The Situational: Murica Strong

By Ramzy Nasrallah on July 3, 2014 at 8:00a
LET FREEDOM RING
76 Comments

Scoreboard, England. Scoreboard forever.

It's been 231 years since America's first-ever championship and the trophies have been piling up ever since. We've designated July 4 as the most American holiday, which is strange - but quite deliberate.

It's strange because we don't celebrate the date for the Treaty of Paris - April 11, 1783 - when the US spiked the football and officially snatched away everything the Brits claimed east of Mississippi and south of Great Lakes (except parts of Florida, which we briefly let Spain believe they could keep - LOL gullible Spaniards).

We also don't celebrate our legal separation from Britain, which occurred 238 years ago yesterday when the Second Continental Congress approved the Lee Resolution. That remains the most popular and celebrated divorce in American history, and today only Kanye West has a shot of ever threatening it.

we celebrate our liberty, our  freedom and our capacity to amaze both ourselves and the world.

No, July 4 was when Congress finished up the subsequent Declaration of Independence; basically the press release for the Lee Resolution it had just passed. Two of its signers - John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, both later Presidents - both died on July 4 exactly 50 years later.

Cause of death: Freedom overdose. It happens on occasion to great Americans.

Tomorrow is when we celebrate our perpetual liberty, our indefinite freedom and our capacity to amaze both ourselves and the world with every move we make. July 4 is the deliberate choice for this party because it's summer everywhere in this great land of ours - even up in Alaska, which America purchased from the Russians in 1867 for a total of $119MM in 2014 dollars.

Today Alaska generates a billion a week in 2014 dollars. Scoreboard, Russia. Scoreboard forever.

Our July 4th celebration of America's indomitable strength also marks the Two Month Warning for college football season, our greatest invention that we refuse to export to the rest of the world - because it's simply too wonderful to share.

Some things should just be left for us. Let's get Situational.


THE FLAG-BEARER: URBAN FRANK MEYER

Urban Meyer is pointing at you

Back in mid-May when Ohio State had a meager two-man recruiting class, Urban Meyer said the following on the Dan Dakich radio program:

June’s awful. June is all camps and people non-stop coming on campus for recruiting. I mean, it’s not awful, but it’s every day, including Saturday and Sunday, you’re working, because kids come and visit your campus.

Two weeks later four-star QB Joey Burrow pledged to Ohio State. Then Maryland safety Tyler Green joined the class (he made a brief visit to Ann Arbor shortly thereafter).

The following day OT Grant Schmidt decided he would bring his 10-foot broad jump, 4.7 speed and 29-inch vertical to Columbus. The day after that LS Liam McCullough chose the Buckeyes over offers from Michigan State, Wisconsin and Kentucky.

Ohio state pulled in seven commitments over 11 days in June.

A week later two four-star prospects - OLB Nick Conner and DE Dre'Mont Jones - both chose Ohio State. Then Denzel Ward, the fastest player in Ohio, decided to join them.

Meyer closed out his least-favorite month by flipping behemoth OL Kevin Feder from Coral Gables to Columbus.

It's now July, and through yesterday the Buckeyes were already averaging one verbal commitment per day, carrying an average of five stars per recruit. Welcome, Justin Hilliard and Joshon Cornell. We already admire your zeal.

A lot of Buckeye fans were concerned about 2015 recruiting prior to Meyer making those comments to Dakich about disliking June. Well, June's over. If you were this productive during months you hated you'd find a way to hate the other months equally. You can relax now, Concernicus.

We're not saying you're silly to ever worry about Ohio State's football recruiting; we're just saying it's really cute when you worry about it under Meyer.


THE SQUAD: USMNT

OLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYYYYOLAYYYYYOLAYYYYYY

There is some debate over soccer being the world's game since all 19 of the World Cup's champions - and runners-up - only come from one of two continents: Europe or South America. We'll use the word debate loosely; it's really just noise from people who find soccer uninteresting.

The latter opinion is well within their freedoms. The former one is just wrong.

First, the math: Europe and South America have well over 60 countries between them, whereas North America and Australia have four. Antarctica has yet to qualify, and if it ever did it would never get out of the knock-out round because the only Penguins with any athletic ability on our planet reside in Youngstown.

Canada, which understandably fares better with winter sports, failed to qualify once again and soccer-crazed Mexico only got in because the United States allowed it to. Regardless, the vast majority of World Cup participating countries were from Europe and South America up until the 1980s when the tournament expanded to 24 countries.

It's at 32 now. That sound you hear is the BCS dead-enders cringing. Asia and Africa are relative newcomers to the World Cup despite soccer being enormously popular on both continents. Think of their representatives as potential Boise States.

In 2006 the World Cup's cumulative television audience was well over 26 billion people.

All of the titles have been won by Brazil (5 - the only country to have played in every World Cup), Italy (4), West Germany (3), Argentina (2), Uruguay (2) and England/France/Spain with one apiece. Continents are, well, enormous. This isn't the SEC winning all those titles in a row.

That same tortured logic would be used to suggest college football is only popular in the American southeast, which it is not. The whole world is still watching, possibly even the penguins: In 2006 the World Cup's cumulative television audience was well over 26 billion (there were 6.5 billion of us on earth then) with 715 million tuning in to watch the title match.

The draw, which is the World Cup's version of Selection Sunday, drew 300 million people that year - despite only occurring in prime time on one sliver of earth. This year's actual Selection Sunday prior to March Madness had a little under 5 million viewers by comparison.

Tim Howard: Better than you
USMNT Keeper Tim Howard of New Jersey. #B1G

The World Cup is the most-watched and most popular sport and sporting event on earth and it's not even close. The Olympics wishes it had the World Cup's audience. The US Men's National Team advanced to what America affectionately refers to as the Sweet Sixteen before dropping that extra-time heartbreaker Tuesday to Belgium.

This isn't a plea for you to like soccer; around here - outside of Ohio State - no one really cares what you like. Just remember: If you're not actively rooting for America on the world's stage, you're rooting against America. There are no shades of gray. There are only shades of red, white and blue.

Fortunately our great country affords you the inalienable right to be a jerkface. The World Cup is awesome, and the USMNT played valiantly. The 2018 World Cup will be held in Russia. Hopefully America will steal it just like Alaska.


THE BOURBON: LIBER-TEA

There is a bourbon for every situation. Sometimes the spirits and the events overlap, which means that where bourbon is concerned there can be more than one worthy choice.

Bourbon is a liquid metaphor for America itself: It broke off from its Anglican overlords in the 18th century, had some growing pains, perfected its craft over time, can only be produced here and today is the greatest spirit in the history of spirits, sharing its abundance with the rest of the world.

Panty melter. You're welcome."Give me Liber-Tea or give me death." - Patrick Henry

Bourbon is wonderful. But tea? Almost 241 years ago the Sons of Liberty decided an entire tea shipment from the East India company was better off at the bottom of Boston Harbor than in the cups of citizens being taxed and not represented. It's the most popular beverage in England - the Brits drink 165 million cups of it every day.

So if you mix bourbon and tea, you get a little Revolutionary War in a glass - or, as pictured to the right, in a mason jar. If you do it correctly you'll have the tastiest and most patriotic beverage at your neighborhood Independence Day celebration.

LIBER-TEA (one pitcher)

4 cups water
~½ cup sugar
8 black tea bags
2 lemons
~½ cup mint leaves
2 cups Bulleit bourbon

Your proportions should be 1:3 in favor of tea. Once again, America is outnumbered - but go ahead and guess which flavor is going to win your mouth. First you need to make tea, so boil water and then dump in and dissolve as much sugar as you like. Then add black tea bags.

Once the color looks tea-ish enough for you, add the same amount of cold water to what you just boiled. Take two lemons, cut them in half, squeeze them into the tea and then drop them into it. Add some fresh mint leaves and muddle them at the bottom to release their flavor. Either pick out the lemon seeds or prepare to spit them out like a defiant colonialist in between sips.

Now add your bourbon. If you're making tea for an entire militia, a value bourbon like Bulleit pairs very well with tea and the added sweetness, as it is a relatively neutral bourbon and not terribly sweet by itself. [Ed: Use Buffalo Trace instead. Bulleit decided it was too good for Liber-Tea]

Basil Hayden would normally also be a suitable choice here too - if Basil weren't such a British-sounding name. Hell, you could mix Bulleit Buffalo Trace with Basil and make a mini-battle of Yorktown right there in your pitcher. Scoreboard, England. Scoreboard forever.

Serve in tumbler glasses over ice. Now you've got Liber-Tea right in your hand. Don't squander it. Share it. Cherish it.


THE PLAY-OFF: FREEDOM

Here's your favorite marching band performing one of its many memorable halftime shows last season, The New Birth of Freedom. We're just two months from TBDBITL trying to somehow improve upon its 2013 performance. Don't bet against it unless you love to lose.

Arguably 2013 was the greatest year for any marching band going back to the season Cornell's band first performed Script Crest at halftime against Colgate, whose band famously features a tuba toothpaste. <--- just pretend everything in this paragraph is true

Soon we'll all again be witnesses to the ingenuity TBDBITL cooks up for its halftime shows: Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson, video games and the Beatles are likely out of consideration due to having been used last season. You can safely cross off every 2013 theme from repeating during the upcoming season. 

Except one.

[now click on this, press play, crank the volume and then come back to read on]

Freedom doesn't grow old, dear citizens. The New Birth of Freedom is reborn every single day in the United States, and if the finest marching band in our great nation feels compelled to roll out another feast for the eyes, ears and imaginations of the entire world borne out of another celebration America's enduring liberty, it should do so without hesitation.

'Merica

That's because Freedom isn't something you only celebrate once, or on July 2, or April 11, or when USMNT is valiantly representing us on the world stage, or when Urban Meyer starts swinging his recruiting stick, or when Alaska recoups its original acquisition cost before 3pm every single day, or when you gaze upon fireworks tomorrow night in your town, see a visiting Englishman standing nearby and empathetically say, "too soon?" 

No, Freedom is all around you. It's coursing through your bloodstream along with hemoglobin, bad cholesterol and Liber-Tea, cascading through your veins majestically whether you're reading this in bed, on the toilet or at your desk while your employer is paying you more per hour than most people in the world make in a month.

That's Freedom, comrades - and it's never situational; not in the USA.

Enjoy your holiday. Go Bucks & Go America.

76 Comments

Comments

mr.green's picture

Love it Ramzy! Freedom forever!  

+3 HS
causeicouldntgo43's picture

........and may God continue to Bless the United States of America.

+2 HS
Crumb's picture

Stone Cold Ramzy Strikes Again! USA! USA! USA!

"The only good thing about it is winning the d*** thing" - Urban Meyer on The Game The War

+5 HS
chirobuck's picture

lol....that looks like fun

 
^ best post ever ^

Zaphod Beeblebrox's picture

I wouldn't want the fella to be my neighbor.

+1 HS
M Man's picture

'MURICA.

But I thought that the 11W rules required spelling it as *urica...

You just can't do Murica without a big bad block M, can you?

+3 HS
Dirty419Boy's picture

Awesome as always. But I have to ask: can you really taste the difference between Bulleit and something WAY cheaper (say Evan Williams) with all that sugar and tea mixed in? I'm pretty sure I couldn't.

+2 HS
YTOWNBUCKI's picture

I agree with you here.  You can certainly taste the difference when you drink Bulleit all by itself...maybe an ice cube or two on a hot day.

+2 HS
Dirty419Boy's picture

Oh definitely.  Good stuff.  The cheap bastard in me though would prevent me from ever using Bulleit or Basil Hayden in a cocktail like that, unless I had an annual income approaching 7 figures.

+1 HS
Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

can you really taste the difference between Bulleit and something WAY cheaper (say Evan Williams) with all that sugar and tea mixed in?

Yes. It's not the initial taste but the finish where you can tell the difference, regardless of the mixture. The initial taste is lemony tea and sweet mint. The finish is all America.

Barnsey69's picture

Definitely a difference when you drink it straight, but I do find EW to be pretty smooth for a low shelf bourbon. Obviously I will defer to Ramzy regarding the drink, as I have never experienced said beverage...but that will soon change. Thank you for the recipe sir!

Thank the Maker that I was born in Ohio, cradle of coaches, US Presidents, confederate-stomping Generals, and home of The Ohio State University Football Buckeyes!

countrybuckeye's picture

That was just AWESOME.  

Thank you, Sir Patriot

"Momma told me there would be days like this."

+2 HS
Optimistic Buckeye Pessimist's picture

Henry McKenna 10 year acceptable for the Liber-tea?  ABC just had a sale and it's my everyday.

Read my entire screen name....

Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

Henry Mac might be a little too sturdy for Liber-Tea. Wonderful by itself, but give it a shot.

cronimi's picture

This was so beautiful and energizing, I don't know if I want to cry or run through a brick wall. Maybe both. Happy (early) Independence Day, everyone!

+3 HS
BucksfanXC's picture

I heard drums and fifes while I read this.

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

+4 HS
buckeyeEddie27's picture

A thousand times this

I know there's a game Saturday, and my ass will be there.

jamesrbrown322's picture

 God bless America

"I can accept failure, but I cannot accept not trying." - W.W. Hayes

+19 HS
cronimi's picture

And God bless Ms. Alison Brie.

+2 HS
Fatpants's picture

Why can I not upvote this more than once?

Hovenaut's picture

From the header image (f'n awesome) to the reads (this guy is using 'Concernicus')...

Top notch.

+3 HS
Fatpants's picture

July 4th is when we told Britain it was over. April 11th was when the crazy b$#&h finally accepted it, gave you your shit back, and changed her facebook status.
 

+8 HS
clint5507's picture

I can only assume that cup is full of Liber-tea.  Bravo, Ramzy.

+7 HS
ISURVIVEDCOOPER's picture

Ramzy, was this written during your month of world travel, and were you able to see any fine bourbon while on your trek?  In my visits to Europe and Asia, the only places with anything was in Duty Free... Free being the operative idea for our holiday.  

Berlin and London may have been the closest to having anything outside the usual stuff

"I don't apologize for anything.  When I make a mistake, I take the blame and go on from there." - Woody Hayes

Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

Wrote it mostly on a plane from NY to STL and back earlier this week. 

Drank wine and scotch whisky while I was abroad, because when in Rome. Literally - I was in Rome too.

Barnsey69's picture

Best bit I've read since I started here. I was in Rome 2 weeks ago myself, and in many other Italian cities/locales sampling many different alcoholic temptations. First time there, and I enjoyed it immensely. Very beautiful country, and they seem to really like Americans. However, to your point (here), there is no place like home.

Happy Birthday America!

Thank the Maker that I was born in Ohio, cradle of coaches, US Presidents, confederate-stomping Generals, and home of The Ohio State University Football Buckeyes!

ISURVIVEDCOOPER's picture

You got the bourbon, the scotch, and all you need now is a beer...

"I don't apologize for anything.  When I make a mistake, I take the blame and go on from there." - Woody Hayes

+5 HS
OsuPax's picture

Yes!!!

"My idea of a good hit is when the guy wakes up on the sidelines with train whistles blowing in his head." - Jack Tatum.

jamesrbrown322's picture

"I can accept failure, but I cannot accept not trying." - W.W. Hayes

+3 HS
SHAKENBAKE68's picture

And remember fellow Buckeyes...Freedom isn't Free.

God Bless our Troops!

Go Bucks!

There is no such thing as "friendly fire"..

+8 HS
Barnsey69's picture

We're not saying you're silly to ever worry about Ohio State's football recruiting; we're just saying it's really cute when you worry about it under Meyer.

Exactly. 

Thank the Maker that I was born in Ohio, cradle of coaches, US Presidents, confederate-stomping Generals, and home of The Ohio State University Football Buckeyes!

+1 HS
Earle's picture

You can relax now, Concernicus

I'm going to have to file this one away for future use.

Italics are for emphasis.

+5 HS
BGSUBucksFan's picture

That damn band draws better than I do.

+1 HS
potts.125's picture

Not to be a troll, but there are 41 countries in North America.

+2 HS
Ramzy Nasrallah's picture

Central America is the shadowy bagman of continents. 

potts.125's picture

Central America: the Nevin Shapiro of continents.

buckeyeEddie27's picture

Someone try to tell me they didn't get goosebumps when that song started. I'll wait here.

I know there's a game Saturday, and my ass will be there.

+2 HS
toad1204's picture

Feeling the need to at 10AM to crack open that Eagle Rare I've been sitting on for the past couple years.... 

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

Unky Buck's picture

This was great, Ramzy, but I'm going to be "that guy" for a moment:

First, the math: Europe and South America have well over 60 countries between them, whereas North America and Australia have four. 

There are 23 countries within North America that extends all the way down to Panama. There are many islands in the Atlantic, but most aren't independent. It seems many people tend to forget that Central America is a region and not a continent or part of South America.

...

+1 HS
Earle's picture

There you go again, bringing facts into play.  I think we all got Ramzy's continental drift.

Italics are for emphasis.

+3 HS
Unky Buck's picture

Facts are what I do.

...

Earle's picture

I thought gifs were what you did.  And dots.  And "Earle is old" jokes.

Italics are for emphasis.

+3 HS
Unky Buck's picture

Those are just hobbies.

...

+6 HS
Earle's picture

I am so disappointed that no one appreciated the continental drift comment.

EDIT:  Thank you for the pity upvote, whoever you are.

Italics are for emphasis.

+3 HS
IGotAWoody's picture

I did, Earle.

 - License to kill gophers (wolverines, badgers, etc) by the government of the United Nations

+1 HS
buckeyeradar's picture

Thanks Ramzy and those that served.

Buckeye in Texas

KevinJ's picture

God Bless America!

bleedscarlet's picture

I could let blondie run all day...

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken

+2 HS
Zaphod Beeblebrox's picture

U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!!!

toad1204's picture

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

+4 HS
chitown buckeye's picture

This sums up my plans for the 4th!! Best post of the thread, Toad!

"I'm having a heart attack!"

+1 HS
toad1204's picture

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

holein1's picture

Bulleit Rye is a personal favorite, but can we get some love for Woodford Reserve?  It's only a matter of time until one of these GIFs gets me in trouble at the office and I'm very willing to take that risk.

+1 HS
BierStube's picture

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

+5 HS
BierStube's picture

Most of you have probably seen this .. 

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

Maestro's picture

O beautiful for spacious skies

vacuuming sucks

+2 HS
causeicouldntgo43's picture

The Maestro is back.....Namaste!

+1 HS
ScarletNGrey01's picture

I remember when Arthur Ashe won Wimbledon in 1975 and was asked how it felt to win perhaps the most prestigious tournament in all of sports, he replied something along the lines of "Well, keep in mind there are about a billion people in China who don't know or care about this".  Of course, things have changed almost 40 years later and one of the big stars in China is the female tennis player Li Na, who has won two grand slam titles.  Ramzy is right, our perspective is pretty ethno-centric, but I'm fine with that, I'm a buckeye through-and-through and always will be, and if there is any holiday where nationalism should be allowed to dominate over a global perspective, it's the Fourth of July.

The will to win is not as important as the will to prepare to win. -- Woody Hayes

+2 HS
NuttyBuckeye's picture

Very nice article, Ramzy, perhaps your best!  Thank you, sir!

And, I've said it before and I will say it again: If there is a better band anywhere in the world, show me.  No band in the US can claim to be better, not one.

Proud to be a Buckeye!

Marc Pocock (a.k.a NuttyBuckeye)

What's round on the ends and high in the middle? Tell me if you know!

dubjayfootball90's picture

PURE. FREAKING. GOLD!!!!

You can feed a bobcat all the chili it wants. That don't mean it's going to crap out diamonds.

buckeyebfd's picture

Not to diminish the bourbon, but for the truly American booze you'd have to go with rum. Rum was first brewed in this hemisphere, bourbon just came along with our Scottish ancestors. And our forefathers were getting shit faced off rum in the revolution more so than bourbon.

causeicouldntgo43's picture

And waking up with some really, really nasty hangovers.....

ULuvLucy's picture

I gotta admit, I skipped everything else in the article to read the Liber-Tea bourbon recipe. Don't force me to have to make a choice between OSU and whiskey again! :P

BrutusBlock O

stevebelliseeya's picture

or when you gaze upon fireworks tomorrow night in your town, see a visiting Englishman standing nearby and empathetically say, "too soon?" 

One of the funniest things I've read in quite some time....I will be using this on the reg for this years festivities if it becomes available.

"We are eternal. All this pain is an illusion." - Tool

+1 HS
ISURVIVEDCOOPER's picture

It would have been great to read the whole piece while listening to the Battle Hymn you linked - maybe that will be a feature in the next upgrade for 11W (hint hint).

"I don't apologize for anything.  When I make a mistake, I take the blame and go on from there." - Woody Hayes

Et_Tu_OSU's picture

That was one fine beverage, Ramzy.  I had neighbors from three houses down in both directions hanging out on my porch until halfway through Red, White & Boom and nobody cared they were missing it.  Well played, sir.

"The revolution will be televised."

+1 HS
northwoods buckeye's picture

I hope that the USA has learned to appreciate soccer a bit more and that a game doesn't need to be high scoring to be exciting. I'll be visiting my cardiologist to make sure everything's OK after the USMNT matches.
 

Conan! What is best in life?

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

CentralFloridaBuckeye's picture

I love it!  Scoreboard world!  We may not be there yet in soccer, but the USA is a great country!  Now let's play an American football tournament and every country has to field a team!

Go Bucks and Go USA!!

+2 HS