Monday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on April 27, 2015 at 4:59 am
Pat Elflein, Taylor Decker, and Jacoby Boren

It's only Monday, and I'm already dreading the Browns' spectacular failures on Thursday night.

OSU EARNS ANOTHER TROPHY. Somebody might want to get Les Wexner on the horn, because at this point, Ohio State is going to need a new trophy case:

Urbz doin urbz thingz


ATLANA (April 26, 2015) - The National Football Foundation (NFF) & College Hall of Fame  formally presented Ohio State head coach Urban Meyer with the MacArthur Bowl, the organization’s national championship trophy for the Football Bowl Subdivision, during a ceremony at the College Football Hall of Fame in Atlanta today.


Ohio State has now claimed the MacArthur Bowl for the fourth time in the school’s history. The Buckeyes won the MacArthur Bowl in 1968 and 1970 under College Football Hall of Fame head coach Woody Hayes. They also claimed the trophy in 2002 under head coach Jim Tressel, who was announced as a member of the 2015 College Football Hall of Fame Class in January. [...]

A team in the current Big Ten has now claimed the trophy 13 times. Presented to every national champion since 1959, the MacArthur Bowl represents the pinnacle of team achievement in college sports, and each year during its 56-year history a new name has been etched alongside the greatest teams of all time. The trophy, a replica of a football stadium, features archways with space to engrave the names of 100 teams and miniature goal posts.

Douglas MacArthur, by the way, was the definition of an American bad-ass.

In fact, you couldn't do much better than a Waffle House brunch with Douglas MacArthur, Jim Tressel, Woody Hayes, and Urban Meyer. 

My only concern would be enraging Woody Hayes with one of my shitty #takes — "Actually, sir, apathy is cool and good!" — and getting my jaw shattered by a senior citizen.

I don't know what happened, your honor. I was enjoying my waffles — extra peanut butter chips, no syrup, folded like a taco, like God intended — and the next I'm on the ground getting pummeled by an enraged old man while people shouted, "Worllllllld Staaaaaar." 

That video has 500,000,000 views, by the way. My wife left me.

AARON CRAFT: CHAMPION. Here's something unsurprising: Aaron Craft is a D-League Champion.

I assume the legendary J.R. Smith will be suspended for two, maybe three games for his intentional backhanding of Jae Crowder. That means Matthew Dellavedova is on deck, which is a bad proposition for the Cavs fans.

I expect the Cavs to handle the Bulls, because LeBron is still the best player in the league, but if they do lose... there's an easy offseason upgrade available.

After all, here's Cavs head coach David Blatt (who is extremely good) talking about Dellavedova (via's Chris Haynes):

"Delly, you know. Let's talk about Delly, an undrafted player. He had 14 points, 10 rebounds and five assists in a high-level NBA game," Blatt said after Friday's loss to Indiana in which Dellavedova was 5-of-18 from the field with a plus-minus of -15.

"What more can you ask? And he fights his behind off on defense like he does everyday, so nothing but good words for him."

Wait until David Blatt gets a load of Aaron Craft. Matthew Dellavedova will be playing rotational minutes in the Serbian league next year. (And none of his teammates will believe that he played with LeBron.)

TODD SIBLEY CAN DANCE. Danny Clark was named Young Gun at this weekend's Rivals camp in Cleveland, but fellow 2017 commit (and Akron Hoban teammate) Todd Sibley Jr. looks a little too freakish for a guy who is still a sophomore:

Prayers to the future "majoring in something other than sports" kids out there that will be tasked with tackling this powerful #teen over the course of a three hour football game.

DONTRE HITS THE FILM. Dontre Wilson still isn't 100%, but that doesn't mean he can't work on his game:

Jalin Marshall is going outside this year, but Dontre has to compete with Curtis Samuel and spring starlet Parris Campbell for minutes. That's a tough task, even before you factor in the fact he's coming back from an injury. It's a big off-season for him, to say the least.

If I'm being frank though, I wish the "Percy Harvin role" would die out in a pasture, alone and cold. I feel like Urban's offense has evolved to where every skill position plays the "Percy Harvin role" now. (That is to say, the touchdown-maker role.) 

Plus, Percy is an asshole.

OK THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS NOW. The men's and women's tennis teams came up short at their respective Big Ten tournaments, but because this is 2015, the Buckeyes still captured some gold this weekend:

I knew the Year of Wario was going to be good. (On second thought, someone send my apologies to General MacArthur. I would definitely replace him with Wario at my fictional tycoon Waffle House brunch.)

THOSE WMDs. A Son of Football Calls His Mother... Photographer Captures Jaguar Attacking a Caiman... Do Feed the Trolls — to People Who Will Hold Them Accountable... 'People skills' have a dark side — and we're just now understanding it... What The F Is Wrong With Stephen A. Smith?

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