Today, I am finding peace in the fact that I will never be as good at my job as this security guard.
This is why you study film. Read her like a bookpic.twitter.com/Yhy61j1ipO— Kendall Baker (@kendallbaker) April 24, 2022
I'm not sure anyone has ever landed a gig in the secret service due to a viral video clip, but this might be the first.
Word of the Day: Urbane.
MAY THE BIGGEST BAGS WIN. If y'all were wondering how exactly Ohio State missed out on its latest transfer portal perusal, you probably don't have to wonder all that hard.
***BREAKING NEWS*** @LifeWallet is proud to announce @NijelPack24 has officially committed to UM as a basketball player. The biggest LifeWallet deal to date, two years $800,000.00 total at $400,000.00 per year plus a car. Congratulations!!! @johnnyruiz4 @alex7ruiz @ddiazon7 pic.twitter.com/SzKHag8qnG— John H. Ruiz, Attorney at Law (@JohnHRuiz) April 23, 2022
I don't know what people on the Ohio State were cooking up for him (if anything) but it would appear that they got outbid!
Once again, I don't fault the kid here one bit. There's no guarantee he has a future in basketball outside of college. If he can make $800,000 playing college ball for two years and set himself up for life, there's no reason why he shouldn't.
But if this is going to be what Ohio State meets on the recruiting trail, especially in basketball, something's realistically gonna have to change if they're going to compete.
NOT A DRY EYE. Terry McLaurin is one of the single most eloquent, thoughtful, intelligent and downright kind individuals I have ever witnessed come through the Ohio State football program.
So it makes all the sense in the world that he would be the one to deliver an address at Dwayne Haskins' celebration of life this weekend. And it was every bit as powerful and touching as you might imagine.
Washington Commanders WR Terry McLaurin (@TheTerry_25) at Dwayne Haskins' celebration of life in New Jersey.— Darren M. Haynes (@DarrenMHaynes) April 23, 2022
"Dwayne made me a better man and a better friend"
More: https://t.co/ulOKkmcrff pic.twitter.com/sJL7z9ghzE
This can be said in so many different contexts: God bless Terry McLaurin. He is a genuine delight to the world and we do not have enough people like him.
SPRING GAMES > USC. Last week, my esteemed colleague Dan spoke to USC kicker Parker Lewis who had some very candid thoughts while comparing Ohio State's spring game crowd to USC's regular season crowds.
“I was telling my dad, there were more fans in that stadium than there were any USC home game I played my freshman and sophomore year. And that was a spring game,” Lewis said. “So football is like a religion out here. I mean, people would just eat, sleep, breathe it. It was super cool to see how big of a deal it was out here.”
Naturally, that quote spread like wildfire. The USC folks were pissy and Buckeyes were pumping their chests, but then there were Oklahoma people who now hate USC with a passion I'm not sure I'll ever comprehend – they reveled in it more than anyone else.
And on Saturday, it got even funnier.
"Largest Spring Game crowd on record!"
For what it's worth, Ohio State's spring game attendance was 60,007 on a cold and rainy afternoon, which is still nearly double USC's crowd. Perhaps Lincoln Riley can blame the weather, too? Too sunny and warm?
In any case, not sure I have ever needed anything more than a USC vs. Oklahoma postseason game of any kind.
RECORDS ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN. The coolest thing about athletic records is when you get to watch them get broken again. It's a never-ending cycle of joy (provided peak human athleticism keeps advancing), and we got to see that this weekend.
USA Olympian (and Buckeye, to be clear) Anavia Battle got to rewrite that Ohio State record book this weekend.
USA Olympian Anavia Battle set an OSU record under all conditions with a time of 11.06* in the 100-meter dash at the Jesse Owens Invitational. (*exceeded wind threshold). @Annaavviiaa pic.twitter.com/RTtITMdR77— Justin Holbrock (@NBC4Justin) April 23, 2022
Congrats to Anavia on the record. I mean it in the kindest way when I say I hope that it doesn't stand for long.
SONG OF THE DAY. "These Days" by Wallows.
NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. Why people don't barf on planes as much as they used to... A Utah college offers a course that analyzes pornography... Gonorrhea, once an easily treated and relatively mild STI, is becoming a superbug with major public health implications... The dark history of girls gone wild... A trainer and a racehorse both test positive for meth...