Skull Session: Big Nut Distances Himself from Buck-I-Guy, Recruits on the State of the Big Ten, and Ohio State's Interest in a 370-Pound 8th Grader

By D.J. Byrnes on May 10, 2018 at 4:59 am
Dwayne Haskins dives for the May 10 2018 Skull Session

Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

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Interviewed gregarious Columbus entrepreneur J.B. Shugarts last night. He sends warm regards to Buckeye fans worldwide.

Look for my piece early next week.

ICYMI:

Word of the Day: Grawlix.

 DARK KNIGHT RISES. There may be no more controversial item in Buckeye Kingdom than superfans. Are they good? Are they bad? It's tough to say.

Buck-I-Guy, the first man to ever find an "I" in the spelling of "buckeye," caused a furor last week when he signed an Earle Bruce memorial photo meant for former players and coaches.

Jon Peters, aka "Big Nut," whom Ramzy described last week as "the bald one with decals on his jowls," wants you to know he disagrees with the actions of his brethren.

From David Briggs of The Toledo Blade:

“I definitely do not condone his actions,” Jon Peters told me the other day. “Totally out of line and wrong.”

...

He has nothing against Chubb, who, for the record, he has seen do good, too. He said simply, “I try to go to that extra mile to make sure I never set a bad example.”

“We all have a responsibility as Buckeye fans, not just super fans,” Peters said. “When somebody remembers the name Big Nut, I want them to remember him as a class guy, a good fan. That’s why we do our scholarship program. There are more things in life than painting your face and going to football games. It’s priceless to watch your team win, but it’s not about being a super fan. It’s about being a super humanitarian.”

"It's not about being a super fan. It's about being a super humanitarian." — Is Big Nut talking shit about Buck-I-Guy or vying for a Nobel Peace Prize? What an enigma. I'll now spend the rest of the day thinking about that quote (as soon as I finish this article).

 #BRAND STILL STRONG. We love to start our days bickering about Ohio State football like our opinions mean something. Actually, the only Buckeye football opinions that matter belong to the #teens that could one day play for them.

So how do tomorrow's stars from the midwest see the Big Ten? You might be surprised to learn the Buckeye #brand remains strong in the eyes of the youth.

From rivals.com:

Who will win the Big Ten?
“This year? I could see a couple of teams doing it, but I think Ohio State might be big this year. I think maybe it’s going to be Purdue, though." – Rivals250 safety 
Marvin Grant

On who will surprise?
“Rutgers. I really think they’re getting some good players right now. They are getting better.” – Ohio State 2019 commit Doug Nester 

Who's at their school longer, Jim Harbaugh or Urban Meyer?
“Probably Urban Meyer. I think he’s going to be there forever. It seems like Michigan fans aren’t really happy with Harbaugh. And I know it really doesn’t matter with the fans or what they say, but it just seems like they aren’t really that happy with him.” – 2021 offensive lineman Raheem Anderson.

...

“Urban Meyer. The way he runs that program is great and the consistency is there. He’s not going anywhere.” – Grant

Raheem Anderson seems to know something about Urban Meyer's longevity. Perhaps they show visiting recruits the hyperbaric chamber that will keep Meyer's heart beating into the third millennia. 

Honestly that sounds exhausting, but I'm happy for my mediocre descendants that will get to know the joy that is cheering for a Meyer-coached team.

Also, Rutgers surprising the Big Ten isn't as far fetched as it sounds. I'd be shocked if they won two games, which could happen!

 AN ABSOLUTE UNIT. Kiyaunta Goodwin is an 8th grader who is already the size of an NFL lineman. Even crazier, he does not move like a drunken sloth.

From bleacherreport.com:

As Goodwin shifts his 6'7", 370-pound body, the 10 a.m. bell rings. Wearing a bright purple collared shirt and tan khakis, he walks toward the door, holding the black case that houses his bass clarinet in his left hand. His size 18 shoes and long strides reach the doorway in a matter of steps. He's a foot taller and 200 pounds heavier than anyone in the room.

As he exits, it's easy to see why Goodwin already has five verbal football scholarship offers—including one from Georgia, one of the hottest college football programs in the country. Local schools Louisville, Kentucky and Western Kentucky have offered as well.

They see what cannot be unseen: that this eighth-grader is already larger than most NFL linemen. He's taller than large college players and even NFL Hall of Fame lineman Anthony Munoz.

Good news! This awe-inspiring lad visited Ohio State last month and made Thayer Munford's jersey look like it belonged to a beefy baby:

There is more to offensive line play than prodigal size, and I worry about the health ramifications for a boy already pushing 400 pounds. That all goes away if Meyer makes an offer.

 GUNS UP? Joe Burrow seems to be closing on LSU or Cincinnati. But maybe a dark horse looms?

From The Athletic ($):

3. Texas Tech: Maybe this one sounds a little different considering Texas Tech is known for throwing the football 100 times a game, but Ohio State did have some offensive concepts borrowed from Oklahoma State, which plays a similar brand of football. With Nic Shimonek and his 3,963 yards and 33 touchdowns gone, Texas Tech is looking for a new quarterback to take over Kliff Kingsbury’s new offense. Junior McLane Carter is considered the front-runner as things stand right now, but Burrow’s arm and ability in designed runs could help Texas Tech find its offensive potential. And for a kid who just wants to play, Burrow would get to chuck it around and have a blast.

Texas Tech ain't winning shit. If I'm Burrow, LSU seems like the easy choice because Texas Tech or Cincinnati won't make the playoffs.

Sure, LSU isn't known as a QB hotbed. But if Burrow were to declare for the 2019 draft, dumping Alabama would go a long way in the eyes of NFL teams parsing a spread quarterback with only one year of film.

 ZEKE BACK ON THE WARPATH. Ezekiel Elliott disappointed me, one of 10 million fantasy owners, last season. I'm still keeping him rostered on the promise of a bounce back third-year campaign.

Cowboys "owner" Jerry Jones, the oldest living Keebler elf, agrees with my sentiment.

From espn.com:

"I think that not having to address that mentally and physically, not having to think about not only the interruption of the potential suspension and the suspension but just the physical interruption, the physical aspect of that," Jones said from the team's sponsorship golf tournament at Cowboys Golf Club in Grapevine, Texas.

"But from the standpoint of mentally, there is no question -- I'm 100 percent sure -- to not have that on your mind, to not have the ambiguity of not knowing timelines, those kinds of things, there's no doubt in my mind it will make a significant difference in how he can focus, how he can focus not only on the next practice but the next game and the entire season."

...

"Yes, I think that I give him a big arrow [up] as to what his performance might be without the overhang of the issue he faced last year," Jones said of Elliott, who led the NFL in rushing with 1,631 yards as a rookie.

Sounds ominous for my opponents in the City of Kings Computer Football League.

 THOSE WMDs. Navigating the NFL concussion settlement hellscape... Dr. Dre loses trademark battle with a gynecologist called Dr. Drai... Framed for murder by his own DNA... Hip strip club says it empowers women... How do you move mountains of unwanted weed?

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