Prelude To A Long Weekend

By Luke Zimmermann on July 1, 2009 at 2:00 pm

Ahhh, Summer. Boating, bored people talking on cellphones wishing they were anywhere but the baseball game they paid $120 to attend, and the frightening aftermath of catfish reared on nothing but Skyline.

Model Buckeyes at Fort Benning
All-American, All-Buckeye, All-Awesome.

Worry not Buckeye backers: the run on weddings is behind you, a short work week is likely nearly 3/4 complete, and Ohio State's pre-SC tussle with the Naval Acacdemy is but 66 short days away. Speaking of our enlisted men & women, let's take this moment to suspend all snark and borderline inappropriete levels of hero-worship for young twenty somethings, and instead pay homage, with our nation's Independence Day rapidly approaching, to those actual heroes who make both our independence and ability to kill the doldroms of the workday by studying unofficial 40-yard-dash times possible.

Lee Tressel, the father of our beloved sweatervested one, diligently served in the Navy instead of serving on the football field for the Bucks during World War 2, joining 18 other returning tOSU letterman from the 1941 team who also put aside their scholastic, athletic, and personal interests to fight for their country. The great Chic Harley also dutifully responded when his country came calling. The realities of foregoing our favorite distraction in favor of one of the highest forms of responsibility imaginable is but a concept alone in many of our minds, which all the more adds the importance to both thank those that have risked their lives and think of the countless many who make these moments of introspection possible.

Let us resume our regularly scheduled sarcasm and thinly veiled attempts at sporting dialogue.

We start with The State Up North, where Tim Hardaway Jr. announced this week his committment to John Beilein's Wolverines. The 6-5 swingman from Miami (Fla.) Palmetto Senior High is rated as a 3-star by Rivals, a 93 (ostensibly out of 150) by ESPN, and a 3-star by Scout. Little is known about the strong bloodline possessing senior to be other than Googling him will yield you many, many photos of his notorious former NBA All-Star father. Infamous genetics aside, Hardaway Jr.'s game appears to be predicated on smooth handles, court vision, and a jumper to match. The future Wolverine averaged 25.2 points, 10.5 rebounds and six assists his junior season, drawing offers from Tubby Smith's Golden Gophers and Kansas State as well. Attempts to bring you, the fine 11W viewing public, some legitimate game tape were unsuccessful, largely due to countless YouTube videos being yanked because of terms & rights violations. Instead we bring you this grainy basketball video with "HUSTLIN" in the title. Pretend the fast one is Tim Hardaway Jr.

For those of you who missed it, France, suffering perhaps their poorest showing since the Wars of Religion, fell to a team of U.S. select 19-or-under football players 78-0 at Canton's famed Fawcett Stadium. The Red, White & Blue outgained the, uh, Blue, White & Red 617 yards to 7. It's worth pointing out, however, those 7 yards represented a far greater net gaine than their performance in the Franco-Prussian War. The Bucks' Jack Mewhort and Storm Klein, both incoming freshman this coming Fall, participated in the slaughter. There is arguably nothing more American than being named Storm Klein and inflicting massive, hit-stick style pain on the French. U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A, etc. Northwestern recruit Brian Smith, Miami University signee Pat Hinkel, and future Kent State Golden Flash Brian Winters made up the other Big Ten/Ohio area representatives on the squad. Virginia Tech recruits David Wilson and Tariq Edwards, South Carolina recruit Chris Payne, and Virginia signee Corey Lillard also participated in the American football equivalent of waterboarding. For those in the northeastern Ohio area this 4th of July weekend, be sure to catch the encore as the American select team Cortés-es a team of like aged players from Mexico later today and the assumed championship this Sunday, July 5th, at 1 pm again at Fawcett.

Lastly, we again tip our hat to former Buckeye B.J. Mullens on going 25th overall in the first round to the Oklahoma City Thunder. Love him or hate him, you can't help but appreciate he going to the only part of the country who will cherish and appreciate his choice of facial hair stylings. We wish you the best B.J., and for those who manage to miss his introductory press conference with the Thunder, be sure to check out what Mullens had to say.