The offseason is nothing if not fertile ground for idle speculation, and given that Bret Bielema is just sitting there, ready and waiting to troll the hell out of whatever conference he ends up returning to, and given that his former AD just got picked up by Kansas, it's time to hope and pray that our most corpulent villain returns to the Midwest.
Per Bill Bender at SportingNews.com:
Here's what we know, based on that track record: Bielema can coach, but he belongs in the Heartland. He's renowned for developing a big-and-beefy run game. A landing spot in the Big 12 or Big Ten would be the best possible move. So #BertWatch is on for 2019.
Kansas, of course, could be one potential landing spot if David Beaty doesn't show the necessary progress in Year 4. The Jayhawks are 3-33 the last three seasons. Bielema could theoretically be an upgrade, but he wouldn't come cheap.
Okay, but screw that. As Bender points out, Illinois will likely be looking for a replacement soon, and while Kirk Ferentz is locked in at Iowa until approximately forever, Bert (he of the Hawkeye leg tattoo) might end up on his staff in some fashion at some point.
Look, the Big Ten isn't necessarily better with Bret Bielema in it, but it is definitely funnier. I'm all for that. Come home, Bert.