Back by popular demand (all three of you guys), I present to you another weekly segment of the newly dubbed Flatulence with Cooper. I apologize if any of you find fart jokes as a method to garner cheap laughs, but in the words of Louis Székely, "You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to." Last week's column featured Mike Ditka ripping the brown noise towards former Buckeye Cris Carter. 

This week's column is dedicated to any man or woman who has been awoken by the power of his or her own fart(s). When your husband or wife does it late in the night after a drunken Taco Bell escapade, it's putrid. But... when a dog lets go of a sleeping giant, it's hilariously adorable. This little puppy was dreaming about chasing DJ's cats around his apartment, causing his stomach to rumble in the external world. Much to the puppy's chagrin, DJ pulled out a Bee Gee's record and let "How Deep is Your Love?" play repetitively. Thus, the puppy lost control of his nervous system and released a rumbling fart that caused such confusion he would later declare himself a nihilist.

This puppy had the courtesy to let the owner be prepared for the ensuing windstorm, whereas my Basset Hound likes to simply leave muted stink bombs throughout the house. 

This column is brought to you by commenters (not Earle) who ironically comment first on their own forums (also not Earle) *grins menacingly*