10 Reasons to Hate the Indiana Hoosiers

By JL Kirven on September 13, 2019 at 7:45 pm
10 reasons to hate Indiana.
Marc Lebryk-USA TODAY Sports

There are many wonderful states to travel to in the US. Indiana ain't one of them. Here are 10 reasons to hate the Hoosiers and the state they hail from.

10. Two of our staff members went to Indiana University 

We aren't always proud of our roots. 

I've had the displeasure of being neighbors with Indiana my entire life, but to actually go to one of their institutions? That's some scary stuff.

But two of our writers actually spent time and money within Indiana's borders with aspirations of higher education. They lived and breathed Hoosier culture for four years and guess what?  Now they write about the Buckeyes.

Talk about leveling up. 

9. Mark Cuban 

How could Mark Cuban not see the brilliance of the post-it note holder? 

Cuban, a graduate of the Kelley School of Business, has used the knowledge he learned at IU to amass a whopping fortune worth $4.1 billion (according to Forbes) and hasn't spent one of those dollars to help you pay some bills.

So if he doesn't care about you, why should you care about him? 

8. No sense of style

If I was told I had to wear this, I'd transfer. 

Indiana chrome helmet

7. Archie Miller 

Indiana's basketball team used to be one of the few reasons to go into the state.

Coach Bob Knight (An OSU alum) amassed most of his 902 wins with the Candy Legged boys, leading IU to three National Championships and 11 Big Ten titles. 

But oh how the mighty have fallen. 

IU's had four coaches since firing Knight in 2000, and none have sniffed the glory the program once produced. Now the Hoosiers are led by former Dayton head coach Archie Miller. 

In Miller's two seasons with the Hoosiers, he's managed to just hover over .500 with his pedestrian 35-31 record. Last season, the Hoosiers almost made the NCAA Tournament, but a 79-75 loss to the Buckeyes bounced them out the Big Ten Tournament all the way to the NIT. 

Maybe Ohio State could loan IU another alum to get them back on track? 

6. Dry Campus 

There's nothing better than enjoying an ice-cold beer at a tailgate or during the game. Well, if you go to Indiana that better be root beer you're drinking because IU's campus is dry.

Somebody should tell them prohibition ended a while ago. 

5. They waste talent

Every so often, Indiana will get a special talent that could potentially breathe life into its football program.

With alums like Antwaan Randle-El, Adewale Ogunleye and Tracy Porter, Indiana's had the talent to cement itself as a top football program. But Indiana's a basketball school and being good at football would just throw everybody off. 

Throughout the Hoosiers 132-year history, Indiana has only won two Big Ten Championships and only one was an outright title (1945). It owns the record for the most losses in Division 1 (672) and hasn't won a bowl game since 1991. 

4. Fired Lee Corso 

I don't care what his record was you don't fire Lee Corso. 

After 10 seasons at the helm (1973-1982), Indiana fired Corso after a 5-6 finish in 1982. Sure his.462 winning percentage wasn't gaudy, but Indiana is just bad. Deal with it and smile as beloved Lee does on College GameDay. 

3. The other Indiana schools 

I've been ripping Indiana University a lot in this piece but there's still some space left on this countdown to spread the hate. All the universities in Indiana can get some of this action. 

Indiana State: It's been 40 years since Larry Bird, you can find another good basketball player.

Purdue: Ohio State leads the all-time record 38-15-2 but go ahead and milk your little upset for all its worth. 

Notre Dame: Why aren't you in the Big Ten again? Oh yeah, it's because you're greedy, which is a sin by the way.

2. Jim Jones 

Flavor-Aid is only supposed to have three ingredients in it. 

Jim Jones was inspired to start his cult-like movement when he was a student at Indiana in 1949. He never graduated, yet to this day he's one of Indiana's most notorious former students. 

After leaving Indiana, Jones started his own "refuge" in the south called Jonestown and with the help of Valium, chloral hydrate, cyanide and Phenergan, he pulled off one of one largest mass suicides in history, orchestrating the deaths of over 900 people.

1. What's a Hoosier?

What is a Hoosier anyway? 

Basically a Hoosier is a person native to Indiana, but as lame as that already sounds, the back story's worse.  

Folklore says that the name comes from a poem called the Hoosier's Nest written by Richmond, Indiana native John Finley in 1833. 

The 933-word poem is a bore but at least it rhymes. 

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