This Week in Our Dumb, Beautiful Sport: UCLA Ruins Penn State, Bill Belichick Craters, and Almost Nobody Is Good

By Ryan Ginn on October 6, 2025 at 9:10 am
UCLA Bruins quarterback Nico Iamaleava (9,right) hugs new offensive coordinator Jerry Neuheisel after defeating the Penn State Nittany Lions 42-37 at Rose Bowl
Kiyoshi Mio-Imagn Images
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Welcome to This Week in Our Dumb Beautiful Sport, a weekly look at the chaos that reigns over the most perfectly imperfect world of college football.

Is anyone good anymore? It's hard to say for sure, but it's getting easier each week to say who isn't. Hello, Penn State and Texas! 

UCLA RISES FROM THE DEAD

Here’s an important lesson to start the week: Always leave yourself a way out of your terrible predictions. Last week, for example, someone – it’s not important who – may have written in a column – it’s not important which one – that UCLA was pretty much guaranteed to finish the season 0-12 after losing to Northwestern. However, the last five words of the sentence were “barring some sort of miracle.” And wouldn’t you know it, a miracle appeared just one week later to save me that person from permanent ridicule.

UCLA, a team that lost 35-10 at home to New Mexico, a team that fired its head coach and both its coordinators, a team that planned a Blue Out the week it played a team whose primary color is blue (albeit a different shade), hit Penn State upside the head with a shovel in a 42-37 win that is virtually guaranteed to be the biggest upset of the season… barring some sort of even bigger miracle. 

One weird thing about this win: if you watched this game without knowing who coached UCLA, you’d almost assume it was Jerry Neuheisel (son of former UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel). He got a sideline Gatorade bath, the crowd chanted his name, and UCLA players carried him off the field. But no! He’s just the interim offensive coordinator! So congrats to Tim Skipper, who isn’t the son of TV analyst and former coach but does now have more top-10 wins while coaching at a Big Ten school (one) than Lincoln Riley (zero).

JAMES FRANKLIN... WOOF

I had to start with UCLA, but James Franklin and Penn State are not off the hook. They get their own section, so let's get to it. While his critics have always fairly pointed to Franklin's inability to win games against the best teams, he's always been able to retort that he never loses games he shouldn't. If that's no longer the case... not good. It's understandable that the Nittany Lions weren't amped up for a cross-country trip to play a winless team a week after losing a heartbreaker to Oregon in overtime. Honestly, it would be weird if they were amped up for it. But the hangover isn't supposed to last past the first drive or two. And, frankly, even being mentally checked out for four quarters should be enough to win against a team with UCLA's body of work. 

With that being said, he's not getting fired. Not only is Penn State not going to fork over more than $50 million to get rid of him, but also I question how much better they could really do. (Just to make this extremely clear, because I know that sounds like a defense of him: I think there are several coaches who would be better for Penn State than James Franklin. I just doubt those coaches would sign up to live in State College to do a job where you face national championship expectations without a national championship caliber pocketbook like, oh, I don't know, Ohio State or Oregon.) Anyways, I do think a mutually agreed-upon breakup might benefit both sides, but if I were Franklin I'd probably stay put until they paid me off. 

BILL BELICHICK IS TORCHING HIS LEGACY

As a Colts fan who got my childhood heart ripped out year after year by espionage enthusiasts who also paid their star quarterback under the table, I hope Bill Belichick stays at North Carolina forever. It was obvious from the start that he thought he could just show up to what he believed was an easier version of the NFL and just start ordering the rings and printing the banners without doing any actual work. 

The Tar Heels' latest affront to football came on Saturday in a 38-10 loss to a bad Clemson team. It was 28-3 after the first quarter, but the Falcons weren't on the other sideline. Luckily for Belichick, a sympathetic Dabo Swinney was. Clemson, whose season-long stats could have used some boosts, very clearly called off the dogs in the second half instead of running up the score. North Carolina has now played three unranked Power 4 teams and lost 48-14 (TCU), 34-9 (UCF), and 38-10 (Clemson). 

The answer: never o'clock. 

ARCH MANNING HYPE TRAIN DERAILS

Arch Manning didn't write the mock drafts that put him No. 1 with only a couple of spot starts to his name. He didn't vote in the polls that ranked his team No. 1 entering this season. He did do the numerous commercials he appears in, but I assume companies approached him instead of vice versa. As far as candidates to feel sorry for despite being born into every advantage in life, you could honestly do a lot worse. 

And yet, it's hard to feel bad for Manning and Texas as they stumble through a season that now looks like it has a better chance of ending with a 7-5 record than with a championship ring. It's one thing to lose on the road to Ohio State. It's another to follow up some fairly pedestrian wins with a 29-21 loss to a Florida team coached by a dead man walking. On top of that, the game wasn't as close as the score might indicate. I just wish we'd gotten an updated Steve Spurrier quote about a Manning who plays for a team in orange and white losing to the Gators. Instead, this one from July will have to suffice. 

IS ANYONE ACTUALLY GOOD?

A month and a half into the season, the preseason No. 1 and No. 2 teams -- Texas and Penn State, respectively, are no longer ranked. Several other teams that are ranked range from flawed to possibly terrible and are only as high as they are because they have to find 25 teams to write down. It's in the name of the poll. I try not to fearmonger, but I do worry a bit that this is our future -- an entire country of teams looking like they've never played together because they in fact have never played together due to rosters being completely remade each season. 

Anyways, let's put the teams in tiers. 

Tier 1A: The No. 1 ranked defending champ
Ohio State: Quietly the favorite to repeat at this point. Honestly a dream scenario to be able to lurk as the No. 1-ranked defending champion. 

Tier 1B: Possibly elite but need more proof
Miami (Fla.): Might be in a differently named tier 1A if they had a different coach or if we haven't spent the last 20 years wondering when they'll be a legitimate contender again.
Oregon: I saw last year's trip to Columbus. Tier 1B until they invent a time machine or show this year is different.

Tier 2A: High ceiling but flawed
Alabama: Lost to Florida State by two touchdowns, looked extremely beatable against Vanderbilt for the first 28 minutes.

Tier 2B: Prove it
Ole Miss: Has not won the SEC since the Civil Rights Act was passed. Never played in an SEC Championship Game. 
Indiana: The Old Dominion win looks better each week. Smoked Illinois. Still need to see it against Oregon or Penn State. 
Texas A&M: Texas 8&4 until proven otherwise. One national championship... in 1939.
Oklahoma: All depends on John Mateer's health. 

Tier 3: Kind of can't prove it
Texas Tech: Have you seen that schedule? Woof. There are Group of Five teams with tougher slates. What's their best win going to be even if they go undefeated?
Notre Dame: You never want your best win to be Lincoln Riley's USC. With that being said, they have a high ceiling and barely lost to a pair of top-five (for now) teams.

Tier 4: Coasting on their name-brand status
Georgia: Kirby Smart without the nation's best roster is not a recipe for CFP contention.
Tennessee: Almost lost to Mississippi State. Next. 
LSU: Have you seen that offense? They might not score against half the teams they have left. Pathetic. 
Michigan: Needs a better coach and better wide receeivers. But mostly a better coach. 

Tier 5: Talented disasters
Penn State: You cannot do that. You just can't. Especially with Ohio State still on the schedule. Drew Allar doesn't look like what PSU thought he'd be. 
Texas: Is playing a bunch of high schools in South Louisiana that have around 137 students not a sufficient gauge of how someone will fare in the SEC?
Florida State: The Alabama win looks good, but the Virginia loss is going to be one they regret. Not much left in the way to impress, and plenty more chances for bad losses. 

Tier 6: 2024 Indiana Wannabes
Georgia Tech: Beat Georgia and we can talk. 
Virginia: Could also be filed under kind of can't prove it if they belonged in a tier that high, but has a real chance to finish 11-1... with not very much to show for it.
BYU: Very good start without Jake Retzlaff. Can they beat the best Big 12 roster oil money can buy?
Missouri: Sorry but I am not doing this. Will get smoked by multiple teams left on their schedule. 

There are other teams that are probably better than some of these teams as a whole, but I'm not ranking teams that don't have the roster to win a College Football Playoff game. 

RYAN DAY STANDS ALONE

Ryan Day has won 88.2 percent of his games at Ohio State, which seems quite good. Perhaps unprecedented would be a better description. Day passed former Notre Dame coach Knute Rockne for the top spot in career winning percentage among college football coaches, although Day still needs to coach for 10 total seasons to officially qualify for the NCAA's list. 

Day was asked about it after the win against Minnesota and had a joke ready.

I truly cannot imagine the nuclear-grade discourse on this issue if Day hadn't won a championship last year, although I suspect it might resemble the mess currently being posted on Penn State message boards. 

MARYLAND IS CURSED

Not really. They're just a bad team who plays easy teams in September. But still! As Ron Burgundy would say, "Actually, I'm not mad. That's amazing." Look at this stat, fresh off of the Terps blowing a 20-0 lead to Washington once they accidentally saw a calendar at halftime and realized it's now October:

On top of that, Terrapins coach Mike Locksley is now 0-10 in games following bye weeks. How is that even possible?

TAYLOR SWIFT PROPHECY CONTINUES

Maybe prophecy is a bit strong since what I'm about to say would probably be true of any random sampling of nine college football dates since the mid 2000s, but this is still fun. This weekend marked the ninth Taylor Swift album release during a non-COVID season. Heading into this year, only one team had a perfect 8-0 mark and only one team had a winless 0-8 record. 

Time to update those records to 9-0 and 0-9 after the Buckeyes laid the Wood to Minnesota and the Boilermakers' high hopes were Cancelled in a loss to Illinois. 

NERD TRASH TALK

Duke steamrolled Cal, 45-21, in a game that my brain still refuses to believe is a conference matchup. Speaking of brains, the Golden Bears still managed to get one over on the Blue Devils with this helmet sticker honoring their 59 Nobel Prize laureates. (As best I can tell, Duke claims 19 Nobel Prize winners.) Love it. 

COACH O BACK?

Baton Rouge broadcast journalist Jacques Doucet, who memorably asked an angry Brian Kelly why the 2025 LSU offense can't ever travel 10 yards over four plays, broke news this week that former Tigers coach Ed Orgeron is ready to get back into coaching. 

It's got to be a bummer for the former Miami (Fla.) assistant that the Hurricanes job definitely won't be coming open, but Orgeron was popular at USC as its interim coach after Lane Kiffin was fired and who knows what could happen there if more losses pile up. Hear me out, though: Stanford coach Ed Orgeron. Can you imagine? I need it. 

Normally I'd ask why someone being paid $17 million to not coach would ever bother going through that stress again. But the Louisiana Supreme Court just awarded half of that amount to Orgeron's ex-wife Kelly Orgeron, and there aren't many jobs out there where you can quickly make back $8.5 million. 

PLAY OF THE WEEK

Beautifully executed onside kick that led to an extra possession in a 5-point win? Yeah, that'll do it.

IDIOT OF THE WEEK

It's UNC general manager Michael Lombardi, who authored a ridiculous letter to fans this week to try to explain why it's actually good and perfectly understandable that the Tar Heels can't stay within four touchdowns of any Power 4 team they face. In a rambling screed that started with way too many paragraphs about his hatred of his favorite NBA team, Lombardi explained that it's not his fault that UNC has so many bad players and in fact it is everyone else in the world's fault. This included: Mack Brown, former UNC players, current UNC players who don't contribute, coaches from other schools who signed players UNC wanted, and UNC itself (but not Michael Lombardi) for not having enough money to sign players. 

Just to make sure it was clear how out of touch he is, Lombardi cited slow starts from the following coaches, almost all of which occurred before any players on UNC's current roster were even born:
Lou Holtz starting 5-6 at Notre Dame (1986)
Mack Brown starting 2-20 at North Carolina (1988-89)
Bill Belichick starting 6-10 in Cleveland (1991)
Kirk Ferentz starting 1-10 at Iowa (1999)
Bill Belichick starting 5-11 in New England (2000)
Jim Harbaugh starting 4-8 at Stanford (2007)
Nick Saban starting 7-6 at Alabama (2007)

Yes, we all remember Kirk Ferentz's famous struggles in the 1999 transfer portal due to low NIL funds before he rallied to eventually make one Rose Bowl a decade and a half later (and lose by about 30 points, but still!). What are we doing here? College football is barely on the same planet as it was in 1986. 

He then explained that the grand plan to fix this is to sign a 40-player class of high school recruits in December, including flipping a bunch of SEC and Big Ten commitments, before landing some star players from P4 teams in the transfer portal. How this is going to happen at a program he claims does not have any money was not explained. The letter then concluded by saying he looked forward to seeing the school's biggest boosters at the Clemson game. Hopefully he got to meet them before kickoff. 

REF JAIL INMATE OF THE WEEK

Ref Jail is empty this week due to a lack of jailable offenses and my longstanding belief that incorrect officiating calls against Notre Dame should not only be legal but also encouraged. However, honorable mention probation goes to the officiating crew of Iowa State-Cincinnati, which had TWENTY-ONE penalties not counting ones that were declined. At one point ineligible receiver downfield was flagged twice in three plays (on plays that would have gained 26 and 52 yards). Neither seemed particularly egregious or impactful to the play. I know, I know, but use some discretion, nerds. 

NO CONTEXT SCORES OF THE WEEK

Here are some scores that caught my eye for any number of reasons – randomness, outcome, unique matchup – that shall remain unknown:

Appalachian State 27, Oregon State 23
Nebraska 38, Michigan State 27
Kansas 27, UCF 20
Georgia 35, Kentucky 14
Fresno State 20, Nevada 17
Virginia 30, Louisville 27 (OT)
UConn 51, FIU 10

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