Tuesday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on April 21, 2015 at 4:59 am
Captain Cardale

The big news yesterday was Ohio State's trip to the White House. Cardale Jones piloted the plane home. (C'mon, admit it — I got you for a second there.)

Ohio State's men's basketball program also received a 2016 commitment in the form of three-star center Micah Potter

 AMARI COOPER'S TEARS. This is an hilarious explanation for Alabama's come-from-ahead loss in the Sugar Bowl:

If you read between the lines, Amari Cooper still thinks Alabama was the better team. If they were complacent for a nationally televised game with a national title appearance on the line then they were fools to think they could beat Ohio State.

The idea that Alabama would beat Ohio State in a rematch — which Cooper is underhandedly implying here — is cute. And any Alabama fan (or player) that buys that malarky should go back and watch the tape. There was only one team with their hands on their knees in the fourth quarter, and it was the same team that lost.

URBAN'S PLAN. I don't understand why colleges don't hire Urban Meyer's assistants automatically. Like, at this point, that should be the only line on their resumes: "I trained in Urban Meyer's dojo for two nuclear winters."

Here's Mississippi State's Dan Mullen on what makes Urban's tree so successful, via FootballScoop.com:

"One thing that you’ll see from a lot of guys on the tree, is that the outline doesn’t change. Now how everyone applies that outline is probably very different. I’ve had people come in here and say, ‘Well you run your program very similar to how Urban runs his,’ but if you’re there watching it, it’s actually very different.”

“I was with him from day one at Bowling Green through, so I know the plan works, and how it works, but I also know that I’m not him, Steve [Addazio] isn’t him, so you can’t try to imitate him, or be like him. You have to be yourself.”

“Well use this outline and apply it to yourself and your beliefs of a program, and you’re going to be successful. Guys that were assistants under him, understood that, and that’s what he always encouraged people to do. Just coach to your strengths. This is the outline – it works – and just apply your strengths to that outline.”

I assume the outline is 1) Recruit the good #teens 2) Win championships. 

SPEAKING OF "THE OUTLINE." There's a reckoning brewing in Conference USA something called the AAC:

Charlie Strong is 54-years-old. Urban Meyer is 50. I suspect Tom Herman's agent fantasizes about a bidding war between Texas and Ohio State for his client's services. Herman could walk away as the sport's first billionaire. (You think I'm being hyperbolic, and I am, but...)

MORE CREEPY HARBAUGH STUFF. There will be a Harbaugh-49ers fallout segment on tonight's episode of HBO's Real Sports. Harbaugh will apparently admit he is prone to "wearing out his welcome," but he'll also drop this horrendous take.

From ProFootball.com:

"I heard that if you drink milk that builds strong bones, and convinced myself that I’ll drink as much milk as I possibly can drink," him Harbaugh said.

So as a third grader, Jim Harbaugh said he got a job at his elementary school distributing milk to the students.  The pay was a free milk every day, plus the ability to drink the milk of the kids who weren’t there or who didn’t want their milk.

"I drank a lot of milk, Andrea," he says.  "A lot of milk.  Whole milk, though.  Not the candy ass two-percent or skim milk."

You know who drinks whole milk? People with human body parts in their freezer. I remember one time my friend's mom served me a bowl of cereal laced with whole milk. I should've called poison control and sent her to the clink. In retrospect, she deserved no less.

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