John Simon, Tim Tebow, Chuck Norris.....
I think you know where this is headed.
You have 48 hours to tell us your best John Simon facts and jokes. The top submission will win a 11W Respect The Basement T-Shirt... haha I kid I kid, there will be no prize. Only the respect (and jubilation) of a few guys sitting in their parents basement:)
John Simon is an original Avenger...the government forced Marvel to keep him out of the movie because he could possibly destroy Worlds!
Run_Fido's favorite word is strawman.
John Simon gave Magic Johnson the cure for AIDS
Fan of bacon since 1981
there was no such thing as a giraffe, that is until john simon uppercutted a horse.
I once came up with a marketing campaign for John Simon toilet paper, then I realized it would never work bcuz John Simon doesnt take shit from anyone
mark may wins douchebag of the year... again
John Simon is so tough that he had to circumsize himself with his teeth because there is nothing and no one that can pierce his skin.
I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.
^^ Uhh...too far?
John Simon's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried!
John Simon's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools John Simon!
"Anything less than flagrant is just playing grab ass!"
Let's see some original content folks. No more Chuck Norris spin offs.
I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.
Ryan Shazier's 40 time was the direct result of John Simon chasing him.
4-6 seconds from point A to point B and when you get to point B, be pissed off
When Barry Sanders found out that John Simon had started playing Pee Wee Football, he retired early, just in case.
John Simon knows how to use the 3 seashells from Demolition Man
Fan of bacon since 1981
After John Simon was done with the blocking sled, they renamed it "Rosebud."
Simonize: (v) To wax or polish a surface; most often the floor, using your opponent's blood, tears and urine.
Whenever I'm constipated, I just look at my John Simon Fathead.
"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."
If John Simon were ever to date one of the Meyer Girls, and said relationship got serious to the point of marriage, Urban Meyer would ask John Simon if he would be so kind as to marry his daughter.
4-6 seconds from point A to point B and when you get to point B, be pissed off
John Simon's cup wears a cup.
I know there's a game saturday, and my ass will be there.
The Hulk once put on a muscle suit for halloween to dress up like John Simon...
Godzilla was orginally cast as John Simon. 3 writers died of fright before they could even start writting the script so they had to recast as something less frightening.
John Simon is Chuck Norris's father.
-John Simon recruited Urban Meyer to coach at tOSU.
-John Simon once refered to Meyer as "Tebowish."
-OSU originally considered replacing the 't' in tOSU with "John Simon's." The NCAA ruled it was a competitive advantage and wouldn't allow it.
Tim Tebow used to thank John Simon after every play, John Simon asked Tim to tone it down and use his pen name.
John Simon is so tough that he trained his pecs to fist bump after every sack.
I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.
"Now I am become Johnny Simon, Destroyer of Worlds"
-J. Robert Oppenheimer, upon witnessing the first detonation of a 65 megaton Simon in Ohio Stadium
"You have to slay the selfish beast inside of you and be your brother's keeper" - Chris Spielman, on being a great teammate
Meyer described Simon as "Tebow-ish". Tebow sent Meyer a cease and desist in hopes of self preservation.
John Simon took a picture with 5 scantily clad women. You haven't heard about it because the media fears him.
I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.
John Simon was passed up for the roll of the Old Spice power commercials guy because the writers thought him to be too unrealistic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTvtFp_iPKc
I know there's a game saturday, and my ass will be there.
John Simon doesn't eat, he feeds off the souls of QB's.
Lebron James accidently bumbed John Simon on the sidelines at an OSU football game. "The Decision" was finalized at that very moment when Simon told James he had to find a new state to live in.
John Simon once brought an audience to tears by singing Opera through sign language.
John Simon doesn't do push-ups. He does Earth-downs.
I know there's a game saturday, and my ass will be there.
John Simon won't be taken in the first 3 rounds of the NFL draft.
Oh...Fake ones. Right.
John Simon bench presses Jonathan Hankins
4-6 seconds from point A to point B and when you get to point B, be pissed off
John Simon's biceps have biceps that are bigger than your biceps.
I wouldn't cheer for Michigan if they were playing the Taliban.
John Simon forced Gary Kasparov to concede after only two moves - pawn to e4 and a menacing glare.
John Simon was a three time champion of Ninja Warrior. By age 12.
I know there's a game saturday, and my ass will be there.
John Simon!?!?!?!RRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John Simon only wears dress shirts, they appear to be plaid because fabric is scared of him.
Before John Simon goes to bed he checks under the bed for John Simons.
I know there's a game saturday, and my ass will be there.
Urban Meyer didn't let John Simon play in the Spring Game for the sake of his own team's safety.
Oh wait, that really happened.
I think Buckeyeddie is the leader so far, hahaha...."Earthdowns"
"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."
John Simon's biceps are so big they still have snow on them in the summer.
John Simon wipes his ass with a porcupine
John Simon's earliest ancestor is a Triceratops.
I know there's a game saturday, and my ass will be there.
Jesus hasn't come back yet because he's scared of John Simon
Fan of bacon since 1981
Jesus doesn't Tebow, he John Simons.
Contest Over. Looks like we're gunna have a 4 team playoff with:
Before John Simon goes to bed he checks under the bed for John Simons
John Simon forced Gary Kasparov to concede after only two moves - pawn to e4 and a menacing glare
there was no such thing as a giraffe, that is until john simon uppercutted a horse
John Simon's biceps are so big they still have snow on them in the summer.
Oh Wait, Jim Delany veteos my decision, looks like our mythical champion determined by me and 20 anonymous sports writers, the baseball hall of fame who left out Pete Rose and the BCS Computers have all gotten together and..... The Winner is........ SIR RICKITHDA3RD
there was no such thing as a giraffe, that is until john simon uppercutted a horse.
there you have it folks. actually there was a split decision, the AP Top 25 decided in favor of Run_Fido_Run so the $2,500 grand prize gift card will be cut in half (thus rendered useless) and sent to the proper addresses. Thank you for playing everyone!
my 2012 final four hat will be worn from this day forward with an additional level of pride.
I know there's a game saturday, and my ass will be there.
had to add this one....
Seal Team 6 asked to changed their name to Seal Team 54