See Joshua Perry in the header photo? That was me after watching last night's Mr. Robot. It was also me this weekend when I finished Season 2 of Black Sails. (Say what y'all will about my music choices, but my T.V. tastes are beyond reproach.)
OH HELL. Yesterday, I started the day by presenting a scenario in which Ohio State ended up in the sorry-ass Citrus Bowl. Today, I give you the lovely scenario in which Tim Beckman is coaching the Buckeyes.
From Ryan Ginn of Scout.com:
Question 2: If Ohio State swapped coaches with the other team for every game, what would its regular season record be?
I guess I should start by saying that I was the one who came up with this question, mainly because I occupy my free time by pondering important topics like what would happen if Tim Beckman and Urban Meyer switched lives for a week, Freaky Friday style. I have no faith in my ability to actually answer the ridiculous things that pop into my brain, but I’m going to take a crack at it here.
Because of the sheer talent involved, I do think there’s a chance the Bizarro Buckeyes run the table in the regular season if Meyer’s brain is wiped clean every week and it all starts anew. Could Tim Beckman’s Ohio State beat Urban Meyer’s Ohio State? Let’s agree that we wouldn’t bet on it. But Meyer has to use Tim Beckman’s Illinois in this scenario, and one cupboard is a little more full than the other. Looking through the schedule, I think Urban’s best chance to grab a win as an opposing coach would come when he’s with Virginia Tech or Michigan State. Dantonio’s OSU vs. Meyer’s MSU might be an all-timer. I'm tempted to say Meyer could coach up Christian Hackenberg well enough to get a dub against Scarlet and Gray James Franklin, but I need to see the PSU offensive line in action and I don’t like that the game is in Columbus. For the safety of our readers, it’s probably best to not even imagine Jim Harbaugh coaching the Buckeyes against an Urban Meyer-ledMichigan. If I had to put a number on it, I think the Bizarro Bucks lose two games to Nomad Urban Meyer, whose teams would likely be a double-digit underdog on paper in every game. That alone would be worth the Coach of the Year trophy that he’ll never get.
I don't know how it would all shake out, but this is all a fascinating scenario. And by "fascinating" I mean the idea of Urban Meyer leading Michigan into Ohio Stadium almost made my shit my pants in a fit of rage. (I like Jim Harbaugh, but I like him just where he is, coaching a team that I detest.)
The idea of Tim Beckman leading the Scarlet and Gray into Ohio Stadium just makes me want to close my laptop and never care about sports again.
I am so sorry. Let's just move on.
DURON CARTER COMETH. As a true freshman at Ohio State in 2009, Duron Carter played in all 13 games. Then came the academic problems, a transfer to a community college in Kansas, a stop at Alabama in which he didn't play a snap, and another stop at FAU with similar results.
Carter ended up in the CFL, and after a couple years of production, he's now with the Indianapolis Colts. The DBs of the AFC South better strap up.
Why You Should Know Him: Aside from the ringing Chad Johnson endorsement — he knows Carter through the Alouettes — Carter’s worth watching because he’s a complete wild card next to familiar faces like Andrew Luck, T.Y. Hilton, and Andre Johnson. He’s still competing for a roster spot with last year’s third-round pick, Donte Moncrief, and this year’s first-round pick (and his former high school teammate), Phillip Dorsett, but it sounds like he’s got a higher ceiling than either of them, and in Indianapolis, he’d be surrounded by the right pieces to help him deliver.
It’s popular to call the NFL a meritocracy and assume that talent always wins out, the best players triumph, and so on. That idea’s misleading — surroundings and opportunity are crucial to success in the NFL, or anywhere else — but I can understand why it gets repeated over and over again. Players like Duron Carter are why.
This is how the league works. For all the guys who hit the NFL as first-rounders destined for big things and then deliver on the hype, there’s always a handful of players who come out of nowhere to be just as important. Whether it’s Antonio Brown (Central Michigan, sixth round) or Cameron Wake (Penn State, undrafted), we see these players every year. Think of Hassan Whiteside appearing out of thin air for the Miami Heat last season, and how crazy that was for the NBA. In the NFL, that happens almost as a matter of course. Pedigree is irrelevant for guys who are just an extra fraction more gifted than the most gifted athletes on the planet.
One of my biggest computer football rivals regularly reads the Skull Sessions, but I value my readers more than keeping my draft board from him: Draft Duron Carter. You will not regret it.
Colts OC Pep Hamilton on Duron Carter, Cris' son: "Every day he makes a play that makes you say 'Wow'."— Albert Breer (@AlbertBreer) August 5, 2015
Pagano on 3rd WR: "very good problem to have...Duron Carter was plucking balls off DBs heads like they were peanuts." 4TD yesterday for DC— Steve Andress (@ColtsReporter) August 8, 2015
You might not think Duron Carter as a Buckeye legend if you didn't follow him on Twitter in 2009. (It was the Wild Wild West back then.) But trust me when I say: Duron Carter is an Ohio State legend.
WE DON'T HAVE BACKUPS. #Shoutout to Mickey Marotti:
NFL Personnel director as he was headed to watch Ohio St. Practice-"LOADED. I will see guys that look like starters that don't play yet"— Charles Davis (@CFD22) August 12, 2015
L-O-L to people who cheer for a program where the strength coach isn't regularly celebrated amongst fans. "Do you even know the name of your team's strength coach, bro? No? Then get out of my office and watch your team catch this ass-whipping."
I'll never cheer for a more bonded team.
GREG ODEN TO CHINA? Good golly! THAT'S GREG ODEN'S MUSIC!!!!
The former top pick of the NBA draft will have a one-week workout with Chinese team Jiangsu Kentier at the end of this month. If Oden passes the tryout he will sign a one-year contract with the Chinese club. Oden did not play last season.
Go on and get those yuans.
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