Skull Session: Demario McCall the Return Threat, Pros of Cons of Basketbucks in March, and Ohio Drinks

By D.J. Byrnes on March 9, 2018 at 4:59 am
Dwayne Trains hands off to the G.O.A.T. for the March 9th 2018 Skull Session
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Special shoutout to all Ohio State students starting the annual respite of spring break today.

It's a magical time of drinking water, getting an early jump on the next month of homework, and talking with your parents for three hours every night while playing Yahtzee.

ICYMI:

Word of the Day: Purloin.

 MIGHT AS WELL KICK IT OUT OF BOUNDS. A specter is haunting Big Ten defenses—the specter of Demario McCall returning punts and kickoffs. Convalesced after an injury-plagued redshirt campaign, the greatest footballer in Ohio State history is embracing his new role.

The Buckeyes haven't returned a kickoff since 2010. For an idea of how long ago that was, here's the year's No. 1 song:

Yikes. I now remember why meth was so prevalent back then.

Thankfully, McCall is en route, and he's been studying tape of Devin Hester and Dante Hall.

From scout.com:

McCall says he's embraced that pressure from Meyer, and he's been told all the same things behind closed doors. He has goals laid out ahead of him – both as a returner and as an H-back – and he plans to hit those marks.

McCall said he's confident he'll have "a couple" touchdown returns this season, crediting the guys who will be blocking for him, and, now that he's healthy, he feels he can show the skillset that made him a fan favorite before setting foot on campus.

"I feel like now that I'm healthy I can definitely show who I am," McCall said.

We need all grandmas with Buckeye tendencies to start a prayer email chain in the name of McCall's ligaments. His health is the only thing that can stop this train.

 SOME GOOD. SOME BAD. Well, the rumors of a nationwide basketball tournament appear to be true. According to my sources, an obscure cabal will release the only power rankings that matter this Saturday Sunday.

Ohio State is a flawed team. But it can still raise some ruckus against any team that isn't Penn State.

Here's a look at both sides of the coin, via Sports Illustrated:

13. OHIO STATE (24–8)

Pro: Penn State is likely not making the NCAA tournament, so at least the Buckeyes can’t lose to a team four times in one season. But on a more serious note, this is a team probably getting a bit overlooked. Ohio State is one of just a few teams with no red flags based off Luke Winn’s 2017 look at a Final Four team’s profile. While its offense and efficiency margin are a bit below the median, they don’t cross into outliers, and they have the Big Ten Player of the Year in Keita Bates-Diop.

Con: The Buckeyes don’t want to get into a track meet, as their transition defense is remarkably poor, ranking in the 8th percentile per Synergy Sports. They’re much better in the half court and excellent late in the shot clock, so they’re going to want to slow teams down and play at their pace. Depending on the matchups, this could either play into their hands or present a difficult challenge.

After years of exile, the only result that would truly leave a bitter taste in my mouth would be a 30-point loss to Niagra in Boise. Any other result will feel like losing a stranger's $20 bill on roulette in a speakeasy. 

The lack of transition defense concerns me, only because the Big Dance ain't usually a slow waltz under the watchful eye of a sober chaperone.

I don't know how deep Ohio State goes. (I cant believe I get paid to do this, either.) I just know it's going to be fun.

 WHY TAILGATE WHEN YOU CAN BUY A HOUSE. As the member of the generation pimped to loansharks for tuition money, nothing warms my heart like stories about retirees eschewing vacation homes for ones closer to their alma mater so they can get drunk on game day and stagger to basketball games.

From The Wall Street Journal:

When it comes to a vacation retreat, most home buyers pick somewhere they can sunbathe, ski or play golf. Janet and Dave Murfin chose somewhere they can watch basketball.

The Murfins—both alumni of the University of Kansas—bought and remodeled a circa-1940 colonial home in Lawrence, across the street from the university’s campus. From there, they can cheer on the Jayhawks.

“It’s our game-day house, and we are so excited to have it—we go to all the football games, and probably three-fourths of the basketball games,” said Ms. Murfin.

No, I am not jealous. Why would you accuse me so? I would gladly accept an invite to a kegger at the Murlins and definitely not steal their Civil War silverware.

 MATTA MOVING TO THE POOR MAN'S COLUMBUS? Yesterday, Pitt reportedly shitcanned men's basketball coach Kevin Stallings. That could clear the way for the hiring of Thad Matta.

Local media was quick to connect the dots, too.

From post-gazette.com:

Why it would work: Matta is the winningest coach in Ohio State history, leading the Buckeyes to two Final Fours, five Big Ten regular-season championships and a 337-123 record in his 13 seasons there. While he was doing so at a bigger school with more resources, Matta is a strong recruiter who brought in and helped develop the likes of Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Evan Turner, D’Angelo Russell and Jared Sullinger. Maybe most important, there’s a professional tie to Pitt AD Heather Lyke, as she worked at Ohio State while he was leading the Buckeyes to those heights.

Why it wouldn’t: The biggest concern with Matta, beyond the regression in his final few years that led to his firing in 2017, is his health. Though only 50, he has suffered for years from the effects of a botched back procedure in 2007, which caused him to walk with a limp and have difficulty walking up and down stairs. It’s the kind of condition that may make a return to coaching highly improbable. A recent ESPN report, however, noted Matta has met with Mississippi about its vacancy, is in much better shape physically and would return to coaching for the right job.

No wonder Matta pulled the rip cord in Mississippi. Also of note, Pitt's AD reportedly met with Chris Jent:

Probably more of a "Do you think Thad would be interested?" rather than a "want to coach Pittsburgh?" type of meeting.

 OHIO: WE'RE NOT THE DRUNKEST. Perhaps you're not thinking about drinking 1,000 beers as soon as you clock off at 10 a.m. today. If not, consider that Ohio stands four slots behind Michigan in the only quality-of-life stat that means anything in 2018:

From usatoday.com:

14. Ohio
Adults drinking excessively: 19.2%
Alcohol-related driving deaths: 34.3% (14th highest)
Adults in fair or poor health: 15.3% (24th lowest)
Drunkest metro area: Columbus, OH

Some 19.2% of adults drink excessively in Ohio, more than the comparable national share of 18%. Binge drinking and heavy drinking are not healthy behaviors and can lead to a slew of health complications and disease, including stroke and cardiovascular disease. Such serious ailments can shorten life. In Ohio, the premature death rate is higher than in most states and above the national average. For every 100,000 residents, an estimated 382 die before the age of 75, the 12th highest share of any state.

Excessive drinking is just one factor that impacts health negatively. Ohio adults also report above average obesity and smoking rates at 31.4% and 21.6%, respectively.

I can't believe Columbus beat Cleveland as the drunkest metro area. Figured an 0-16 Browns season was all Cleveland needed to take that crown.

 THOSE WMDs. Steve Francis has a story to tell.. Stinkbugs are taking over America... A cryptic addition to a long-standing murder mystery... Overshadowed by the opiates: Cocaine makes a comeback... Almost everyone is most creative at the same time of day... The hardest math problem... How many murders can a police informer get away with?

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