last night I was mowing the lawn when I noticed a hot stinging pain on my leg.. then quickly many more.. I realized I was being attacked by wasps or hornets and they had begun flying up my basketball shorts.. tight boxer briefs provided ample protection from the most sensitive areas. As I took on multiple stings in the legs I became frantic. I tried shooing them out of my shorts to no avail befor I decided to dead sprint and skip down the street.. it worked except for one pesky bugger who managed to follow me and pester me.. I don't know if I was in that much pain or just mentally shocked and frightened but I was violently swatting at the persistent one until it got me in the palm of my hand (hurts less than the legs). I am sure any neighbor watching assumed I was on PCP or bath salts.. as I gathered my confidence to walk back towards the house, the front yard of horrors, an attractive girl jogged passed.. I wonder what she thought as she saw the pain and confusion in my eyes as I looked at the scene of the crime and back at her.

I was determined for revenge. I went inside and pulled out countless stingers and drank a glass of water. I was thinking.. what can I do? Will I have to abandon the mower in the front yard? Aha I have some old wasp and hornet killer in the garage. I throw aside my fear and find that the buggers had inhabited a snake or rodent hole. I sprayed the crap out of it. Still hornets/wasps came and went buzzing around the entrance to their evil lair. Not satisfied I put a funnel in the hole and poured some gasoline down in there. I made a makeshift torch and lit them up. I was able to finish mowing the lawn.

Can anyone relate?