Bad news, haters. Game week means I've expanded my powers, and I will now be writing six Skull Sessions a week until the end of the season.
The beatings will continue until morale improves; may Warren G. Harding save us all.
This week's NSFW Anti-Work #Bangers:
- Stringer Bell wants to know, "Are you taking notes on a criminal conspiracy?"
- Marlo Stanfield executes Prop Joe.
- Avon Barksdale's finger-wag game was strong.
NAVY WILL HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BEAT OSU, SAYS NAVY QB. On Tuesday, Urban Meyer was flummoxed by the name "Keenan Reynolds," the straw the stirs Navy's drink.
Needless to say, he's well aware of who Keenan Reynolds is now.
"Some people I've talked to think that [Keenan Reynolds] is the best that they've ever had," Ohio State coach Urban Meyer said this week. "That takes your breath away a little bit."
Preparing for his 22nd career start, the junior is 15-6 in his first two seasons. Asked what the Midshipmen need to be Saturday to beat the Buckeyes in a noon kickoff in Baltimore, Reynolds said, "Perfect."
"We don't throw it much, but when we do we have to take advantage of the opportunity," Reynolds said. "In practice if we've got guys running wide open, you've got to be able to hit it. Coach is always on me if I overthrow anybody."
I think Ohio State will win, but I don't think the 13 point favorites will cover. Media people close to the Navy team are weirdly confident about this Navy squad. It's going to be a formidable test for Ohio State.
Will Navy have to play perfect? Not if Ohio State doesn't bring their A-game.
OSU's OFFENSIVE SPEED WILL LEAD THE WAY. The one way I do see Ohio State sinking Navy is blowing the doors off the Midshipmen defense with speed. That's Navy's Achilles heel; they're not going to score points in bunches if they go down early.
Hey, Ohio State fans, it could be much worse.
The Buckeyes could be breaking in a true freshman quarterback with an overmatched offensive coordinator (Jim Bollman) calling the shots.
Can speed offset a lack of experience up front and behind center? Even if all it asks of its young quarterback is to be a game manager, isn't there enough potential among the supporting cast to at least approach last year's nation-best 84.1 percent red zone efficiency?
"It's a space game," Meyer said of stretching the field and exploiting mismatches. "When we started with our version of the spread in 2001 (at Bowling Green), it was easy to move the ball because it was a novelty. It's not a novelty now and there's some great defenses out there."
That's true, Urban, but I'm not worried about Navy having a defense that can athletically match up with Ohio State if the Buckeyes get their skill players in space. If that happens... it's a wrap for Navy.
GAME: WHICH ONE OF THESE KIDS WILL GET FREE COLLEGE? Hint: It's the fella who flipped to Ohio State from Da U.
The Mountain That Rides? Psh. More like the Mountain That Pancakes.
WATCH JOE BURROW LIVE. Joe Burrow, an Athens High School product, will be in action tonight against Galia Academy. The game starts at 7:30 PM, and if you're looking to get a glimpse at the future, you can head over to AthensBulldogs.org to find the ESPN streaming link.
DID BRADY HOKE GROW A BEARD OR UHHHH. Elliot Mealer, like all Michigan football players worth a damn, came from Ohio. His back story involving Christmas Eve auto accident is gut-wrenching as well.
It's good, however, to see Mealer still carries a sense of humor with him, because this Brady Hoke impression is fantasgreat:
As an Ohio State fan I agree: Brady Hoke has everything for which I'm looking in a Michigan head coach.
THOSE WMDs. How to ruin a mock fantasy draft... The Greatest Upset of All Time... Parasites Practicing Mind Control... Ole Miss laid some lumber last night... OK, Block O, we can build on this... Eastern Illinois-Minnesota got a bit testy... The Troll Slayer.