Saturday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on March 28, 2015 at 4:59 am

You. Will. Never. Make. Me. Cheer. For. Bo. Ryan!!!!!

Today's slate:

No. 2 ARIZONA vs. No. 1 WISCONSIN 6:09 p.m. TBS UA (-1½)
No. 3 NOTRE DAME vs. No. 1 KENTUCKY 8:49 p.m. TBS UK (-11½)

I know Kentucky isn't palatable for everyone, but please, I beg of you, do not stray into Irish fandom:

No, Mike Brey. Aliens could be taking the field against Notre Dame and y'all still wouldn't be "America's team."

I hope Kentucky whips them by 50.

THE BRO-LINE. Jim Tressel's offensive lines were never bad, but Urban Meyer's premium on the position ("We're an offensive line-driven program...") has been noticeable.

The Slobs, baby! Who doesn't love these guys?

From Blake Williams of

Projected as a second round pick, Taylor Decker could have entered the NFL Draft following his junior season, but he instead decided to return to Ohio State

Why? If you hear him tell it, a close bond with fellow lineman Pat Elflein played a big part in the decision.

“How can I leave guys like this? We’ve got the slob house,” Decker said with Elflein lurking behind him as he answered the question. “How are we not going to play with each other for my senior year.”

Ah, it seems like just yesterday people were biting their nails after young Taylor Decker's spotty debut against Buffalo's Khalil Mack. Where did the time go?

And I wish nothing but a pox on the house of "reality television" (scorching take, I know), but The Slobhouse would be appointment television. How much food does the offensive line consume in a normal work week? I bet it's staggering. Plus, Mickey Marotti and Ed Warinner cameos would be electric.

Sign. Me. Up.

PANTONI PROMISES EVEN MORE LUDICROUS BLING. How much do you think Ohio State's championship rings cost? I guessed one million dollars a pop.

It turns out, however, I am bad with both money and jewelry.

From Darren Rovell of

Each player will receive $828 worth of rings, said Ohio State spokesman Dan Wallenberg, which is less than the maximum the school was permitted to spend.


Ohio State spent $204 on each Big Ten title ring, well off the allowance of $325 per player. The school spent $209 to have each Sugar Bowl ring made, $166 less than the $375 per ring limit. The College Football Playoff pays for the national title rings, which cost $415 each.

Allowances, nice! I love allowances.

Mark Pantoni, though, promised more ridiculous rings in Ohio State's future:

Hopefully Cardale Jones led that creative session.

Mike Thomas, however, is over it:

And some folks said they couldn't wait to see how these rings would be deployed during this week's recruiting weekend. Well:

That's four-star WR Ahmir Mitchell. (Here he is eating wings with 2016's No. 1 overall prospect, Rashan Gary.)

It's good to be a Buckeye.

FARRIS AND SPRINKLE PAY FORWARD. Chase Farris is odds-on-favorite to fill Daryl Baldwin's RT shoes. Tracy Sprinkle is infamous for another thing. They're both solid dudes and great representatives of our favorite university.

From Lisa Roberson of

ELYRIA — When Elyria High School intervention specialist Stacie Starr makes a request, her unbridled abundance of energy makes it hard to say no.

It doesn’t matter if you are a former Elyria Schools student, living the college life at The Ohio State University and a part of the national champion Buckeye football team. When Starr calls, you come.

That’s how former EHS Pioneers Chase Farris, class of 2011, and Tracy Sprinkle, class of 2013, ended up in a building full of elementary school children Thursday afternoon at Save Our Children, a non-profit after-school program on the city’s south side. Starr is related to the organization’s executive director, Lisa Bramhall, so getting a foot in the door was no problem for Starr.

Geared toward at-risk kids, Starr said she knew a visit from both football players to the program would be more than welcomed, possibly inspirational.

She was right.

Folks, I laughed at them like most, but I think it's high time to retire the Big Grown & Sexy jokes. Sprinkle is a lot bigger than that.

THOSE WMDs. Via @Denny: Firefighters are tough, y'all... You can now play Mario 64 on your browser... Alonzo Mourning confirms: "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" is real... Macho Man: Wild road from baseball washout to WWE Hall of Famer... 21 things to do besides drink in Columbus... James Harden step-back compilation... Indian girl breaks national archery record at the age of 2.

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