of Mount Nittano, the fortress was impregnable from the one side. It's unique (and blasphemous, for geometry is one of seventeen tools of the devil, which also include numeration, jocularity, and writing of a creative nature) triangular construction meant its defenders need only protect two walls rather than the customary four. Owing to a natural spring and underground mushroom farms, the defenders were well provision'd for a many-moon-long siege. 

So it was that the early assaults against the ramparts did falter. Even Sir Haskins of the Strong Arm found no purchase, beaten back by the castle's defenders not once or twice but on nine occasions. Many hundreds of Ohioans lost their lives in the early days of the siege, punctur'd by arrows, boiled in oil, and cut or skewer'd by sword and spear. The loss of Sir Bosa the Younger during the campaign against the Frog-Men was acutely felt, and against counter-attacks led by the ferocious Catman commander M'Sorli, many more men of Columbus were laid low to rise no more, and it even began to appear as if the Knights of Columbus would be routed and smote in the shadow of the dread mountain. 

But t'was not for Lord Urban and his bannerman to perish that day. Even as the host of Mount Nittano open'd their gates to pour out and break the siege, Sir Chase the Even-Younger-than-Bosa did hoist over his head the shield of the convalescing Sir Bosa, and did with this shield most grievously bludgeon M'Sorli. Inspir'd by such valour, Sir Haskins cried out the creed of Columbus, and was joined in full voice by the other knights. With Sir Chase and Sir Haskins at the vanguard, the host of Ohio rallied once more, driving back the Catmen into the gates of the fortress, into the very keep where Lord Jamus did plot and scheme. Though the perfidious Lord Jamus did escape through means of dark magic, the fort upon the mount had fallen, and the day was won for the men of Ohio. 

Their holy mission accomplished, and now much encumbr'd by loot and spoils, the men of Columbus turned from that dark place and began the long, weary march homeward.