Skull Session: Ohio State 28-Point Favorites Over Bowling Green, Joe Burger's Oatmeal Motivation and Sam Hubbard Tabbed to Lead Nation in Sacks

By D.J. Byrnes on August 31, 2016 at 4:59 am
Marshon Lattimore protects his teeth for the August 31st 2016 Skull Session

Normally, I dread the space-time continuum as it drains my life force. Not this week.

Only three sunrises stand between Ohio State and the destruction of its enemies. 


 BREAKING: OSU BIG FAVORITES OVER BGSU. Despite losing 12 players to the NFL Draft, it would seem bettors are still high on Ohio State's chances to take down Bowling Green.

The game opened up as a 27-point spread and now hovers anywhere from 27 to 28.5. 


UCLA at TEXAS A&M A&M (-3)

If only Warren G. Harding were still with us to make sense of these gambling runes. It seems to me Vegas is looking ripe for a heist.

Still, the Buckeyes should beat Bowling Green by more than 28, but I wouldn't gamble on it.

Though Meyer once challenged a spot in the second half of making Bill O'Brien quit Penn State, it's hard to see him embarrassing his former employer. (Hell, Meyer called off the dogs at halftime of the 2007 BCS title game. Otherwise, Florida wins that game by 90.)

Plus, I can see Bowling Green chucking a garbage-time touchdown that takes the margin of victory from 34 to 28 real quick.

Shoutout to the degenerates that would have a mortgage payment riding on a college kicker booting a PAT at that point. Y'all are braver (and richer) than me.

 JOE BURGER REMEMBERS. Joe Burger could've walked on at Notre Dame and played for the Irish like his father or brother. He could've taken a scholarship at Bowling Green. Instead, he chose Ohio State. And he did so without a scholarship.

That changed this offseason. Ohio State rewarded Burger and his fellow walk-on compatriot, Craig Fada (who cracked the two-deep behind Raekwon McMillan), with scholarships.

Burger isn't forgetting where he came from, though.


“The rules change every year so they’re always different, but I do remember — and I forget just what year it was — we had a morning workout and then we went upstairs to eat,” Joe Burger said.

“All we could eat — those of us that were walk-ons — was oatmeal or cereal or stuff. We weren’t allowed to have eggs or bacon or an official meal, just snacks.”

The OSU linebacker shrugged, then managed a faint smile: “That got to me a little bit, but it kept that chip on your shoulder and reminded you where you came from and where you were. As a walk-on you always have to be strong to get to the next level.”

Those are bullshit rules. As if walk-ons' sweat and time is worth less than scholarship players'? 

Credit to anyone living that walk-on lifestyle. They do it without fame and apparently balanced breakfasts.

This reminds me of a passage involving my favorite philosopher, Marshawn Lynch.


Wertheim: Everybody I’ve spoken to about you has referenced your financial savvy. What’s the source of that?

Lynch: You ate cereal before?

I’ve eaten cereal.

Alright. Have you ever had a roach in your cereal before?


You haven’t, right?

I have not.

If you came from eatin’ cereal with roaches in it before, Dawg ... Feel what I’m sayin’? You wouldn’t want to do that again, right? Once you’ve seen the lowest of the low, you don’t want to go back. But, like I told you before, it’s not me -- I have a good team and some smart family members around me.

Burger is wise to see oatmeal as motivation because oatmeal sucks.

 THAT IS A FEARLESS PREDICTION. Tyquan Lewis beat Joey Bosa in sacks last year. Lewis is a beast, but obviously, that had to do with the attention offensive lines paid Bosa.

This is why I tabbed Lewis to lead the Buckeyes in sacks again this year because I figured offensive lines would soon learn the pass-rushing prowess of Sam Hubbard (or Jalyn Holmes). 

One man disagrees.


Austin Ward: Sam Hubbard will lead the nation in sacks

Hubbard didn’t even officially become a starter until last week, and even then Ohio State hedged by suggesting that the redshirt sophomore might have to share that role with another talented pass-rusher. And, of course, the Buckeyes still have another returning defensive end who finished with more sacks than Hubbard a year ago. But forget both of those things, because the first isn't going to slow him down, and the second should only help him. Now that Ohio State has given his other-worldly combination of athleticism and strength a permanent position after previously using his versatility to float around the depth chart, Hubbard is poised to become the most productive sack artist in the nation. He learned under the wing of Joey Bosa a year ago, he has the benefit of working opposite a proven performer in Tyquan Lewis and Hubbard has the kind of ability to potentially outshine both of them statistically this season -- along with every other defender in the country.

I'm not about to get in the way of a man making a bolder Ohio State prediction than me.

I figured Big Ten coaches were aware of Hubbard already, but maybe they're not. If that's the case, quarterbacks on Ohio State's schedule better buckle up their chinstraps.

 OKLAHOMA HEADED FOR A DUMPING. You might have noticed earlier Sportsbook lists Oklahoma as an 11-point favorite in its Week 1 neutral site game against Houston.

Sportsbook is obviously unaware the Cougars are coached by Tom Herman, who founded MENSA, the organization for geniuses.

Tell me if this is a guy who is about to get his ass kicked in four days by more than 11 points.

From (via GUITONISH):

"I had one guy actually say to me on his way out, 'You know, coach, I get your culture, but this culture is not for everybody,'" Herman says. "You're [expletive] right it's not! This is not a 7-5 culture, Kyle. This is a championship culture, and you're either with us or you're against us. So if you want to leave, that's fine. But after you see all this testimony, why in the world would you ever leave this program? ...

"It's mind-[expletive]-boggling how anyone would want to say, 'You know what? It's just too [expletive] hard, I want to go through life average.' Good. What? You want to do what? We win [expletive] championships around here and we produce really [expletive] quality husbands and fathers and employees! That's what we do around here!"

Herman shows the players recent text messages from ex-Houston players from "that team" in 2015. Former safety Lee Hightower, whom Herman says used to have a selfish agenda, texted Herman thanks for the training that allowed him to get complimented by an NFL veteran in camp for speaking "like a dude."

I want Oklahoma to win because it will set the stage for an electric atmosphere in Norman when the Buckeyes roll into town. But folks, Houston ain't losing this game.

In fact, when I gaze into my crystal ball, I see Herman and Meyer on a CFP collision course.

And no, haters, it's not the same crystal ball in which I saw Everett Golson finishing higher than Cody Kessler in 2015 Heisman voting. I chucked that one in the dumpster. (It lies in rest alongside the one that told me the Browns picking Johnny Manziel was a good thing.)

 TAILGATES ABOUT TO GET REAL. Today is a great day in the history of Ohio freedom. Today, it waltzed into the 21st century.


A new law that will allow Ohioans to purchase beer with high alcohol content goes into effect Wednesday.

The Governor signed House Bill 137, which will lift the current 12 percent alcohol by volume (ABV) ceiling, into law earlier this year.

Under the new law, there's no cap, but beers are expected to be around 30 percent ABV which is far below what you would find in whiskey.

Beers are still expected to have less alcohol than whiskey, eh? Sounds like a direct challenge to the patriots manning our state's budding craft brewing industry.

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