It should be signed into law that none of my favorite sports teams are ever permitted to play on the road against Iowa ever again.
Word of the Day: Assiduous.
FREAK OF NATURE. What if the most dominant player in college football was playing out of position this whole time? Because after watching Chase Young's quickness and ball skills, I'm fully convinced he would have been a matchup disaster at tight end.
What are the odds Dwayne Haskins throws at least one touchdown pass to Chase Young in the next decade? Cause I'll take "YES" for anything better than even money. If JJ Watt can do it, so can Chase Young.
LIKE A FIRST-ROUND PICK. My loyal readers know I've been conducting the Damon Arnette hype train since he was getting lambasted online for deciding to return for his seniors season.
And let me tell you, it's validating as hell to scroll through my Twitter feed and see all these NFL Draft knowers now dishing their "Damon Arnette is actually extremely good" takes. Like this one:
Ohio State CB Damon Arnette is one of the most pleasant surprises of 2020 #NFLDraft film work this year— Benjamin Solak (@BenjaminSolak) February 19, 2020
Comfort in press coverage
Locates football first
Plays through catch point with *aggression!*
Indiana (2019) is Round 1 caliber film! pic.twitter.com/3B0EQ237Hh
And it's not he's a one-season-wonder, either, despite what the narrative seems to be.
He was a four-year first-team player that's played three different corner positions in three noticeably defenses across his five-year career. He was also a first-teamer in *two* of the most dominant Buckeye secondaries in Ohio State history, at different cornerback positions.
If we're honest, I talk out my ass more often than not, but in this case, I'm very serious and very correct. He's one of the most versatile and experienced corners in this draft class and some team is going to get an absolute steal if he slips anywhere past the middle of the second round.
CO2. Ohio State's nickname game took a big hit with The Predator taking his talents to the NFL, but Chris Olave is doing his part to be the next man up, rolling out a new nickname with his number switch.
It's not enough to pass Big Thanos (Dawand Jones) or Fat Boy (Miyan Williams), but I'm already getting a little titillated thinking about Gus Johnson using it on the call next year.
“TOUCHDOWN, BUCKEYES..... SEE. OH. TWO.”
THE FIRST MILLION. They always say the first million's the hardest. As Dwayne Haskins found out, it's also the easiest to spend.
Despite your best efforts, oh loyal readers of my free Internet words, I don't think I will ever have to worry about how to spend my first million.
However, if Jeff Bezos happens to hit up the wrong Venmo account one day or something like that, the first thing I would do is give back to my beloved alma mater by opening an Arby's on High Street. It's unreasonable and irresponsible that students have to drive at least 10 minutes from campus to acquire the world's most delicious fast food meal.
NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. A police department is disbanded and the chief protests by walking home in his underwear... The great Buenos Aires bank heist... A phone uses artificial intelligence to block naked selfies from being taken... A developer finds that USB-C chargers are 563 times faster than Apollo 11's computer... Newlywed police officers cut a date night short to stop an armed robber at a restaurant... Al Michaels says he landed the "Miracle on Ice" assignment because he'd called a single hockey game before, and nobody else had called any.