It's been said that there are two Americas.
They're philosophically irreconcilable and resentful about it. One America is trying to figure out if the picture above was created by artificial intelligence. The other took a moment to examine it before recognizing the Buckeye in the photo as Brian Hartline, and the photo authentic.
Without recognizing who he was, this America could tell by the inferior shoulder piping on the OSU jersey that this game took place either prior to 1988 or since 2005 (it's from 2007). The other America thinks the current shoulder piping is perfectly fine - along with the condition of Ohio Stadium's slit turf, Paul Keels' mid-game narcolepsy and that Caamp song. Maybe. Both Americas are prolific generalizers.
One America is selectively trusting and will Need to Do its Own Research to determine if that's really Hartline, who scored a touchdown as that photo was being snapped. Laurinaitis picked up some YAC himself in that game, which is always impressive when you're a linebacker. Both Americas appreciate college football highlights, especially if their team is performing well in them:
The last time Ohio State played at Washington, our current LB and OC/WR coaches made some of the biggest plays in the game
— Brutus Wayne (@BuckeyeBat) September 23, 2025
James Laurinaitis & Brian Hartline pic.twitter.com/bmB5nhrnyX
It's been 18 years since these teams played each other in the regular season. One America pronounces Ohio State's Saturday opponent as Washington. The other America inserts an R between the A and S. My late father-in-law used to do this with Warshington, warshing machine, warshtub, warsher - wash simply wasn't in his vocabulary. Warsh isn't in mine. Great guy. Two Americas.
You could inform one America that Iowa scored 38 points last week and they would refuse to believe it. The other America would think that actually sounds light, and the real conspiracy is why Caitlin Clark didn't have that many points by herself. Refs, maybe?
Clark plays for the Indiana Fever now and is out for the current WNBA season with a bone bruise, but that's not enough to stop her. She is an American, not an American't. Neither America subscribes to excuses, and damn it - our shared stubbornness in the face of irrefutable facts is something we should all rally around.
Despite so many philosophical roadblocks, there's still so much more than unites us than divides us. We can even agree there are far more than just two Americas. There's North, Central, South, the Beautiful, Captain, Ferrera and Coming to - just to name a few.
One bye week down with another still lurking. This week, it's Warshington. Let's get Situational.
OPENER | START. SCALE. EXIT. REPEAT.
Sept 15, 2007; Seattle, WA, USA; Ohio State Buckeye tail back Chris Wells (28) is tackled by Washington Husky safety Mesphin Forrester (23) cornerback Roy Lewis (28) and linebacker Kyle Trew (20) in the first half of the Buckeyes' 33-14 victory at Husky Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Joe Nicholson-Imagn Images
History has a funny way of either rewriting itself or being rewritten by people who find the version they're being fed unacceptable, offensive, too boring or just not boring enough.
A few weeks ago I was sitting in Ohio Stadium, watching Julian Sayin dissect Grambling's secondary, which, yeah - totally expected. A guy sitting directly in front of me in 21A made the following observation, out loud. I have not changed a single word of what he said:
Sayin is so damn accurate! He's basically Joe Germaine, but white.
A lot of what you hear in life is against your will. There's a list of intrusive observations from Ohio Stadium alone which have haunted me for decades. I sat in a row with a woman in 18C who wondered out loud if Ken-Yon Rambo had been named for Sylvester Stallone's character in First Blood, who was John Rambo.
Washington presents the sturdiest offense the Buckeyes will have faced since the CFP run.
I don't know the answer, but I still remember how earnest she sounded. You get to choose how other people's words affect or don't affect you, and I will admit that 28 years later I'm fighting off a spontaneous coma typing this while thinking about her courage, her pleated jeans and her unwavering belief in the power of American cinema.
The guy at the Grambling game sent me into full-blown physical and cognitive paralysis - I think I missed three plays because of what he said. Joe Germaine, but white are four words which had never previously been spoken in that order. My buddy had to do a CTRL-ALT-DEL on my brain (he bought a round of stadium beers) and I started breathing normally again.
We get to choose however we want to remember history, which makes little blogs like this one historiography. This bye week had me remembering the past four Septembers, which have produced zero Ohio State losses - not just in my opinion, but in the written records of the sport.
Ohio State now has the No.1 offense in the country, and is No.7 in total defense.
— Carson (@cmacrae13) October 9, 2022
Ryan Day brought Jim Knowles in to fix a struggling defense. Through 6 games last year Ohio State was ranked 98th in total defense. I would say Jim Knowles has delivered thus far.
That's a four-year old observation of current Penn State DC Jim Knowles figuring out to do with Kerry Coombs' refugees upon his arrival in Columbus. This came after losing JSN in the opener and having to recombobulate and offense which had him at the center of its solar system.
So both sides of the ball were in a bit of a fire drill - one side unplanned, the other - hell you could see the smoke billowing from Pasadena. A year later, Knowles' September returns were once again stellar.
Last season with all of his own guys in place along with proper seasoning to his Safety-Driven Defense, his unit allowed 21 points during the entire month. They had allowed 24 in September 2023. It was 63 in 2022 and just prior to the tweet above lending then-Twitter some historiography, but that's still more than enough defense for a Ryan Day offense to get the W.
And that part is some history that doesn't deserve a rewrite. Jeff Hafley's abrupt departure after 2019 just in time for contact precautions to prevent Day from conducting a proper DC replacement search created a three-year hiccup on the Silver Bullet side of affairs.
the Huskies have been run over by every formidable offense they've faced since Oregon State in the middle of 2023.
Since then and into this season, the ceiling has been Elite while the floor was, uh, whatever they decided to roll into Eugene with last year, which produced a shootout loss - but more importantly - the philosophical change which suffocated every single offense it faced en route to the dais and confetti showers in Atlanta.
Washington presents the sturdiest offense the Buckeyes will have faced since the CFP run, but as a program and at this point since every player on the roster arrived in Columbus - they're kind of used to this.
Across the field, the Huskies have been run over by every formidable offense they've faced since Oregon State in the middle of 2023. Their CFP year. And as a program, they're kind of used to that.
So for the home team to win on Saturday, two unusual things have to happen. They have to suppress a formidable offense with a lot of headaches lined up at a lot of places, while also finding a way to get past a stifling defense. Hey, Michigan did that. Well, that mental block isn't on the menu for a couple more months.
Washington would benefit from Ohio State playing with its food instead of playing to its strengths, but history would suggest that is about as unlikely as Rambo naming his child Colonel Trautman.
INTERMISSION
The Solo
Last year in an attempt to exorcise the demons of Michigan claiming a national title* songs exclusively from 1997 were sacrificed in this space. This strategy worked marvelously, so this year's theme will be Songs From Any Year Except 1997 or 2023.
Seattle is not a town you just pass through or stop in for a pee break on your way to somewhere better. It's not St. Louis or Oklahoma City. If you're traveling to outside of our Two Americas, sure - you might have a layover. But it's a destination, as are many coastal gems.
An inordinate amount of exquisite music comes from there, for reasons this column is always too long to get into. I remember the day I first heard Alice in Chains - it was Aug 21, 1991 at Blossom. They were getting booed off the stage despite rocking my face off, because at that point in Two Americas' music history - we were still a Hair Band nation.
That night belonged to hair-adjacent legends Van Halen (Hagar, fine) and AIC was in their way. Our Two Americas wouldn't be ready for the grunge revolution for, oh, another three weeks. Got Me Wrong contains a guitar solo. Let's answer our two questions.
Is the musician in the video actually playing guitar?
Jerry Cantrell - the heart, soul, brain, songwriter, foundational co-vocalist, founder and lead guitarist takes care of business here. If you'd like a 10-minute tutorial for how to perform this immaculate solo, it exists, and I humbly admit a hypothetical version of Jerry playing it underwater with his feet sounds better than my best attempt. VERDICT: yes
does this guitar solo slap?
Before MTV devolved into whatever slop it's serving up as the amuse bouche for a 37-course Decline of Western Civilization menu, it showcased music videos and performances. The channel was the longest tentpole in advancing 80s music before becoming indispensable in putting a forlorn dopamine-deprived face on the grunge era.
The AIC Unplugged performance was MTV going out on top - it has focused almost entirely on producing cost-effective contrived reality goo since then. Got Me Wrong is technically a plea from a man to a woman who doesn't understand him, but MTV's devolution has converted it into a requiem for large format music with depth. VERDICT: Slaps
The Bourbon
There is a bourbon for every situation. Sometimes the spirits and the events overlap, which means that where bourbon is concerned there can be more than one worthy choice.
Perhaps you've heard of George Washington. It's not sarcasm; surely you've been burned by assuming normal people possess basic, foundational knowledge of American history - anyway - Washington as you probably know was America's 9th president. A Founding Father and a Badass' Badass. You may also be familiar with his beloved eggnog recipe.
Couture Collection 6-Year, feat. Sherry Cask finish.
We're premature for cold weather cocktails, but it's never too early to begin holiday planning. His standard batch is large enough to serve exactly one patriot. We used to be a proper country.
1Q cream, 1Q whole milk, 12 tbsp sugar, 1 pint brandy, ½ pint rye whiskey, ½ pint Jamaica rum, ¼ pint sherry.
Mix liquor first, then separate yolks and whites of 12 eggs. Add sugar to beaten yolks, mix well.
Add milk and cream, slowly beating. Beat whites of eggs until stiff and fold slowly into mixture. Set in a cool place for several days. Taste frequently.
Letting all that dairy settle for several days is mad lad behavior - would you believe Washington died of an infection? Just kidding, he died of medical malpractice. Just kidding again, it was both. George didn't have insurance, but UnitedHealthcare would have denied his claim anyway.
Anway, the Buckeyes play Washington on Saturday. There's a bourbon for this.
Washington was a Situational visionary who loved the whole bar, but whiskey and sherry were among his favorites. The World Whiskey Society's Couture Collection 6-year straight bourbon series is finished in Oloroso sherry casks. Our mashbill is a hypersweet 99/1 corn/barley pairing.
On the nose, it's the "maple" syrup you buy at Wal-Mart for a dollar, which you're either thinking hmm, cheap or ahh yes, delicious and you're both right. It's short-stack pancakey on the palate and stays that way throughout. It's *delightful* for an occasion, as most LEs are - never intended to be everyday bourbons.
You'll sound like Steve Perry gushing over the character impact that finish had on an almost all-corn mash. But it really bourbon when it's finished anywhere but charred white oak? It's not. Immediately disqualification. Do not rob yourself of joy on a technicality. Spotty distribution, but available online.
CLOSER | THE PEACOCK EMPORIUM
Ohio State Buckeyes wide receiver Carnell Tate (17) catches a pass against the Ohio Bobcats in the second half at the Ohio Stadium on Saturday, Sept. 13, 2025 in Columbus, Ohio. © Samantha Madar/Columbus Dispatch / USA TODAY NETWORK via Imagn Images
Washington hasn't lost a home game since 2021. That was three head coaches ago.
The Huskies were a 6-7 team last year, beating both Michigan and Southern Cal when they came to Seattle. Home field advantage should be unmysterious on Saturday. It will be loud.
Sophomore QB Demond Williams Jr. had probably the best performance of the 2024 bowl season from a team that didn't leave with a trophy - since Washington won exactly zero games away from Husky Stadium.
Williams went 26 of 32 for 374 yards and four touchdowns while spearheading a comeback against Louisville that came up just short. He's been brilliant in stretches - any Buckeye fan spending their bye week watching the Apple Cup last Saturday can confirm - but Williams has also taken 25 sacks over his past seven games.
Ending a home field unbeaten streak that's into its fourth season doesn't have to be exciting.
Ohio State's defense should steer him toward his worst tendencies, but that's not central to making this game less interesting than it has any right to be. Just look at the Cardinals.
They brought one of the FBS' worst pass defenses last season into that Sun Bowl and hung on to win by a point because Washington's defense held Louisville to...right, its customary scoring average of ~35 points.
Bombing the Huskies' still-shaky defense with the Buckeyes' highlight makers attacks both the scoreboard as well as Washington's most obvious advantage on Saturday, which is geography. They have to take out the stadium immediately. Frustrate their fans with a sinking feeling they haven't felt from their seats since Jimmy Lake was coaching the team into oblivion.
Ohio State is equipped to win this game in the 2nd half if it needs to, but it can exert its ability to take control early on if it plays to its defensive standard while hammering its talent and schematic advantages with the ball. Ending a home field unbeaten streak that's into its fourth season doesn't have to be exciting.
Thanks for getting Situational today. Go Bucks. Beat Washington.
