Lifehack: Next time you see some idiot troll insulting Ohio State's schedule... don't get mad just laugh at the last pathetic pebble they have remaining in their arsenal.
ALL RISE FOR THE KING. Bad news: According to Bovada, Ezekiel Elliott is no longer the Heisman frontrunner. Good news: King Cardale now sits atop at the list.
|PLAYER||CURRENT ODDS||ODDS ON 9/2/15|
|CARDALE JONES (QB, OHIO STATE)||7/1||16/1|
|TREVONE BOYKIN (QB, TEXAS CHRISTIAN)||9/1||6/1|
|EZEKIEL ELLIOTT (RB, OHIO STATE)||9/1||5/1|
|NICK CHUBB (RB, GEORGIA)||10/1||12/1|
|CODY KESSLER (QB, USC)||10/1||12/1|
|SETH RUSSELL (QB, BAYLOR)||12/1||33/1|
|DESHAUN WATSON (QB, CLEMSON)||12/1||12/1|
|LEONARD FOURNETTE (RB, LSU)||14/1||12/1|
|DERRICK HENRY (RB, ALBAMA)||14/1||25/1|
|JOSH ROSEN (QB, UCLA)||14/1||40/1|
|MALIK ZAIRE (QB, NOTRE DAME)||14/1||33/1|
|BRAXTON MILLER (WR, OHIO STATE)||16/1||33/1|
|J.T. BARRETT (QB, OHIO STATE)||25/1||25/1|
|JEREMY JOHNSON (QB, AUBURN)||25/1||12/1|
|DAK PRESCOTT (QB, MISSISSIPPI STATE)||25/1||20/1|
Not sure what's more hilarious to me: That Cardale Jones played an imperfect game and vaulted to the top of the list, or that Ohio State's "backup" QB is still in the thick of the Heisman odds list.
If — Warren G. Harding willing — Cardale Jones wins the 2015 Heisman while leading Ohio State to a fabled repeat then I think I will just retire from sports, because it will never get any better for me. (Bizarre to think just a week ago I conceded #QBgeddon to J.T. Barrett. The self-loathing I feel over this comes way too easily for me.)
GET DUMPED THEN, HAWAII. Facts I think I know about Hawaii football:
- The Rainbow Warriors is the second most bad-ass name in college sports.
- They were kinda good that one year when Timmy Chang threw for 40,000 yards.
- I undoubtedly can't pronounce two-thirds of their roster.
Thankfully for y'all, there are actual reporters out there in the world.
Complicating Ohio State’s task of getting ready to play Hawaii is the fact that coach Norm Chow has a new offensive coordinator transitioning the Rainbow Warriors to an uptempo spread, a new defensive coordinator moving the team from a 4-3 to a 3-4, and a new special teams coordinator breaking in a new kicker/punter and new punt returner.
The Bows have a new quarterback, too. At least, he’s new to the Hawaii roster. Max Wittek transfered in from USC, where he played from 2012-2013, recording 3 touchdowns to 6 interceptions. He struggled a bit with turnovers in the opener as well, throwing two picks against Colorado. In all fairness, though, he was throwing quite a bit (38 attempts) and also managed three touchdowns and 202 yards in the 28-20 win.
Joey Iosefa was taken in the seventh round of the NFL Draft, and–in his absence–Steven Lakalaka was expected to carry the load of the running game. However, it was Columbus’s own Paul Harris who was the most productive against Colorado. Harris was at Reynoldsburg his freshman and sophomore year of high school. He eventually landed at Marion Franklin and was second-team All-State after a senior campaign in which he averaged 11.2 yards/rush.
Don't want to seem arrogant but whatever: This game isn't going to be competitive beyond the first quarter.
I do remember Norm Chow running numbers at USC, back when USC was the baddest junkyard dog on the block. He never recaptured that magic during stops with the Tennessee Titans, UCLA, and Utah, but there are certainly worse places to end up than Honolulu, Hawaii. (I've never been to Honolulu, but I've seen the pictures!)
REMINDER: NO URBAN-RECRUITED PLAYER DRAFTED YET. I've seen fecal-caked toilet paper more valuable than mock drafts... unless it's a mock draft with which I agree.
It's a good thing Ohio State is caked with talent, because the flood gates will open in 2016.
The unanimous No. 1 team in college football, Ohio State has arguably the most talented roster in the country, which should translate to several draft picks next spring. Miami (Fla.) set the NFL record with six first round selections in the 2004 class, but the Buckeyes could challenge that mark next spring.
|2||JOEY BOSA||TENNESSEE TITANS|
|11||CARDALE JONES||BUFFALO BILLS|
|18||EZEKIEL ELLIOTT||CHICAGO BEARS|
|21||TAYLOR DECKER||CAROLINA PANTHERS|
|29||DARRON LEE||DALLAS COWBOYS|
|30||MICHAEL THOMAS||SEATTLE SEAHAWKS|
|32||ADOLPHUS WASHINGTON||GREEN BAY PACKERS|
I don't want the Browns to draft Cardale Jones because it'd be a human disaster akin to giving $100,000 to a crack addict, but if the alternative landing spot is Buffalo then I could be persuaded.
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH HOKIES FANS? According to my mom (and everybody else I know that attended), Virginia Tech fans were some of the nicest people in the world.
The one thing I didn’t see from Sunday to Tuesday was any hate between Ohio State and Virginia Tech. I don’t know if it’s because there’s not a lot of history there. Or it’s a matter of mutual respect. Or if these two fanbases somehow vibrate at the same frequency, one only animals can hear. But I’ve never seen so many tailgates with fans from both sides passing moonshine around.
In a crowded bar on Sunday night, they played “Hang On Sloopy” and “Enter Sandman” and everyone somehow seemed to enjoy both songs equally. Nobody got punched in the face. It was great. At one point on Monday, a group of co-eds started walking down a line of tailgates handing Jell-O shots to everyone, indiscriminate of rooting interest or age.
Fans left en masse quietly out of Lane Stadium, and even the Ohio State fans were more polite than usual. Maybe the cats’ mouths were full of canary, and there was no room to speak. Maybe everyone was just exhausted from the all-day tailgate. Maybe the Buckeyes were just returning the hospitality. In the lobby of my hotel just after 2 a.m., Ohio State fans and Virginia Tech fans ate pizza together. The communion went on for so long, another pizza eventually had to be ordered.
Good golly, Blacksburg sounds like it's filled creeps. Not that I'm advocating neanderthal abuse or anything physical, but damn, getting heckled is the second best part of attending a road game.
Is #banter dead in 2015? Because if so Wario is rolling in his tomb at the bottom of the Indian Ocean.
GET YOUR RENT MONEY READY, FOLKS. Tom Herman is 1-0 at Houston, and he seems to be granting interviews to any national reporter, which is a good way to help build Houston's profile.
The latest one from CampusRush.com, however, is a doozy.
One thing that not enough coaches know how to do—but the thing I learned from Urban that is fantastic—is how to use public praise and criticism. By public, I mean within the team, where you can say to one of your best players, "You stunk today," or, "What you're doing is unacceptable." It's something they didn't have around here. We run the program like a family. Families are honest, families are open. When you mess up, you're going to know it and so are all your brothers. You test positive for a drug test, the entire team—trainers, coaches, everyone—will know, there's no whispering behind each other's back. And you can't always criticize the second-team outside linebacker and not the quarterback.
One of our best players is William Jackson III, a defensive back from Houston. Earlier this spring, I called out our cornerbacks: "Last time I checked, William can't play left corner and right corner in the same game. So, someone in that group has to step up." Not long after, one of the corners showed up 45 minutes late for one of our summer workouts (where we can work with the kids for two hours a week). I went over, stopped the corners' drills and ripped the whole group, not just the kid who was late—ripped the position coach and William Jackson, too. Then I went over to the safeties and told them that their group had no leadership. I told the defensive backs that I don't trust William Jackson. I learned from Urban, who is just a phenomenal motivator, what truly inspires someone—he digs deep into that. William Jackson wants to be a great leader. I promise you he does, and when you call him out in front of his team and his peers, William Jackson has two ways to go. Either he goes in the tank or he responds. Later that day I had a meeting with him and built him up and told him how much I love him. That's a little peek behind the curtain.
One thing that I've gotten much better at is confrontation with my assistant coaches. I've learned that it's O.K., you just can't ever make it personal. I think that's one thing that you learn from someone like Urban, or if you've heard Nick Saban talk. It's never personal. It's never, "You stupid jerk, why did I hire you?" The way to handle it is, "You're not doing your job. This is what we need you to do. Get it done. These are the expectations."
Also included in that piece: How Herman once bungled the recruitment of Andrew Luck, his beef with Dublin soccer moms, and a startling admission that he's a fan of The Chive (which, in my opinion, should lead to a revoking of his MENSA membership).
Sophomoric taste in websites aside, Herman's Cougars are 12½-point underdogs to Louisville on Saturday. I've never pistol-whipped a #teen, but I assume it'd be about as easy as betting on Houston to cover.
THOSE WMDs. The History of Franzia... A 1982 double murder and the two men separately accused, convicted, and exonerated of the crime... Two boys used spades to tunnel their way out of playschool... Why advertisers, social networks, and web companies are ready for some football... The Secrets of Spygate... What it's like to run an arcade in 2015.