If anyone deserves retirement, it's Diego The Tortoise.
Rest up, fam.
Diego, 100 year old tortoise who single handedly saved his species with his rapid sex drive, is retiring. He has 800 kids. pic.twitter.com/RBv3hzg3CQ
— Saycheese TV (@SaycheeseDGTL) June 16, 2020
Word of the Day: Picayune.
THIS WEEK'S OUTRAGE. Internet law mandates that there must be at least one thing everybody is angry about each week.
Here is this week's outrage:
"You're really trying to hoodwink people!"@maxkellerman is HEATED over the waiver Ohio State has asked players and parents to sign before returning to campus for workout pic.twitter.com/g8SmbLS6i6
— First Take (@FirstTake) June 16, 2020
Now, I'm of the camp that there should be substantially fewer legal documents in general and am very much a "do not sign things unless you absolutely have to" kind of guy. So I was pretty firmly against this on principle and am definitely not going to try to spin this into a positive thing that I think is very good.
However, when I actually thought about it for a bit, I realized that on the scale of "bullshit NCAA student-athletes have to deal with," this is like a 3/10. My parents signed stricter permission slips to let me go to a farm and pet goats in first grade.
Every school is going to have some iteration of this, and the other versions are already way, way worse than what Ohio State rolled out. Let's take a look at SMU's:
“[I] further agree to voluntarily assume all risks related to the COVID-19 virus,” the document states. The student-athlete must digitally sign next to that line.
Compared to Ohio State's:
“I pledge to take responsibility for my own health and help stop the spread of the COVID-19,”
But yes, Ohio State is the problem.
My pal Tony also brought up a very solid point – if legal experts universally agree that there's no way this is legally binding, and Ohio State's athletic director literally said they don't look at it as a legal document in the first place, why are we even talking about this?
Now, if Ohio State does actually try to enforce one of these as a waiver in the future, then folks can be as pissed as they'd like – and I'll be right there with them.
STILL LIMITING CROWDS. The Hall of Fame Game marks the start of football season every year, and it's looking like it's probably going to mark the start of limited crowds, as well.
Governor DeWine said it's "highly unlikely" that crowds of around 20k would be allowed for the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game and HOF Enshrinement ceremony in August.
— Zac Jackson (@AkronJackson) June 16, 2020
"If the question was could that event occur today, the answer would be no. It would be extremely dangerous."
On one hand, this doesn't seem like good news if you're Ohio State, hoping to have between 20,000 and 60,000 fans in your stands a month later. On the other hand, this is just a bit misleading if you don't consider it in context.
Tom Benson Hall of Fame Stadium has a capacity of 23,000. So DeWine isn't necessarily saying "crowds of 20,000 cannot happen," he's saying "we won't allow the stadium to be full," which was never really an expectation for stadiums at this point.
DeWine said "probably the last things that are going to be able to be open are the big crowds, particularly when you have big crowds that are close together." Ohio State's plan seems to be to make sure big crowds are not close together in the 'Shoe, and there are still 2.5 months for things to improve.
NO TREY BURKE. The good news is, Ohio State's alumni TBT team will stay Wolverine-free for another year. On the other hand, Carmen's Crew did miss out on an extremely good addition.
A few hours after the TBT's bracket release, rumors started swirling that Carmen's Crew would be adding a familiar villain.
Two team members told NBC4 that it is not a certainty Burke will join their team, but he would be welcomed.
Burke was a teammate of Sullinger on the Northland High team which was ranked #1 in the nation. Burke was later the National Player of the Year at Michigan before beginning his NBA career. He most recently played with Philadelphia before being released earlier this year.
“If it happens to work out where he joins us, we will welcome him with open arms, so it’ll be a surprise for everybody,” Lauderdale says.
“You introduce a guy like Trey Burke who is the score, this is what he does, they pay him millions of dollars to put the ball in the hole. You have a situation where it’s like, ‘OK we need a bucket. Trey, do your thing’” Carmen’s Crew forward Evan Ravenel said.
But it turns out, that isn't the case.
The stories going around is not true. I will not be playing with @CarmensCrew in this years @thetournament.
— Trey Burke (@TreyBurke) June 17, 2020
I have no beef with Trey Burke. He's an Ohioan who would have come to Ohio State if the Buckeyes wanted him. His only crime is signing with the best team that recruited him once Ohio State went with someone else.
As for Carmen's Crew, I guess it's time to explore other options. They could always go full circle and add Shannon Scott...
VIRTUAL CAMP. COVID-19 ruined a lot of fun things for kids this year, but the 2nd & 7 team is making sure football camp is not lost – even if it has to be done virtually.
I'm gonna go ahead and assume that "boys & girls of all ages" includes 25-year-old bloggers and their cats.
SONG OF THE DAY. "Upward Over the Mountain" by Iron & Wine.
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