Special Edition Skull Session: Michigan Didn't Have the Heart

By D.J. Byrnes on November 27, 2016 at 4:59 am
Curtis Samuel hits a stiff-arm for the November 27th 2016 Skull Session
Greg Bartram–USA TODAY Sports

Turns out, Michigan didn't want that smoke.

Michigan lost that game because:

  1. Curtis "C-4" Samuel.
  2. It kept throwing with the guy high on painkillers.
  3. It didn't go for two after scoring a touchdown in the second half of the first overtime.

This loss cratered their soul to the point every Michigan Man from the coach to perpetually aggrieved bloggers decided to blame a spot like Lady MacBeth:

I look forward to the two-hour documentary that makes the rounds around the quickest growing conspiracy group in America.

If only there were a way to know what actually happened...

More on the conspiracies later.

Right now, it's all about this Noah Brown block:

I tabbed Brown for at least one touchdown reception. Despite being wrong, that GIF is a helluva consolation prize.

Oh, I forgot the fourth reason Michigan fell short with the chips on the table:

Nobody can say that Crown Royal minibottle wasn't the difference against Michigan.

 IT'S CURTAINS, BLUE. Michigan can create all the tinfoil conspiracies it wants. But at the end of the day, it surrendered fifteen yards on one play to end the game.

Pat Elflein knew it was curtains for Michigan before he hiked the ball.

You know what? I think we need a refresher on how that play looked:

If I saw my reality get pushed into the sea like that, I too would blame the refs. It would be easier than living with the cognitive dissonance created by choosing the wrong amateur football team.

 BACK AND TO THE LEFT. Lately Michigan approached The Game like a dope-sick fiend looking to strong-arm a 32" LCD TV out of Wal-Mart. 

This year, though, they believed they were the cops.

But it switched on 'em.

From mgoblog.com (via @GoBucks2204):

"I'm just sick of "looking ahead to next year". This year was supposed to be the year man. This was the year we had all the seniors and the talent. This was the year and now all we have is another year of losing to fucking OSU and hoping for the best again next year. I'm just sad and wanted this to be our year."


"I'm sitting in a house filled with buckeye friends and family. Literally only Michigan fan here. This blog is my only escape. Don't think I'm not experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions from despair to homicidal."


Refs aren't worried for their personal safety when they call a game in Ann Arbor. I'm not so sure I can say the same thing about East Lansing or the GODDAMN TOILET BOWL OF A FUCKING STADIUM IN GODDAMN COLUMBUS. FUCK THAT PLACE AND ALL THEIR IN-BRED LOSER FUCKING ASSHOLE FANS!!!!"


"I think that's what hurts so I think that's what hurts so much right now. Next year doesn't look nearly as good as this year does. OSU reloads every single year, and even after huge turnover, they're still probably going to be a playoff team.

We're not there yet. By not making it this year, we're still a minimum of 2 years away from bring in this position again. "I want to puke as I type this, but we're just not at Ohio's level right now.

We were the better team this year, but that wasn't enough. Next year, their inexperienced team loaded with 4 and 5 stars will have a lot more experience, and they'll have a clear talent edge. With so many seniors this year, it was clearly a "playoffs or bust" year, and we had a bust. I want to be positive, and I want to be looking forward to next year, but I just don't how we don't take a major step backwards next year. I hope I'm wrong."


"I know I'm going to get negged for being a Debbie Downer, but I really don't care about next year right now when we had all the tools to be in the playoff this year. And guess what? We still lost to a lowly, predictable Iowa team and we lost to OSU (again. Surprise!).

Next year could be an 8-4 to 9-3 year with how much we have to replace. And until I actually see us beat an OSU team that isn't coached by Luke Fickell, I have doubts about us ever being able to beat Urban Meyer. His recruiting classes are somehow managing to get better and better. Depending on how long he stays, I'm worried it could be years before we beat them."

Michigan fans could save themselves some heartache by reading the Skull Sessions. 

 MICHIGAN GOT DUMPED IN ALL LANGUAGES. Shoutout to senior walk-on cornerback Cin'Quan Haney, who used his ASL skills to tell some local team fans about the big win:

Now I know the signs for, "Shit happens, bum juice."

 ICYMI: Go to that Eleven Warriors dot com page for the full breakdown and ramifications from The Game.

 THOSE WMDs. Learning to speak lingerie... Fidel Castro, Cuban revolutionary who defied U.S., dies at 90... Fidel Castro is dead... Solving a a mystery behind the deadly ‘Tsunami of Molasses’ of 1919... The day Kennedy died... Brad Katsuyama Q&A... Return to the rainforest

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