Skull Session: Tyreke Smith Could Be the Next Great Ohio State Pass Rusher, Lane Kiffing Gave Away a Play That Led to an Interception, and Script Ohio Could Be Social Distanced

By Kevin Harrish on June 22, 2020 at 4:59 am
The Incomparable.

Folks, it's officially wedding week. I'm obviously excited for the day arrive to introduce the world to the stunning Mrs. Harrish, but also because at times my attempts at wedding planning have strongly resembled this:

Word of the Day: Obviate.

 NEXT MAN UP. The bad news is, Ohio State has to replace Chase Young a year after also replacing Nick Bosa. The good news is, Larry Johnson's unit is still stacked with monsters.

Behold, Tyreke Smith.

And if he doesn't step up as Ohio State's resident quarterback killer, that's fine – there's also a five-star sophomore who's 6-foot-5, 250 pounds and runs a 4.47 40-yard dash.

There are options!

 THANK YOU, MR. FRESHWATER. Folks, it looks like we might owe Lane Kiffin a Christmas card.

The best part is that if you look at the sidelines just before that interception, he was doing his patented premature sideline celebration. The dude earnestly believed it was about to be a touchdown after he told the defense the play call. How wholesome!

Lane Kiffin

The counter explanation could be that he was shaving points and the result of this play was exactly what he wanted – thus, the cheer. Either way, he's a Buckeye hero now.

 FOLKS, MEECHIE JOHNSON. Meechie Johnson's recruiting rankings dipped quite a bit after his injury, but I've got a strong hunch he'll be climbing the rankings in the coming months.

Also, what do I need to do to have that play-by-play guy narrate my life? Colin informed me that he dropped an "awesome sauce" in his analysis earlier in the broadcast and that's all I needed to hear.

Y'all can have Gus Johnson, I'm all in on this fellow.

 SOCIAL-DISTANCED SCRIPT. Nothing's going untouched by COVID-19, and that includes The Incomparable. Folks, prepare yourselves for a social-distanced rendition of Script Ohio this fall.

With fewer than 100 days left until the Buckeyes are scheduled to open the football season on Labor Day weekend, marching band director Chris Hoch said the iconic loop formation might appear differently this season.

To follow social-distancing guidelines that urge people to maintain 6 feet of separation in an effort to slow the spread of the virus, he said band members could be asked to space out.

Last year, 228 members and two drum majors spread across 50 yards on about one half of the field to create Script Ohio. This fall, Hoch envisions that the formation could be stretched to allow extra space between individuals, or involve fewer members while taking up the same slice of the field.

Not everything, though, will change.

“It would still spell Ohio and it would still be the same shape,” Hoch said. “We want to make sure that tradition continues no matter what.”

Honestly, at this point, if we just get to see The Incomparable in any capacity that doesn't involve a Zoom call, I'll consider it a win. 

 YELLOW JERSEY READY. If you want to feel even more of a lard glob while trying to recover from back-to-back nights of bachelor party related festivities, try checking Twitter to learn that while you were sleeping, another human being biked a cool 65 miles.

I made peace with it by internally conceding that I will never be able to put myself in the same category as Brian Hartline in any physical activity. It's freeing, really, just admitting that you're worse than someone and blissfully moving on with your life.

 SONG OF THE DAY. "Pathetic" by blink-182.

 NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. An apartment complex evicted a woman, not realizing she was dead inside her unit for at least 3 weeks... A death row inmate has been waiting 18 months for DNA test results that could prove his innocence... A police officer crashes after an owl flies into his car and starts pecking him... A company wants to pay someone $10,000 to poop for three months... The social codes of the crazy rich...

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