It flummoxes folks when I tell them I blog about the Buckeyes for a living.
They either think I misunderstood—"no, I mean, what do you do for money?"—or intuitively understand it's a front for my true occupation as the largest FourLoko trafficker in the Midwest.
But if I wanted to make a career out of blogging about the local team, I could. Consider the news that popped off on a random Tuesday in January:
- Ed Warinner to Minnesota as offensive line coach.
- Ohio State officially hired former Indiana coach Kevin Wilson.
- What to expect from Wilson's offense: Tempo and explosion.
- NFL veteran Bill Davis to coach linebackers.
- Four-star JUCO CB Kendall Sheffield committed (and what Ohio State is getting).
- Four-star WR Tyjon Lindsey decommitted.
- Marcus Baugh confirmed his return.
- Eric Glover-Williams said he's moving to receiver, and so did four-star early enrollee Brendon White.
- Tate Martell will wear No. 18.
This is why it's important to visit Eleven Warriors every 15 minutes. You don't want a coworker to shoot you at the water cooler because you hadn't heard about the safety switching to receiver.
(Shootings occur at company water coolers, right? I don't know. A felony keeps me from ever holding an office job.)
WILSON BAGGAGE, BABY! Clemson banjaxed Ohio State, which caused Urban Meyer to go to back to the offensive chalkboard.
But Meyer had his eye on Wilson before that fateful Fiesta Bowl. But there are reasons Wilson was available in the first place.
Rumors had swirled for years that under coach Wilson, the team atmosphere had grown extraordinarily intense. Defenders of Wilson's tactics said his leadership was not for the "thin-skinned," that he is a coach who was unrelentingly tough, but not abusive, particularly for a sport like football. His intensity had built a winning program.
But others disagreed, stepping forward in the wake of Wilson's resignation to tell local media and the student newspaper about alleged mistreatment. One player told the Indiana Daily Student that trainers were too scared to tell Wilson during practice if a player was injured, alleging that Wilson would swear at the trainers in his office, then swear at the players in the training room. Another former player, Laray Smith, told the student newspaper Wilson was mentally abusive and that "once you were hurt, he didn't care about you."
Nick Carovillano, who injured his back, told the IndyStar that Wilson would come to the area where injured players worked out during practice and berate them.
At Ohio State, nobody is bigger than the #brand. Look at how quickly the university severed ties with Torrance Gibson, Jim Tressel, E. Gordon Gee, etc.
Which means Wilson cleared serious vetting by OSU trustees. If they were satisfied, so am I. But I would probably have different thoughts if Michigan hired a coach followed by these allegations. Such is sports.
But I don't think any of that stuff will fly at Ohio State, which operates under a much bigger microscope than the 18th-century magnifying glass hanging over Indiana's program.
I do know this, though. If he resurrects the local team's offense, only like five fans would still object if it turned out he stabbed an injured player in Bloomington.
AH, SOME LUCKY CHAP GOT A NEW SHIRT. Confession: I don't understand championship clothes. To me, the man who owns multiple Waffle House shirts, when my team wins a championship, every piece of gear I own just became championship gear.
But I would have blogged the shit out of championship gear and even tossed you guys an affiliate link to earn my employer some pennies.
Here's what we would've been working with, via sportslogos.net:
That "THE" shirt is obnoxious, which means it's amazing because it would infuriate every non-Ohio State fan.
That "PROVEN" shirt looks like Nike's design team used a generic template before hitting Applebee's Happy Hour on a Tuesday.
HOLY SMOKES. Another thing I don't care about: Fancy cell phones. If it can send a text and run Twitter, that's fine. Go and run that.
But this relic? Ohio State came a long way since Alexander Graham Bell installed this prototype. It can afford an upgrade.
— Todd Jones (@Todd_Jones) January 10, 2017
You need a military-grade cell phone to get reception in the Shoe during games, so I guess the next question would be where in the hell you buy a phone with a cord in 2016? Perhaps that's why this relic endures.
DOWN GOES VEGAS. Here's the only good thing, other than the impending Savage Tiger video, to come out of Clemson's victory: It rocked Vegas' coffers.
It cost William Hill a seven-figure loss and was the "single worst loss on any game ever" for the company.
"It was as bad as a result as humanly possible," William Hill director of trading Nick Bogdanovich, a veteran Las Vegas bookmaker, told ESPN on Tuesday morning.
Bill Sattler, director of specialty games for Caesars Entertainment, said Clemson winning in a high-scoring game produced "the worst loss in any college football game I can remember."
Reading about Vegas suffering heavy college football losses makes me want to resurrect a long-dead President and make a living gambling.
JAMARCO BACK? We await only two more draft decisions: Marshon Lattimore and Jamarco Jones.
Lattimore is likely off to the NFL. As for Jamarco, well, he's still taking evening classes:
Evening classes are terrible man
— Jamarco Jones (@jjones_74) January 10, 2017
Students: Don't fall into the trap of evening classes. They look tempting because they're not at 8 a.m., but there's no reason to take them unless you work during the day.
This doesn't mean Jamarco is back officially. He could still be deciding. But it's doubtful he'd go to a terrible evening class if he planned on declaring.
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