The #brands always win. Even when they lose.
If you think having to issue a second press release one day after making a confusing announcement is losing, you're wrong. Look at Michigan State's big announcement last week:
Detroit-based Rocket Mortgage will be the presenting sponsor of the famed men's basketball team which will now be known throughout the Breslin Center as, "MSU Spartans Presented by Rocket Mortgage."
Wow, they renamed Sparty! Or did they? One day later:
Following yesterday's release regarding the partnership between Rocket Mortgage and Michigan State, there were some reports that incorrectly stated Michigan State was renaming its men's basketball team.
MSU is not renaming itself - what could have given you that idea? Only MSU will call its basketball team MSU Spartans Presented by Rocket Mortgage®. It's not for anyone else.
Think of it like this - spouses call each other Honey as part of being financially beholden to each other forever, kind of like a mortgage they have to pay interest on up until death terminates the contract.
But neither spouse is actually named Honey. Wedding vows include naming rights; check the fine print. This is kind of like that. We'll barely notice, so don't make it weird. B a r e l y notice.
The integrations include multiple static and digital placements throughout the university's athletic facilities, branding on the MSU men's and women's basketball team bench and clipboards, and logos prominently displayed on football coach Mel Tucker's headset – making the company synonymous with Spartan athletics.
Not renaming MSU. Just brokering lucrative corporate synonyms for MSU.
That second release to explain the first one created additional publicity for Rocket Mortgage® which means this partnership is already a winner. MSU got a fat check which the players surely got a piece of while Rocket Mortgage® landed coveted air time, including via useful/unpaid social media enthusiasts amplifying the partnership. I'm writing a whole-ass article about it!
But there's no reason to leave the corporate money cannon parked in East Lansing. Let's drive it down B1G & Rich Alumni Boulevard and explore what's possible in this definitely-not-intrusive era of collegiate capitalism.
MSU SPARTANS PRESENTED BY ROCKET MORTGAGE®
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
Double MSU alumnus and multibillionaire Dan Gilbert, co-founder of Rocket Mortgage.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
Owning things like the Cleveland Cavaliers - but mostly getting mad online in comic sans.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
It already happened!
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
MSU Spartans Presented by Cream Keg Grotto
INDIANA HOOSIERS PRESENTED BY SHARK TANK™
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
IU alumnus and multibillionaire Mark Cuban, Shark Tank investor.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
Television personality and Dallas Mavericks owner who actually reads his Twitter mentions.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
Loves attention and has a fondness for troubled assets - oh hi, Indiana basketball.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Indiana Hoosiers Presented by Shart Kank
ILLINOIS FIGHTING ILLINI PRESENTED BY SLAPCHOP™
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
U of I dropout and multimillionaire Ron Popeil.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
Inventor of the infomercial, without which George Foreman would only be known for boxing.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
Illinois dropped Chief Illiniwek years ago. This Chop is culturally sensitive and dishwasher safe.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Illinois Fighting Illini Presented by Cash Plop
IOWA HAWKEYES PRESENTED BY LEMONADE©
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
U of I dropout and multimillionaire Mila Kunis' husband.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
Movies, Punk'd, That 70s Show, Two and a Half Men and playing startups like casino games.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
Beloved semi-honorary alumnus, former townie and the colors match up nicely.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Iowa Hawkeyes Presented by Ale Demon
MARYLAND TERRAPINS PRESENTED BY CORPORATE SPONSOR™
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
U of M dropout and multibillionaire Dan Snyder.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
Wildly popular, enormously respected and generally beloved owner of the Washington Football Team.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
The Under Armor guy makes more sense but Dan Snyder was right there and I was weak to resist.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Maryland Terrapins Presented by Prospero Cartoons
MICHIGAN WOLVERINES PRESENTED BY GROUPON™
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
Double U-M alumnus and multibillionaire Eric Lefkofsky.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
You don't, because most billionaires are somehow anonymous. He co-founded Groupon.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Michigan Wolverines Presented by Urn Goop
MINNESOTA GOPHERS PRESENTED BY CARGILL© EDIBLE OILS
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
UM alumnus and multibillionaire Austen S. Cargill II.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
Has the best job in the world: Billionaire Heir. Still completed degrees from Minnesota and Oregon State, because of his insatiable thirst for bucktoothed mascots (unconfirmed).
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
Hard to go a single meal without getting some Cargill in your mouth. A flexible product placement campaign - think: PJ Fleck shouting Row the Oats on camera - would delight executives and command a premium.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Minnesota Golden Gophers Presented by Lac Girl
NEBRASKA HUSKERS PRESENTED BY BLUE COLLAR COMEDY™
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
UNL dropout and multimillionaire Daniel Whitney.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
Not being Warren Buffett. Daniel is better known as Larry the Cable Guy. Wait, you expected Nebraska to do better? How very Nebraska of you.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
See above.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Nebraska Cornhuskers Presented by Moldable Croc Mule
NORTHWESTERN WILDCATS PRESENTED BY SPACEX
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
Double NU alumna and multimillionaire Gwynne Shotwell.
YOU MAY KNOW HER FOR
SpaceX President and Chief Operating Officer. Also, one of very few who are perfect at Twitter.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
Steals astronaut valor from Purdue, which Ohio is good at but we need a western front.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Northwestern Wildcats Presented by Sex Cap
OHIO STATE BUCKEYES PRESENTED BY 碧桂园
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
OSU alumna and multibillionaire Yang Huiyan.
YOU MAY KNOW HER FOR
Richest woman in Asia. She's worth eight Les Wexners.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
Imagine a retractable and climate-controlled Wonder Woman-style transparent sarcophagus enveloping Ohio Stadium. Paving the Olentangy with bricks from the Schott and replacing it with literally anything else. Possibilities.
Yang was on campus when Jim Tressel flipped the Michigan rivalry and went 14-0. We need more of that good juju. Buckeyes have fallen on hard times since she left - they rarely run the table anymore!
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Ohio State Buckeyes Presented by 龙世纪.
PENN STATE NITTANY LIONS PRESENTED BY GOLDMAN SACHS
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
The estate of PSU double alumnus and multibillionaire Frank Smeal.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
That Penn State-Goldman Sachs pipeline isn't a coincidence.
IT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
It's the perfect combination of muscle, money, intimidation and evil that will still manage to lose the White Out in agonizing fashion every other year.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Penn State Nittany Lions Presented by Clam Sandhogs
PURDUE BOILERMAKERS PRESENTED BY SHAMROCK SHAKES™
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
PU double alumnus and multimillionaire Don Thompson.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
Living the definition of the American Dream but also running McDonald's for awhile.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
Like Cargill and Minnesota, we can get seasonal with this. McRib, start warming up.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Purdue Boilermakers Presented by Smoker Hack Ash
RUTGERS SCARLET KNIGHTS PRESENTED BY HOME DEPOT
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
RU alumnus and multibillionaire Bernard Marcus.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
Co-founded a cute mom & pop corner hardware store called Home Depot. Maybe there's one near you.
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
Rutgers has been under construction since it joined the conference #synergy
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Rutgers Scarlet Knights Presented by Ope Method
WISCONSIN BADGERS PRESENTED BY HARLEY-DAVIDSON™
WEALTHY STAKEHOLDER
UW alumnus and multimillionaire Willie Davidson.
YOU MAY KNOW HIM FOR
His grandpa invented a motorcycle meticulously designed to disrupt the ambient sounds of nature (the original Harley, Davidson and a lot of their respective progeny - including Willie -also matriculated through Madison).
MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
Beer, cheese and encased meats make sense but all of those are implied Wisconsin traits and brands that don't require an additional premium. You can consume all of those on the back of a Harley.
ANAGRAM UPGRADE:
Wisconsin Badgers Presented by Odd Anal Shivery
