You may find that work, school, or other obligations keep you from focusing on Twitter the way you should. Thankfully for you, I'm able to tune out those distractions and provide you with a weekly rundown of the best tweets from around campus.
It's July, meaning a couple wonderful things: the Fourth of July, the women's World Cup Final on Sunday, and my 21st Birthday on the 9th (yes, I am the youngest on staff by far).
On the other hand, early July also means Football is still over a month away. Thankfully, Twitter delivered with an extraordinarily good week to help us pass the time.
So how campus park gonna ticket me at the woody .... pic.twitter.com/qtIiTpFx6n
— EzekielElliott#15 (@EzekielElliott) June 29, 2015
How do I get a parking ticket at the THE FREAKING FACILITY
— EzekielElliott#15 (@EzekielElliott) June 29, 2015
That sucks, but it's still not the worst thing to happen to a player who parked in that lot. Personally, I'd take the ticket.
When, as a guy, has commenting the emojis on a picture ever genuinely helped you lol. I need answers.
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) July 2, 2015
Entire Football Team Publicly Announces They Will Return To Ohio State In Unison pic.twitter.com/SRNBOemBdA
— The Fake Lantern (@TheFakeLantern) July 3, 2015
Big shout out to @Sean4Heisman1 for completing his radio technician license! my hero for how much you grind! #grindingeveryday #nodaysoff
— Cameron Johnston (@Cam_Johnston) July 3, 2015
A radio technician's license? That's the most kicker thing I've ever heard. Well done.
When you really wanted to be Shaq but they made you play football instead @jjones_74 pic.twitter.com/4d8PXJQaFC
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) June 30, 2015
I Love Thee Ohio States Football Strength and Conditioning Staff. I get my money's worth and more every workout on the calendar #scary
— Mike Thomas (@Cantguardmike) July 2, 2015
@kd__will lol you aint the only one
— D'Angelo Russell (@Dloading) June 27, 2015
I'm pretty happy about this as well. That pick and roll with DAR and Randle is going to be magical.
My bro @Dloading said he chose to wear #1 for the Lakers because he should of been the #1 pick in the Draft! That's scary sheesh
— Mike Thomas (@Cantguardmike) July 2, 2015
I wonder who first suggested that twerking in a handstand was sexy. Looks like they're trying to hump a wall really fast and failing
— Mike (@mike63bennett) July 2, 2015
Remember Mikey Blumberg from Recess??? This is him now. Feel old yet??? pic.twitter.com/ZkSRiQDrZJ
— Liam McCullough (@LiamMcCullough2) June 29, 2015
@LiamMcCullough2 just a little taste #shotsfired pic.twitter.com/1dQ3C9Q7WV
— Liam McCullough (@LiamMcCullough2) July 1, 2015
Freshman longsnapper Liam McCullough had some fun with fellow freshman offensive lineman Grant Schmidt. Schmidt was also defenseless as he's the only member of this freshman class that isn't on Twitter. Perhaps that will change after this roasting.
@EzekielElliott pic.twitter.com/d51kpvwDM3
— Mike Weber (@mikeweber25) July 1, 2015
When @Camren___ legitimately thinks a Chrysler 300 is a Rolls Royce #DontSayNothingToMeBoy @cfada29
— Joshua Edward Perry (@RIP_JEP) June 28, 2015
Can't use the #LiesIveToldMyParents hashtag for like 30 more years. Yall are bold lol. Not me
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) July 2, 2015
@JayRock_9 sorry @11W
— Justin Hilliard (@JHilliard47) July 2, 2015
Ah yes. 10-Star Wednesday. These two smartbombed our site last July 2nd when they announced their decision 10 minutes apart.
Thank you for finding this gem @anna_seanor pic.twitter.com/w6Ss1WAg3W
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) June 27, 2015
.@ESPNCFB , sometimes
— The Fake Lantern (@TheFakeLantern) July 2, 2015
@JayRock_9 so racist bro...
— Alex Stump (@ShowTime_Stump) July 1, 2015
#TBT freshman year OSU lacrosse camp in the Shoe pic.twitter.com/w9Jyn9DI14
— Samwise (@Sam_Hubbard_) July 2, 2015
@Sam_Hubbard_ bih look like you goin to play laser tag
— Jeff Greene (@JGreene_8) July 3, 2015
stephen collier makes a huge mistake...
Creeping and accidentally liking a picture is the worst feeling lol
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) June 30, 2015
I'm just like pic.twitter.com/GqD1cWfsvp
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) June 30, 2015
I was back deep too. Like 45 weeks . Sheesh.
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) June 30, 2015
But then our dear friend Elika chimed in give Stephen the uplifting reminder that it could always suck more:
@S13Collier I once accidentally liked an ex's new girl's pic and seriously considered witness protection programs at that moment
— Elika Sadeghi (@steakNstiffarms) June 30, 2015
@steakNstiffarms oh wowwwww see that's worse than mine.
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) June 30, 2015
@S13Collier it's gotta be worse than everybody's "so I was creepin on IG and then..." story.
— Elika Sadeghi (@steakNstiffarms) June 30, 2015
@steakNstiffarms yeah I can't really imagine a worse scenario honestly and I'm trying very hard.
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) June 30, 2015
zeke needs security
Just got legit chased around campus by two girls
— EzekielElliott#15 (@EzekielElliott) June 30, 2015
@EzekielElliott let me know if you need me for security
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) June 30, 2015
@EzekielElliott we get it you're famous
— Joey Bosa (@jbbigbear) June 30, 2015
@EzekielElliott tell coach Fick u wanna play both sides of the ball like ol buddy from UCLA. Be the RB and OLB.
— Tyvis Powell (@1Tyvis) June 30, 2015
@EzekielElliott tell coach Fick u wanna play both sides of the ball like ol buddy from UCLA. Be the RB and OLB.
— Tyvis Powell (@1Tyvis) June 30, 2015
He wouldn't last one day practicing with us https://t.co/5SPBBzwiaJ
— OSU Specialists (@BuckSpecialists) June 30, 2015
Darron Lee also chimed in with a (since deleted) tweet that said something to the effect of "I guess I need to talk to coach Alford then..."
This all gave me a thought: do you think Ohio State could win a game starting every player at a position different from their listed one? The correct answer is "probably not," but I would do lots of things to see Joey Bosa at tight end and Zeke have a couple more of these hits:
This week's winner of twitter
Players reaction when Coach Mick said no workout on Friday... pic.twitter.com/1OJXOShlod
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) July 1, 2015
It's not often a coach gets the win, but I gotta give it to Pantoni this week. Although, most of the credit goes to Kerry Coombs because, well...
Follow Friday
- The 2015 Freshmen Class: You can find all of their Twitter handles here
- Adam Jacobi: @Adam_Jacobi Instead of directing you to accounts that regularly post fire tweets, I seem to instead direct you to accounts with tweets that make you want to light yourself on fire. Today is no exception. At times, Jacobi's incessant puns will make you want to throw your twittering device out a window. However, he's not just your pun of the mill word-player — he's consistently the best there is; number-pun, if you will. I am Adam-ent that he will make a great addition to your college football timeline. He is very good at twitter dot com.
Have a great holiday weekend everybody. I hope you all have safe travels, and if you choose to blow things up yourself, do that safely as well. Last Fourth of July I almost burned down my sister's house with the help of my brother-in-law. Don't do that.
