10 Reasons to Hate Cincinnati

By Kevin Harrish on September 6, 2019 at 8:05 pm
Cincinnati is bad.
Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports
45 Comments

Much to the displeasure of Cincinnati fans, indifference is our resting disposition towards the Bearcats. But since it's game week, we were able to drum up some dislike.

10. Gold Star Chili

As a lover of Skyline Chili, I'm not about to trash Cincinnati chili as a whole, but I'm also online enough to know it would be seen as an egregious omission on this list if were not included in some capacity.

As a compromise, I give you Gold Star Chili.

For those of you who don't even like Skyline Chili and have not dabbled in Gold Star, just imagine a Great Value version of that same vile pile of feces-looking cocoa/cinnamon meat you loathe.

9. They (probably) got petty to take a recruit from Ohio State

It sure seems like Cincinnati couldn't bear the idea of losing a blue chip basketball prospect to the Buckeyes, so they got real petty.

From Along the Olentangy, via NBC Sports:

Damon Flint was a McDonald’s All-American that signed with Ohio State in 1993 out of Cincinnati Woodward High School. While on a visit with Ohio State, however, he was treated to a meal at an off-campus restaurant and given a free gym bag — both violations of NCAA rules. Someone tipped off the NCAA about these violations and Flint wound up at Cincinnati after the NCAA declared he could not play at Ohio State as a freshman.

It remains unclear as to [Bob] Huggins’ role in the fiasco. According to the published NCAA fractions report, Flint was on his Ohio State visit with an assistant high school coach at the time. The NCAA learned of the violations by an anonymous tip, or at least, anonymous within the report. Perhaps not by coincidence, the junior varsity head coach of Woodward and an assistant on that staff was now-head coach Mick Cronin. After Flint ended up at Cincinnati, Cronin was promoted to video coordinator for the Bearcats under Huggins — straight from Woodward.

Here's the thing – yes, giving a kid a free meal and gym bag is technically against the rules. But let's not pretend Cincinnati has any room to be the moral police of NCAA basketball.

8. They were extremely sore losers

When you lose a basketball game by 22 points and trail 42-14 at halftime, one would think you would just quietly and humbly accept defeat. But apparently that is not the Bearcat way.

After Ohio State's 72-50 thumping of the Bearcats in 2006, Cincinnati head coach Mick Cronin took the opportunity to cry about how the Buckeyes waited to schedule the Bearcats when they were down, and somehow that was not even the whiniest reaction to the game.

Cincinnati point guard Deonta Vaughn blamed the 42-14 halftime deficit on the Bearcats' lack of familiarity with the rims, the basketballs and the court and said that Greg Oden (who had 14 points on a 6-for-7 shooting performance with 11 rebounds and five blocks) didn't make a difference "at all."

From The Ozone:

"Being a different facility we really weren't too familiar with the rims," Vaughn said. "We practiced (at Canseco), but we had to go from the practice court to the main court. We weren't familiar with how the court is or how the balls are. We play with a different ball and to us the ball seemed a little smaller that the balls we play with. I don't think he (Oden) made a difference at all."

I'm sure this year's loss on their home court was a fluke as well.

7. The Cincinnati subway went unfinished

Cincinnati almost did something pretty cool and good, but naturally they actually just sunk a lot of money into it and it went unfinished and abandoned.

Meet the Cincinnati Subway.

From Wikipedia.com (hell yeah, we're citing wikipedia):

he Cincinnati Subway is a set of incomplete, derelict tunnels and stations for a rapid transit system beneath the streets of Cincinnati, Ohio. Although it is only a little over 2 miles in length, it is the largest abandoned subway tunnel system in the United States. Construction began in the early 1900s as an upgrade to the Cincinnati streetcar system, but was abandoned due to escalating costs, the collapse of funding amidst political bickering, and the Great Depression during the 1920s and 1930s.

In 1928, the construction of the subway system in Cincinnati was indefinitely canceled. There are no plans to revive the project.

This would have actually been pretty bad ass and something Columbus could not compete with in terms of awesomeness. Too bad!

6. Their mascot isn't even real

A "Bearcat" sounds ferocious and all, but Cincinnati openly admits it's not even a real thing.

From Cincinnati Athletics:

There is no definitive example of what a Bearcat actually is. Here are two theories...

The Red Panda, Ailurus fulgens ("shining cat"), which is a mostly herbivorous mammal, specialized as a bamboo feeder. It is slightly larger than a domestic cat (40 - 60 cm long, 3 - 6 kg weight). The Red Panda is endemic to the Himalayas in Bhutan, southern China, India, Laos, Nepal, and Burma. Red Panda is the state animal in the Indian state of Sikkim. It is also the mascot of the Darjeeling international festivals. There is an estimated population of less than 2,500 mature individuals. Their population continues to decline due to habitat fragmentation. This species more closely resembles the actual Bearcat costumed mascot which is seen at games.

The Binturong (Arctictis binturong), which is a species of the family Viverridae, which includes the civets and genets. It is neither a bear nor a cat, and the real meaning of the original name is lost, as the local language that gave it is extinct. Its natural habitat is in trees of forest canopy in rainforest of Vietnam, Malaysia, Indonesia and Palawan Island. In past years a live Binturong has been present at UC Athletics event, namely a former resident of the Cincinnati Zoo, who is now deceased.

They adopted the name after one of their running backs in 1914 who was named Leonard K. "Teddy" Baehr. While playing Kentucky, a cheerleader came up with the (extremely lame) chant: "They may be Wildcats, but we have a Baehr-cat on our side."

Basically, the nickname eventually caught on and they just searched for creatures that vaguely looked like both bears and cats to serve as their mascot.

5. Hail to the Victors

Cincinnati's favorite son, Nick Lachey, once spent a considerable amount of time learning Michigan's fight song for an ESPN segment.

As if that crime wasn't heinous enough, the segment ended with Desmond Howard singing The Victors in the 'Shoe.

And Lachey – and by extension, the entire city of Cincinnati – was to blame.

4. Charles Manson

I understand I live in a glass house here since Jeffrey Dahmer attended my alma mater, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to forget about Charles Manson

Charles Manson was born in the University of Cincinnati Academic Health Center, meaning the University of Cincinnati gave birth to one of the most notorious criminals in history.

3. B-UC-eye State

Nothing screams "We exist! Care about us!" quite like this magnificent beast:

bUCeye state

I think the goal here is to suggest that Cincinnati is the premier and preeminent university in the state of Ohio, but doesn't the fact that they felt the need to make this shirt in the first place sort of suggest otherwise?

Personally, I'm not too keen to wear a shirt that advertises my inferiority complex to everyone, but you do you.

2. “Ohio's only BCS Team”

I don't know if this is detestable so much as it's embarrassing, but in 2008, Cincinnati unleashed what has to be the most pitiful troll attempt of all time.

Behold this, which appeared on their video board after they clinched the Big East title with a win over Syracuse:

Ohio's only BCS team.

This, of course, was premature and ultimately untrue when Ohio State actually did receive a bid to the 2009 Fiesta Bowl. In fact, there has never been a season in which Cincinnati made a BCS Bowl and Ohio State did not.

The Buckeyes have gone to a BCS or New Year's 6 bowl in 12 of the past 14 seasons with the exceptions being the 2012 season (in which they went undefeated), and the 2011 season (when they were coincidentally coached by Cincinnati's current head coach).

But yeah, fantastic troll attempt.

1. The inferiority complex

This alone makes Bearcats fans absolutely unbearable in comparison to literally every other program in the state of Ohio.

Very few Ohio State fans earnestly hate the University of Cincinnati (especially with Luke Fickell now leading things), or even spend much time thinking about the University of Cincinnati, for that matter. But Cincinnati seems to have a difficult time with Ohio State being the preeminent university in Ohio as evidenced by... Well, half this list.

You're doing fine down there. The more you compare yourself to Ohio State, the more angry you're going to get, the more unbearable you become, and the more we actually start to hate you.

45 Comments
View 45 Comments