Skull Session: Michigan Man to Call The Game, Tyquan Lewis' Promise to His Mom, and Mark May at It Again

By D.J. Byrnes on July 26, 2017 at 4:59 am
Billy Price dominates a defensive lineman for the July 26 2017 Skull Session
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Props to Jim Harbaugh for eschewing sartorial norms and wearing what made him comfortable during yesterday's Big Ten media days appearance.

Who decided a suit is the highest form of fashion? I must have been sick when humanity held that vote, because some of the worst crimes in the history of mankind have been committed by men in suits.

We're talking college football here, folks. Nobody died. Nobody is in front of the judge. I hope shirtless Urban Meyer shows up in Chicago next year free balling in athletic shorts.

ICYMI: Day 2 of Big Ten Media Days were yesterday, and another torrent of information fell from the sky.

Word of the Day: Denouement.

 OH HELL NO. For years, I have loved the hokey schtick of Gus Johnson. Who could forget his infamous Cardale Jones sermonizing during the Big Ten championship game in 2014? I thought he'd be welcome to break bread at my hearth until the sun exploded.

But it turns out Johnson committed a scarlet sin and has been living among us this entire time. He is a Michigan fan, and worse yet, he will be the play-by-play guy for The Game this fall in Ann Arbor.

From cleveland.com:

"I didn't watch the game, if I don't start watching the game, I'm not gonna jinx them," Johnson recalled Tuesday at Big Ten Media Days in Chicago. "Then I started watching the game and they lost, and I thought it was my fault."

[...]

So Johnson, Fox's charismatic lead play-by-play man, will be the new voice of Ohio State vs. Michigan. 

"It means the world to me, that rivalry, that game," Johnson said. "To have the opportunity to be a part of it is like your real life dreams coming true -- it exceeds your dreams."

I'm not in elementary school anymore so I don't believe in jinxes. Michigan lost that game because they didn't have the heart to finish the job.

Unfortunately I must mute The Game this year, because as we all know, Michigan Men can't objectively announce games—unlike Ohio State alums Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Spielman.

The only commentary I want to hear from Michigan Man is primal yelps of pain while they slowly realize another L is about to crash through their living room wall like the Kool-Aid Man.

 THANKS, TYRONDA! Tyquan Lewis returning to Ohio State for his fifth-year senior season was the most shocking decision of the Buckeyes' 2017 draft cycle.

I'm not complaining, obviously. You can never have too many NFL-caliber players on a college football roster. As it turns out, we can thank Lewis' desire to give his brothers and his mom one last trip to Columbus for Senior Day.

From theozone.net:

“I just felt like I owed my mom and a lot of people just one last shot,” he said on Monday. “One last walk out of the Shoe. One last time seeing me in it. Just different things like that.”

That doesn’t mean the decision came easily to Lewis. It was a stressful time for him. He sat down with his mother, as well as OSU defensive line coach Larry Johnson, and went through his options. The more he talked it over, however, the more he realized what it was that he wanted to do.

“I sat down with Coach Johnson and he talked to me about it, and I thought about it,” Lewis said. “Things I’ve always wanted to do since I’ve been here at Ohio State. It really made me consider it. I really wanted to do those things for my mom, my brothers. I want them to be able to be there and see it on Senior Day. Like, ‘Look Mom, it’s the last time.’ I want it to be that bittersweet moment. To see her with a smile and a few tears. I will probably shed some myself.”

If you want more on the relationship with Tyquan Lewis and his mother, Tyronda Whitaker, check out Tim Shoemaker's #longform from October. It's worth your time if you haven't read it.

 HE GOT THE MAYDAY PART RIGHT AT LEAST. ESPN fired noted bad opinion-haver Mark May in its latest round of layoffs. With college football season fast approaching, May has turned to blogging to get his #takes to the masses.

You'll be shocked to learn he isn't buying the preseason hype.

From maydayupdates.com:

This leaves many questions up in the air about how these new receivers will perform under the lights when it matters. Also, J.T. Barrett? How will he perform with new targets? We already know that if Ohio State stands any chance of returning to the playoffs and avenging their embarrassing loss, Barrett must become a better passer. His development as a passer might be hindered because of these over rated young receiving targets.

The Buckeye defense isn't looking any better.  They lost three of the highest impact players to the draft, including top corner Marshon Lattimore. Same thing as on the offensive side of the ball: Where do they go next? How do you lose your three best defensive players and still expect to be a top team in the country? I know for a fact this is haunting Urban Myer. Holes in the defense are multiplying with the loss of their linebacker core, Raekwon McMillan.

So should Ohio State actually be ranked number 3 in the nation, despite all of these short comings?  My say is absolutely not, but I guess only time will tell.

I want to thank May for the heroism involved is registering this #take. I hope the national media wakes up! The local team should be no higher than No. 23 to start the season.

 THANKS FOR THE LIFT, MOM. Curtis Samuel is a millionaire now, but that didn't stop him from following Eli Apple's lead and catching a ride to his first training camp from his mother.

Just more proof Samuel will have a better season than Christian McCaffrey. (Members of the City of Kings Computer Football League, please delete that last sentence from your memories. Thank you.)

 WELL, THAT'S NOT GOOD. We all know football is a violent game. But just how violent remains to be seen. However, more research dropped Tuesday and it wasn't great news for the sport.

From collegefootballtalk.com:

As the sport at all levels continues to aggressively address the issue of safety for its players, another report has surfaced that shines a harsh light on the potential brutality of the game.

In a new study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association Tuesday, the Associated Press reports, researchers from the Boston University School of Medicine and the VA Boston Healthcare System examined the brains of 202 deceased men who had played football at various levels.  Of those, 53 played college football; 48 of them were diagnosed postmortem with chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE as it’s more commonly known.

Even more startling, 110 of the 111 brains of former NFL players studied had CTE.  Conversely, three of 14 brains of individuals whose highest level of football was high school were diagnosed with it.

Fans will obviously have all kinds of opinions about this. All that really matters for the future of the sport is those belonging to parents of young children. 

 THOSE WMDs. Nalcrest, Florida: Where postal workers retire... A year of "Chewbacca Mom" alerts... A Prussian king once tried to make an army of giants... Showtime at the Alamo... Treasure Island meets Lord of the Flies: Rediscovering the Batavia shipwreck.

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