Wednesday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on July 10, 2013 at 6:00 am
102 Comments
RT @mental_floss: The collective noun for a group of pugs is a grumble.

Does anyone here bike? When I say "bike," I do not mean rolling through the hood on my Harley. (I'm looking forward to an early death, but I'm not trying to break every bone in my body and collapse my lungs because a dog ran out in front of me when I was cruising at 25 mph through a residential neighborhood.) 

I'm talking about the peak of human transportation: the bicycle. Some people don't enjoy physical exercise, the outdoors, or people watching, so I can see why biking wouldn't appeal to them. Yet, as a fan of urban decay, drug-consuming transients, abandoned houses and rusted infrastructure, biking has a lot to offer people like me. 

Columbus, in my experience, is a great town in which to bike. At first, I was skeptical of sharing the road with the mindless masses of Columbus drivers, but as long as you don't bike like an idiot, you shouldn't have a problem. 

My bike cost my girlfriend $10 at a rummage sale, and it was the best gift anybody has ever given me. If you've ever thought about bicycling, I encourage you to give it a whirl. (And no, I don't wear a helmet because I figure I will look cooler in a coma than I would wearing one of those plastic heaps.)

IRELAND IS THE MOVE. With news breaking yesterday of Penn State and Central Florida heading to Ireland in 2014, it appears it won't be the last game played on the other side of the pond. Notre Dame could host a series of games in Ireland, and Alabama is being eyed as a potential foe. As much as the idea of Nick Saban back in the land of his Leprechaun forefathers excites me, I'm not as high on games in Ireland as most of my Twitter feed was yesterday. 

I would be doubly against them if Ohio State ever made the pilgrimage. Home games are a boon for the local/state economy, and why should local establishments lose out  on a game that could just as easily be played in the Horseshoe? Also, some families have to sacrifice their first born in order to attend bowl games, how many college football fans could make that trek to Ireland to watch their team? And remember when anti-playoff foes railed against the havoc on academic schedules playoffs would create? I'm sure Geology homework would be a high priority for a group of 18-22 year old bros overseas. 

AN ALL-OHIO STATE FANTASY DRAFT. The guys at BuckeyeNation had a pretty cool off-season thought experiment: a fantasy draft involving only Ohio State players. There were only four teams, so as you can imagine, each gentleman ended up with bangers at every position. A sampling:

First round: Archie Griffin, Orlando Pace, Troy Smith, and Eddie George.
Second round: Chris Spielman, LeCharles Bentley, Bill Willis, and John Hicks
Third round: Jim Parker, Jim Lachey, Korey Stringer, and Mike Vrabel
Fourth round: Shawn Springs, Will Smith, Cris Carter, and Jim Marshall.

There were 24 rounds in total, and obviously a premium was placed on offensive linemen not coached by Jim Bollman. For my money, Troy Smith was as dynamic an OSU player as I've ever seen, barring the time Florida performed a third trimester abortion on him during a national title game. Yet, if I were drafting, I would want to strike absolute fear into my opponents, and nobody did that like Jack Tatum. (Or at least that's what people on YouTube tell me.) 

RT @markleggett: "Here, son, take this…" *tosses him a fedora* "I don't want you getting a girl pregnant."Archie "2Heismanz" Griffin: OSU Don Dada

ESPN RATINGS ARE SLUMPING. Here's some shocking news: ESPN ratings have been shit this year. Deadspin broke it down for us simpletons: 

ESPN's total-day ratings—that is, its average viewership over a 24-hour period—plunged 20 percent in the quarter over last year's numbers. That's the network's worst result in six years and the the biggest drop for any of the cable sports channels, on a percentage basis.

ESPN2's primetime ratings dropped 12 percent, and its total-day ratings fell to an average of 244,000 viewers a day, down from 268,000 in the same quarter last year, 266,000 the year before, and 306,000 in 2010.

In the first quarter of 2013? Ratings losses all around, again, for both ESPN and ESPN2.

I just can't believe a network that employs Skip Bayless, Stephen A. Smith, Chris Broussard, Chris Berman, Mark May, Jesse Palmer and Lou Holtz is having a hard time holding viewers! WHY HAS TIM TEBOW FORSAKEN THEM?

All snark aside, I don't really watch ESPN outside of televised sporting events and don't understand those who do. I had held out some hope for Fox Sports 1, which launches next month, but then I saw Clay Travis will be apart of their pre- and post-game shows, and I wrote the entire network off completely. I guess it's dark times for sports-entertainment television. 

OSIECKI LANDS ELSEWHERE. Former Ohio State Hockey coach Mark Osiecki, who was surprisingly fired after the 2013 campaign, has landed as an assistant with AHL Rockford.

 JT BARRETT ISN'T BUYING NCAA 2014. Is it because the dual-threat Texan's likeness is being unfairly used by a video game conglomerate? No, it's much more awesome than that:

I admire a man who stands on principles. I for one haven't bought NCAA since 2006, because it's always an inferior game to Madden. However, JT, allow me to present a simple solution to you:

THOSE WMDs. Evan Turner and the 76ers will play the Cavaliers on October 21st at the Schottenstein...  San Fran police searching for person leaving poisoned meatballs for dogs... Talking football with June Jones and Hal Mumme... Complete list of everything Jay-Z has endorsed... Leave it to Woody Hayes to tie together Normandy Beach and the Horseshoe... The Mystery of Forest Swatstikas in Germany... Man runs marathon TWICE in one day...  Mark Twain crafts the ultimate letter of complaint... The greatest literary takedowns of all time...  

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