The Quest for the Holy Recruiting Grail

By Luke Zimmermann on January 14, 2010 at 7:00 am
The Buckeyes' recruitment of all-universe, 5-starer in everyone's hearts, man mountain Seantrel Henderson could likely best described favorably as a mixed martial arts match meets a Jonas Brothers concert. Essentially Henderson maims and submits poor, defenseless physical inferiors in high school games, then assorted members of the dispersed Ohio State recruiting armada scream at the top of their lungs longingly for 2.5 hours.

Even scoutnik Tom Lemming has hailed Henderson as "a cross between Jonathan Ogden and Orlando Pace." For a man who's built an entire career on dishing out right frontal lobe melting hyperbole, there's no questioning Henderson has been qualified into a seldom utilized brain injuring echelon of superfreakdom. A few of the scattered accolades Henderson's accrued during his 3 years of shattering hapless high schooler' dreams of healthily finishing their seasons:

-2008 Rivals High School Junior of the Year
-2x USA Today All-USA First Team (2008, 2009)
-2009 AP Minnesota Football Player of the Year
-2009 USA Today Offensive Player of the Year
-2009 Latin Grammy Award for Best Cumbia/Vallenato Album (Nominated)
-2008 GuangBo China International Chinese Award for Outstanding Contribution to Labor in the Yinzhou district
-2010 Duffy Daughtery Memorial Award (Honorable Mention)

This is clearly a very decorated, accomplished young man.

It would seem the competitors in the home stretch for 3 years of Seantrel patronage would be the usual suspects: Florida, Notre Dame, Ohio State, and USC. Of course that only begs the natural next question: who's the front runner for this beast of a young man? Depending on who you listen to, Henderson is either a slam dunk, absolute lock, zero chance he goes anywhere else lean for Florida, Notre Dame, Ohio State, USC, and just for good measure, Miami. But try not to let the hype sway you -- the eye test is the only accurate barometer for man crushes this day and age. Behold the powers of one young Mr. Henderson:


Great measurables. Energetic. Sort of an upbeat, young Korey Stringer on the 'Vikes vibe. But Seantrel doesn't roll with overcast skies and 60% chances of rain, no sir. The afterphoto:


Impressive, no? Ohio State would be in line to ink their first lineman able to block precipitation (or clear skies, depending on his mood, of course) since LeCharles Bentley (Lord knows all Alex Boone could manipulate was space and time, and only after midnight EST). While the former Rimington Award winner's playing career was tragically derailed by staph infection, rest assured, he's making a glorious living exercising his other unique, world class abilities in the People's Republic of China.

But as in many recruiting tales, the will of the young student athlete isn't the only interest vested in this process. Enter Sean Henderson: loving, devoted father and aspiring hip-hop producer extraordinaire. The scuttlebutt has it that Henderson's father is a die hard USC fan with dreams of blowing up in the rap game. Many have linked Henderson accordingly to Lane Kiffin's Extended Stay Football Monopoly in Los Angeles. Undoubtedly, the access the Hendersons' would have to the Los Angeles music scene could seriously aid the senior Henderson in having a track or verse on the next Game mix tape. Others are quick to point out the former power brokers surrounding the Miami program as a reason for assuming that could be the young tackle's final destination. Perhaps to find the best potential landing spot, we'd be best served by taking a brief look at Henderson's national performance debut under the unassuming alias "General Larry Platt":

Overlooked in all of this is the 614's status as a sizable up and comer in the rap game. Lest we forget, rapper Cam'Ron once name checked the city of Columbus in the fading out final 5 seconds of his track "Down & Out". And it's not as though the campus area doesn't have its own eager and waiting collaborators. Your move, Mr. Henderson.