Seems like just yesterday we watched Curtis Samuel slide the Brooklyn Dagger through the mummified remains of Michigan Men worldwide. Turns out, it's been 364 sunrises.
Not that I keep track. I remember the Cooper years.
I also remember 56K internet, AOL Internet CDs, Netscape, and other obsolete artifacts of bygone eras that ain't walking through that door.
Some local fans spend fret about The Game all week. Not me. I walk around ready to die.
It's Year 3 of Harbaugh, and Michigan limps in with three losses and a fourth place divisional finish. Meanwhile, a significant portion of blue noses huff their feces out of two-liter Mountain Dew bottles.
Deep in their "hearts," these imposters know the drill. They rented out their dwellings on Airbnb in a feeble attempt to flee the sacking of Ann Arbor.
The enemy's duplicitous ilk lingers around the Big House until later today, like someone looking for a discreet hookup in a public park, in hopes of offing ticket(s) to Buckeye fans that pay United States currency and not Little Caesar coupons.
Year 3, and "big blue" stumbles in with three losses and a freshman with a brain injury likely to start at quarterback. They haven't won an iconic game in the high definition era.
Still blaming refs, too, as if part-time employees prevented them winning three times this millennium.
I'm tired of feigning respect. Michigan ain't beat nobody. Their hearts beat soft, too.
That's why we pinched Toledo off 'em without firing a shot.
***bashes my melon head into a desk 50 times****
I DEMAND WE TAKE HARBAUGH ALIVE.
|12:00||#7 GEORGIA at GEORGIA TECH||UGA (-11½)||ABC|
|12:00||KANSAS at #19 OKLAHOMA STATE||OSU (-41)||ESPNU|
|12:00||LOUISVILLE at KENTUCKY||UL (-10)||SECN|
|3:30||#1 ALABAMA at #6 AUBURN||BAMA (-4½)||CBS|
|3:30||#5 WISCONSIN at MINNESOTA||WISC (-17½)||ABC|
|3:30||#10 PENN STATE at MARYLAND||PSU (-22)||BTN|
|3:45||WEST VIRGINIA at #4 OKLAHOMA||OU (+23)||ESPN|
|4:00||#16 MICHIGAN STATE at RUTGERS||MSU (-14)||FOX|
|7:30||#3 CLEMSON at #24 SOUTH CAROLINA||CLEM (-13½)||ESPN|
|7:30||TEXAS A&M at #18 LOUISIANA STATE||LSU (-10)||SECN|
|8:00||#8 NOTRE DAME at #21 STANFORD||ND (-2½)||ABC|
|8:00||#13 WASHINGTON STATE at #17 WASHINGTON||UW (-10)||FOX|
HERE WE GO ALABAMA AND SOUTH CAROLINA... ALWAYS LIKED 'EM.
Word of the Day: Vendetta.
TTUN DOSSIER. Here's everything you need to know about today's opponent, the team up north:
- Scouting Report
- Film Study: Slowing Michigan's rush defense.
- Hype Trailer
- Game Poster
THOSE WHO STAY... WILL PLAY CONCUSSED? Millions of dollars bet on The Game depend on Michigan's starting quarterback.
If Bradon Peters, who left in an ambulance last week in Wisconsin after getting the consciousness knocked out of him, starts for Big Blue, Michiga has 3% chance.
If John O'Korn starts, it's 0%. Hence....
Let the record show Michigan had three choices today:
- QB with broken back
- QB with brain injury
- Healthy QB
They chose #2. It won't end well for them.
/SALUTE. Billy Price is Ohio State football. He came to Columbus as a three-star prospect from Youngstown, won a national championship, and will be a 2018 first-round pick.
If you were there from the beginning, it wouldn't seem crazy.
Even among Big Ten linemen, his strength and conditioning are extraordinary. When Ohio State left tackle Jamarco Jones was a freshman, the team was being put through an intense conditioning drill that required so many pushups Jones' arms flat-out could not do one more.
"He literally crawled over and crawled under me and started doing pushups," Jones says. "To me, that was incredible, because I didn't really know him. It was my first few weeks on campus. That just showed me early on what type of guy he was."
Price admits to allowing himself a drink from time to time, and coaches and teammates tease him about his Mountain Dew intake, but he's never been in any sort of trouble with the law or with coach Urban Meyer. The worst it ever got, Price says, was when he set his alarm for p.m. instead of a.m. and slept through a workout.
"My fault," he says.
A wildcard not in Michigan's scouting report: Price was the second Buckeye to follow me on Twitter.
No way their vaunted defensive line can match the psychosis required to dance in my realm for over two years.
Higdon hasn't flashed professional like Weber, but he has emerged as the Wolverines' most potent running threat.
Karan Higdon (#22)
The leading rusher on the team with 874 yards, averaging 6.4 yards per carry and has scored 10 touchdowns on the season. An undersized back who has been asked to carry a majority of the workload due to injury. Higdon has very good speed and agility, and runs very decisively. Hits the hole very hard and runs best as a North/South runner while creating additional yardage as a “one-cut” runner. Has good vision to read blocks and find the open lane. Runs patiently outside before sticking his foot in the ground and gaining what he can. Solid pass blocker and not afraid to take on the blitz. Will not be a factor in the passing game.
Imagine watching The Game in 2016 and walking away thinking Michigan won. Those are the illusions of grandeur from which UM's best suffers.
THAT WORD, IT DOESN'T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK. Another year, another senior Michigan exodus without beating Ohio State.
Somehow, proof of beating the Buckeyes one time would leave a "legacy" for Wolverine seniors.
“This will be the last shot, last time to do something on that field and leave your legacy and leave how you want to be remembered as a Michigan player. I’m with my guys and playing in that stadium in the maize and blue.”
It eats at the seniors that they haven’t been able to beat Ohio State. Michigan last won in the rivalry in 2011 and since then, the Buckeyes have won five straight, including last year’s edge-of-the-seat double-overtime, 30-27 game at Ohio State. Michigan also came close in 2013, losing 42-41 at home.
For Hurst, beating the Buckeyes would be a highlight of his career.
It's comforting knowing the high altitude will warp Michigan minds.
#PERTINENTWIRE. Never cared about a conference championship or playoff bid in my life. It ain't about the money anymore, either.
PROPHECY: 42-13 as the cosmic forces of good rout Satan's confederation.