Boiled Sports, Home of Sideboob FridaysWith another big conference game up this weekend, we checked in with the guys at Boiled Sports to get their keys to a victory over the Buckeyes. They're not quite ready to call this one a lock for Purdue, but they do have a list of things Purdue should look to do to leave Columbus with the win.
The following are, in our opinion, a number of keys to potential victory for the Boilers. Okay, maybe not victory, but to a slightly increased chance of victory.
- Beanie Wells is run over by a cement mixer on his way to practice on Friday.
- Terrell Pryor gets his foot caught in a Jacuzzi motor and is unable to make the game. Understand, we’re not saying he would be unable to play due to injury – we’re saying he would need to be stuck and physically being unable to make it to the ‘shoe. Because, if he did, even with one foot we’re still a little afraid of him.
- aOSU's locker room door is welded shut or at least jammed closed by an axe handle.
- Drew Brees, ever the prankster, arrives in Columbus and dons Curtis Painter’s uniform, helmet and blank stare.
- Brock Spack falls asleep after having a yummy pumpkin pie and in his absence, the team forgets that they’re not allowed to blitz – ever – and actually gets aggressive.
- A lawn mower gains AI and plows through the OSU sideline.
- A pretty girl shows up and the Ohio-based team is so flabbergasted that they lose focus on the game.
- Purdue comes out wearing USC jerseys. Especially effective with USC’s players.
- Maurice Clarett stumbles drunkenly onto the field, insisting he “still has eligibility” and proceeds to take the ball and run a sweep left while carrying his Grey Goose bottle(s), only his “sweep” looks like people look after they’ve done the “spin your head on a bat” thing and he falls down, fumbles and Purdue takes it to the house.
- The Boilers are able to literally bend the space-time continuum because that happens as frequently as the Boilers beating a top ten team… on the road.
